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   The CHiPs are down: California Highway Patrol announces job openings for the first time in 3 years

05 Jan 2013 02:12 PM   |   2345 clicks   |   Patch
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FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  
I assume they need a Latino heartthrob and a nondescript blonde white guy to partner with him.

05 Jan 2013 12:00 PM
PhiloeBedoe    [TotalFark]  
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05 Jan 2013 01:02 PM
Brontes    [TotalFark]  

FirstNationalBastard: I assume they need a Latino heartthrob and a nondescript blonde white guy to partner with him.


That might be what they want, but they will end up with 250 lbs fat guys stuffed into their uniforms that are out of breath by the time they walk up to your car to ask for license and registration.

05 Jan 2013 01:06 PM
ecmoRandomNumbers    [TotalFark]  
I can be the latino heartthrob. Well, not exactly. I've got white, freckly skin, but I do speak Spanish fluently.

05 Jan 2013 01:11 PM
Dancin_In_Anson    [TotalFark]  
Guess what.

They are going to make him.

Joe's going to make you?

They opened the books.

Joe got the okay.

Can you believe that?

This latino bastard.He's getting made. We'll work for this guy one day. He'll be a boss.

I can't believe him. I'm happy for you. Congratulations.

05 Jan 2013 02:03 PM
Popcorn Johnny     
I applied to become a state trooper many years ago but lost out because minority applicants were being given bonus points on their tests.  Affirmative action can suck my dick.

05 Jan 2013 02:15 PM
Thanks for the Meme-ries    [TotalFark]  
i291.photobucket.comView Full Size

05 Jan 2013 02:15 PM
Maus III     
offers unlimited opportunities for someone who is looking for a challenge."

SOunds liike military en;loistment propagand; ie well gikcinthe sjut aout of iyour!

05 Jan 2013 02:16 PM
Sticky Hands    [TotalFark]  

Maus III: offers unlimited opportunities for someone who is looking for a challenge."

SOunds liike military en;loistment propagand; ie well gikcinthe sjut aout of iyour!


sonof a bith... tthe gubbment finanly perfected the instant braiin fryer!

05 Jan 2013 02:17 PM
sjcpjh1     
I'm willing to bet they will get a ton of lateral transfers from other departments who have layoff problems.....like San Jose for starters.

05 Jan 2013 02:19 PM
Psycoholic_Slag     

Brontes: FirstNationalBastard: I assume they need a Latino heartthrob and a nondescript blonde white guy to partner with him.

That might be what they want, but they will end up with 250 lbs fat guys stuffed into their uniforms that are out of breath by the time they walk up to your car to ask for license and registration.


Don't forget the handful of 5'4", 105 lb. semi-attractive bull dykes.

05 Jan 2013 02:19 PM
MFAWG     

Brontes: FirstNationalBastard: I assume they need a Latino heartthrob and a nondescript blonde white guy to partner with him.

That might be what they want, but they will end up with 250 lbs fat guys stuffed into their uniforms that are out of breath by the time they walk up to your car to ask for license and registration.


I just saw 6 Washington Staties at Starbucks (go figure) and they were all whip thin and looked to be about 12 years old.

05 Jan 2013 02:21 PM
LessO2     
AAA with guns.

05 Jan 2013 02:22 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  

Thanks for the Meme-ries:


God bless you.

/if that's your God
//I crack up every time at that pic

05 Jan 2013 02:22 PM
SirEattonHogg     
Yeah, and they will put you out for a 5 year stint in Fresno or Imperial county. Yipeeee!

05 Jan 2013 02:23 PM
Amos Quito     

Popcorn Johnny: I applied to become a state trooper many years ago but lost out because minority applicants were being given bonus points on their tests.  Affirmative action can suck my dick.


FTA: "Through this process, we are determined to find qualified men and women from diverse backgrounds..."

www.ladyofthecake.comView Full Size

We don't want the Irish!


/Times haven't changed.

05 Jan 2013 02:24 PM
calbert    [TotalFark]  
blog.motorcycle.comView Full Size


/obscure?

05 Jan 2013 02:25 PM
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom     
Yeah, if there's anything CA freeways need, it's to be slowed down more.

05 Jan 2013 02:25 PM
WhoopAssWayne     
There are so many levels of redundant cops in this country it's ridiculous. If you cut government jobs by half across the board, no one would know the difference. Military, police, the bureaucracy, etc. Lots of easy cuts to make before cutting into anything actually useful to society (regulators, inspectors, R&D, etc.)

05 Jan 2013 02:26 PM
Britney Spear's Speculum     

sjcpjh1: I'm willing to bet they will get a ton of lateral transfers from other departments who have layoff problems.....like San Jose for starters.


It's not a layoff problem, it's a "I'm the mayor, I tea-bagged the city into believing we don't need to pay cops firefighters a living wage with a decent pension" problem

05 Jan 2013 02:26 PM
ecmoRandomNumbers    [TotalFark]  

SirEattonHogg: Yeah, and they will put you out for a 5 year stint in Fresno or Imperial county. Yipeeee!


Fresno? Where the hell is Fresno? Do they even have police there?

Never mind, I'll just be a CHiP in my own head.

05 Jan 2013 02:27 PM
Goodfella     
media.screened.comView Full Size


When I wear blue, I am like the wind. A hot LATIN wind!


05 Jan 2013 02:28 PM
Thanks for the Meme-ries    [TotalFark]  

blatz514: Thanks for the Meme-ries:

God bless you.

/if that's your God
//I crack up every time at that pic


See that pic often, do ya?

/not a homo
//NTTAWWT

05 Jan 2013 02:32 PM
Mr. Coffee Nerves    [TotalFark]  
Bah! Call me when they're recruiting more TJ Hookers!

05 Jan 2013 02:32 PM
TeddyRooseveltsMustache     
www.topplers.netView Full Size

05 Jan 2013 02:33 PM
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom     

WhoopAssWayne: There are so many levels of redundant cops in this country it's ridiculous. If you cut government jobs by half across the board, no one would know the difference. Military, police, the bureaucracy, etc. Lots of easy cuts to make before cutting into anything actually useful to society (regulators, inspectors, R&D, etc.)


Yeah, everytime I see 3 cops lined up in a speed trap, I think, "Oh, good, all the rapes, murders, arsons, and rapes have been stopped! The city must be crime free if they're dedicating 3-6 cops to catch people going 6 over the limit."

05 Jan 2013 02:33 PM
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER     
In my experience, the CHP is the least corrupt of California's various and sundry law "enforcement" agencies. If you have a beef with the CHP, you probably farked up.

05 Jan 2013 02:33 PM
Nothing To See Here     
One of my best pals is the Commander at the Academy and another is the Commissioner.
Met them years ago when I was doing standup for Chips retirement parties.

Support the 11-99 Foundation.

That is all.

05 Jan 2013 02:34 PM
Britney Spear's Speculum     

Britney Spear's Speculum: it's a "I'm the mayor, I tea-bagged the city into believing we don't need to pay cops firefighters a living wage with a decent pension" problem



[citations]
[citations]

05 Jan 2013 02:36 PM
buzzcut73     

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: In my experience, the CHP is the least corrupt of California's various and sundry law "enforcement" agencies. If you have a beef with the CHP, you probably farked up.


This has been my experience in pretty much every state I've lived in or traveled through. If I'm out in the middle of nowhere, I'd much rather be stopped by a state trooper than the night shift deputy from the Backwater County Sheriff's Office.

05 Jan 2013 02:38 PM
kombat_unit     

Britney Spear's Speculum: Britney Spear's Speculum: it's a "I'm the mayor, I tea-bagged the city into believing we don't need to pay cops firefighters a living wage with a decent pension" problem


[citations]
[citations]


Ya, I super murder everyone around me when the cops have layoffs.

05 Jan 2013 02:38 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: blatz514: Thanks for the Meme-ries:

God bless you.

/if that's your God
//I crack up every time at that pic

See that pic often, do ya?

/not a homo
//NTTAWWT


Ha. I got that in an email about 9yrs ago.

05 Jan 2013 02:50 PM
Pie_Cz     
Did California get a loan? Last I heard they were broke.

05 Jan 2013 02:50 PM
OscarTamerz     

Nothing To See Here: One of my best pals is the Commander at the Academy and another is the Commissioner.
Met them years ago when I was doing standup for Chips retirement parties.

Support the 11-99 Foundation.

That is all.


What a joke. That is known as the "brass pass" and you get a little badge and a license plate holder. Every other Porsche, Ferrari or 500 hp supercar sports those and they cost thousands to get in exchange for your bribe donation. They make you virtually immune from CHP predation. So much less awkward than forking over Franklins at the side of the road to get out of the ticket with points plus it's tax deductible and not a felony.

05 Jan 2013 02:55 PM
TomD9938     
As a kid I loved the opening sequence to CHiPs. Now it seems sort of dated and ridiculous... although the song is still pretty cool (biatchin synth!).

Remember that one episode where the tanker truck tipped over next to the downed live power-line and Ponch had to save the bus load of kids that were trapped between the two?

That was awesome.

/ opening credits Link

05 Jan 2013 03:06 PM
buckler     

TomD9938: As a kid I loved the opening sequence to CHiPs. Now it seems sort of dated and ridiculous... although the song is still pretty cool (biatchin synth!).

Remember that one episode where the tanker truck tipped over next to the downed live power-line and Ponch had to save the bus load of kids that were trapped between the two?

That was awesome.

/ opening credits Link


All the magic left for me when I found out that, during the scenes when they were riding side-by-side and conversing, they were actually mounted on fake bikes being pulled on a trailer behind the camera truck.

05 Jan 2013 03:20 PM
fuhfuhfuh     
I briefly thought about joining CHP years ago. Researched what it would take. They required at the time a rather extensive physical evaluation, including a 3 minute mile. You have to be willing to be assigned anywhere in the state, which usually meant rookies get assigned to the backwaters (hello Owen's Valley). The pay would have been middling, and I would have enjoyed the honor of being in a job that has one of the higher risk rates than most city or county cops. The requirements for city or county seemed to be taking a test and not getting winded going up a flight of stairs.

Needless to say, I just worked my ass off to get into IT instead. Made as much money starting there as I would have in CHP, with a much lower chance of getting killed in the line of duty and not have to move to the middle of nowhere for the job.

You have to either be dedicated to law enforcement or REALLY want to power trip to take that job.

05 Jan 2013 03:29 PM
BigChad     

fuhfuhfuh: I briefly thought about joining CHP years ago. Researched what it would take. They required at the time a rather extensive physical evaluation,

including a 3 minute mile. You have to be willing to be assigned anywhere in the state, which usually meant rookies get assigned to the backwaters (hello Owen's Valley). The pay would have been middling, and I would have enjoyed the honor of being in a job that has one of the higher risk rates than most city or county cops. The requirements for city or county seemed to be taking a test and not getting winded going up a flight of stairs.

Needless to say, I just worked my ass off to get into IT instead. Made as much money starting there as I would have in CHP, with a much lower chance of getting killed in the line of duty and not have to move to the middle of nowhere for the job.

You have to either be dedicated to law enforcement or REALLY want to power trip to take that job.


You sure about that?

05 Jan 2013 04:17 PM
Mokmo     
They really only require High School diploma?
Around here they won't consider you unless you have done the community college (equivalent) degree in police techniques with good grades, then you get to go for a 6-week training course at the national police school...

05 Jan 2013 04:23 PM
FarkerinMN     

fuhfuhfuh: including a 3 minute mile.


The fastest mile ever run by a human is 3:43 by Hicham El Guerrouj of Morocco.

05 Jan 2013 04:49 PM
Nothing To See Here     
If you can't run a mile in under 3 minutes,
you might opt for one of those black & white cars.

05 Jan 2013 05:01 PM
Now I Is!     
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.netView Full Size

05 Jan 2013 05:18 PM
Goodfella     
fc00.deviantart.netView Full Size


California: where to be a cop you must first run a 3 minute mile.

05 Jan 2013 06:21 PM
Wayne 985     
Thanks to the submitter of this article. I actually wanted to apply for them some time ago, but they obviously weren't taking anyone. I wasn't aware they were doing so now, and so I just submitted an application. It might be a long shot, but what the heck.

05 Jan 2013 10:02 PM
JDJoeE     
I had a coworker who went through the process (took a few years iirc). Eventually got called to go to the academy. Never did find out whether he wound up in a heaven on earth like Barstow or Needles. Perhaps he lucked out and wound up in a big city. Like Bakersfield.

/11-99 is legally sanctioned corruption
//fun to watch locals paper the 11-99 people and listen to the ensuing CHP QQ

06 Jan 2013 12:51 AM
Holodigm     
sharetv.orgView Full Size


/hot like Estrada

06 Jan 2013 03:42 AM
fuhfuhfuh     

BigChad: fuhfuhfuh: I briefly thought about joining CHP years ago. Researched what it would take. They required at the time a rather extensive physical evaluation, including a 3 minute mile. You have to be willing to be assigned anywhere in the state, which usually meant rookies get assigned to the backwaters (hello Owen's Valley). The pay would have been middling, and I would have enjoyed the honor of being in a job that has one of the higher risk rates than most city or county cops. The requirements for city or county seemed to be taking a test and not getting winded going up a flight of stairs.

Needless to say, I just worked my ass off to get into IT instead. Made as much money starting there as I would have in CHP, with a much lower chance of getting killed in the line of duty and not have to move to the middle of nowhere for the job.

You have to either be dedicated to law enforcement or REALLY want to power trip to take that job.

You sure about that?


Sorry. 5-minute mile.

06 Jan 2013 07:29 PM
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