Andrew Jackson was assassinated?

Did someone steal Obama's magical time machine and change history again?

FirstNationalBastard: Andrew Jackson was assassinated?

Did someone steal Obama's magical time machine and change history again?

oooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Andrew Jackson is America's greatest President.

FirstNationalBastard: Andrew Jackson was assassinated?

Did someone steal Obama's magical time machine and change history again?

FTA: Lincoln and Kennedy were assassinated and Jackson would have been as well, if his would-be assassin's guns hadn't misfired. I didn't know either.

FTFA: How many times have we heard the phrase "all the gold in Fort Knox"?

Ummm, not in the past 30 years or so?

FirstNationalBastard: Andrew Jackson was assassinated?

Did someone steal Obama's magical time machine and change history again?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_ Jackson#Attack_and_assassination _a ttempt

It was the Bacon Vampire Illuminati and the Big Lebowski, wasn't it.

Three times I voted Jackson, thinking him bullet-proof. He just had that cockiness, I liked him.

Most of the gold is in the basement of the Federal Reserve Bank in Manhattan, not Fort Knox.

That is the worst article on Fark today.

According to this, in the future Total Fark may cost more than 5 Ameros a month.

Fort Knox, ha, it's for tourists.

FirstNationalBastard: Andrew Jackson was assassinated?

Did someone steal Obama's magical time machine and change history again?

Yep. In this timeline, Jackson was assassinated, and most of the southern U.S. is occupied and run by Native Americans. It has worked out pretty well.

//also in this timeline, when you're hungry, it's customary to say "I'd kill for some crack"
/say that to a police officer and they'll kindly point out the nearest burger joint

Well, that's 93 seconds of my life I won't get back. Learned everything I need to know about TruTV, though.

Bull Moose 76: That is the worst article on Fark today.

Clearly you haven't seen the Politics tab articles today.

rob.d: Fort Knox, ha, it's for tourists.



Concurs.

Male Models, duh.

/feel like I'm taking crazy pills here.

This headline failed to ignite and makes me want to beat it nearly to death with Andrew Jackson's cane.

From the Cracked article about what a badass lunatic Andrew Jackson was:

Best Quote:

"I have only two regrets: I didn't shoot Henry Clay and I didn't hang John C. Calhoun."

That's right. In a life rich with murdering people for little-to-no reason, Jackson's only regret was that he didn't kill quite enough people. People like Calhoun who, it should be noted, was Jackson's vice president.

He knows the real reason why.

"announcing the birth of a new secular order on this earth."

Learn Latin, morans.

Jackson shot first.

thecpt: Male Models, duh.

/feel like I'm taking crazy pills here.

Win.

Someothermonkey: He knows the real reason why.

[img808.imageshack.us image 320x192]

Place.

...does that make me Show?

The Rothschilds tried to assassinate Jackson after a long running battle over whether the US should control its own currency or if a group of assholes in Zurich should.

Don't mess with the bankers.

Oh, and my grandmother was convinced that JFK was still alive on an island with Marilyn Monroe. Really. No, she did not have Alzehimer's. Just a nutty grannie!

Did you know the Andrew Jackson had pirates in his army at the Battle of New Orleans?

/badass

Not to get all herpy derpy here, but damn this article pisses me off.

For instance, FTFA: "Its name implies that the country's richest institution is run with federal oversight. But according to author David Graeber's book Debt, "The Federal Reserve -- despite its name -- is technically not part of the government but a consortium of privately owned banks which otherwise operates without public oversight." The Fed's only government oversight is that the fact that the President appoints its Chairman"

What follows the bold words, is complete fact. If you read this paragraph the tone implies that "this whack-job alleges that The Federal Reserve is technically not a part of the government", and it isn't a part of the government, and everyone is taught this in high-school. It's a private corporation. Not going to bite on the other parts of this, but that is all legitimate.
Why is that worded so that you immediately dismiss that factual information, as if it is kook-talk?

GoSurfing: Not to get all herpy derpy here, but damn this article pisses me off.

For instance, FTFA: "Its name implies that the country's richest institution is run with federal oversight. But according to author David Graeber's book Debt, "The Federal Reserve -- despite its name -- is technically not part of the government but a consortium of privately owned banks which otherwise operates without public oversight." The Fed's only government oversight is that the fact that the President appoints its Chairman"

What follows the bold words, is complete fact. If you read this paragraph the tone implies that "this whack-job alleges that The Federal Reserve is technically not a part of the government", and it isn't a part of the government, and everyone is taught this in high-school. It's a private corporation. Not going to bite on the other parts of this, but that is all legitimate.
Why is that worded so that you immediately dismiss that factual information, as if it is kook-talk?


Same reason Discovery-Times Channel did a 9/11 Conspiracy "investigation" that dealt with issues like missiles on planes, remote controlled planes and thermite instead of talking one word about the many real questions about 9/11. Same reason Alex Jones cashes an Illuminati check every month. Signal to noise ratio and all that.

Came for the Simon Gruber reference, leaving pleased.

Fark Rye For Many Whores: "announcing the birth of a new secular order on this earth."

Learn Latin, morans.

Et tu, Brute?

Novus ordo seclorum="New Order of the Ages"

Regarding the Amero, am I wrong in thinking that all grey and black market trade in Mexico is conducted in US$ anyway? If it were to happen, there are a couple of important lessons to learn from the euro:

1. Have a strong central bank.
b. Don't listen to JP Morgan Chase when they say Greece is totes ok to join brah.

I'm gonna go ahead and ignore people who can't spell four-letter words correctly.

Weak article. I think it's more plausible that *if* Kennedy was assassinated by an organized group, rather than Lee Harvey acting on his own, it would be as a result of Kennedy's opposition to Operation Northwoods.

High-level people drafting proposals that involved killing US citizens would tend to want to cover that shiat up. Thank you, Freedom of Information Act.

Andrew Jackson? No, Michael Jackson was assassinated by the Lizardman Illuminati to keep him from publicly coming out as one of them.

Clash City Farker: Andrew Jackson is America's greatest President.

James k Polk.

GoSurfing: Not to get all herpy derpy here, but damn this article pisses me off.

For instance, FTFA: "Its name implies that the country's richest institution is run with federal oversight. But according to author David Graeber's book Debt, "The Federal Reserve -- despite its name -- is technically not part of the government but a consortium of privately owned banks which otherwise operates without public oversight." The Fed's only government oversight is that the fact that the President appoints its Chairman"

What follows the bold words, is complete fact. If you read this paragraph the tone implies that "this whack-job alleges that The Federal Reserve is technically not a part of the government", and it isn't a part of the government, and everyone is taught this in high-school. It's a private corporation. Not going to bite on the other parts of this, but that is all legitimate.
Why is that worded so that you immediately dismiss that factual information, as if it is kook-talk?

You know how when you read a post from a fark troll and they start with asking you to agree to a fact before they lead you off the rails? It's like that. Slam the door when they try the old "foot in the door" technique.

rob.d: Fort Knox, ha, it's for tourists.


Disagrees.

Clash City Farker: Did you know the Andrew Jackson had pirates in his army at the Battle of New Orleans?

/badass



Jewish pirates, no less.

Clash City Farker: Andrew Jackson is America's greatest President.

HA, troll

FirstNationalBastard: Andrew Jackson was assassinated?

Did someone steal Obama's magical time machine and change history again?

Forget it... he's rolling.

iron de havilland: Fark Rye For Many Whores: "announcing the birth of a new secular order on this earth."

Learn Latin, morans.

Et tu, Brute?

Novus ordo seclorum="New Order of the Ages"

God damn it. Ok so, I don't really understand any differences between stages of Latin's development but I play one on the interwebs.

/kai su teknon
//go ahead
///i am ready
////what's wrong with my koine
//that's koine right?

Fark Rye For Many Whores:
/kai su teknon
//go ahead
///i am ready
////what's wrong with my koine
//that's koine right?

What has happened to my slash skills.

Jackson was assassinated about as much as Ford was.

The Men Who Killed Kennady was a very good series, it makes sense why LBJ killed him.

It was because of the electric car!

/obscure

Fano: Clash City Farker: Andrew Jackson is America's greatest President.

James k Polk.

Millard Fillmore.

"Or that some of the statues written to enforce the amendment indicate the payment of income tax is voluntary"

Lost interest about there.

KrispyKritter: Three times I voted Jackson, thinking him bullet-proof. He just had that cockiness, I liked him.

Actually the gold WAS in the basement of the WTC. The Tower Takedowns and the murder of thousands on 911 were cover for the biggest heist in history, orchestrated by the Rothschilds, planned by an un-named Muslim/Kenyan community activist out of Chicago, implemented by Dick Cheney, and transported by a fleet of North Korean nuclear submarines through a secret underground water channel via Agartha. The gold is now being stored in a secret Illuminati Bank in the Himalayas, in Nepal. These are true facts.

Snarky Acronym: Most of the gold is in the basement of the Federal Reserve Bank in Manhattan, not Fort Knox.

Hrmph! The Conspiracy is everywhere. It made my post appear with the wrong source post, simply to try to invalidate the facts. Once again:

Actually the gold WAS in the basement of the WTC. The Tower Takedowns and the murder of thousands on 911 were cover for the biggest heist in history, orchestrated by the Rothschilds, planned by an un-named Muslim/Kenyan community activist out of Chicago, implemented by Dick Cheney, and transported by a fleet of North Korean nuclear submarines through a secret underground water channel via Agartha. The gold is now being stored in a secret Illuminati Bank in the Himalayas, in Nepal. These are true facts.

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: Actually the gold WAS in the basement of the WTC. The Tower Takedowns and the murder of thousands on 911 were cover for the biggest heist in history, orchestrated by the Rothschilds, planned by an un-named Muslim/Kenyan community activist out of Chicago, implemented by Dick Cheney, and transported by a fleet of North Korean nuclear submarines through a secret underground water channel via Agartha. The gold is now being stored in a secret Illuminati Bank in the Himalayas, in Nepal. These are true facts.

That is a thing of beauty right there. If only you could have fit the Reptilians and the Masons in somehow.

GoSurfing: Not to get all herpy derpy here, but damn this article pisses me off.

For instance, FTFA: "Its name implies that the country's richest institution is run with federal oversight. But according to author David Graeber's book Debt, "The Federal Reserve -- despite its name -- is technically not part of the government but a consortium of privately owned banks which otherwise operates without public oversight." The Fed's only government oversight is that the fact that the President appoints its Chairman"

What follows the bold words, is complete fact. If you read this paragraph the tone implies that "this whack-job alleges that The Federal Reserve is technically not a part of the government", and it isn't a part of the government, and everyone is taught this in high-school. It's a private corporation. Not going to bite on the other parts of this, but that is all legitimate.
Why is that worded so that you immediately dismiss that factual information, as if it is kook-talk?

Good catch.