Isn't it ironic?

Happiness & Cyanide

oh, and subby, he didn't die the day after 'winning' the lottery. he died the day after the state issued him his check.

He won sometime in June, the state issued his check July 19, he died July 20.

better article

Next time, he'll hire a taster.

RedPhoenix122: Isn't it ironic?

It's like goin' crazy when you're already nuts.

To be poisoned

...isn't new.

First rule of winning the lotto: Don't tell the wife!

Follow the money

Did he just turn 98?

Indubitably: ...isn't new.

It's 42.

He wins a million dollars, but after taxes he get less than half a mil? Nice racket the state runs.

/Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

RedPhoenix122: Isn't it ironic?

It's like RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI IIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNN on your wedding day!

If ever there was a place where the "Ironic" tag should have been used, this was it. Disappointing, subby.

FTFA: The coroner initially determined Khan died of natural causes, but family members expressed concerns and the coroner investigated further, The Tribune reported.
Autopsy results came back in December showing fatal levels of cyanide in Khan's body, the paper said, and his death how now been deemed a murder.

Sounds like a case for Gil and the former stripper.

calbert: He won sometime in June, the state issued his check July 19, he died July 20.

I like how the coroner at first said it was natural causes. Um, yeah sparky let's rub two brain cells together and try and figure out why that's probably not the case.

skinink: He wins a million dollars, but after taxes he get less than half a mil? Nice racket the state runs.

/Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

yeah, when he got the ticket, he was -2 dollars and afterward; he had +424,447.60 dollars. What a gyp!

Sources told the Tribune Khan's recent cash windfall hasn't been ruled out as a motive for his murder.

Those sources sound slanted.
Follow the money.

Can you just get cyanide?

It's times like these when I think of something that - hate to do it but - I compare to gun laws. But hear me out and let's not make this a gun thread, we got enough of those.

Gun laws won't stop criminals from getting guns because they generally don't/can't buy their guns through gun stores. I'm a gun owner and haven't the slightest clue where to buy an illegal gun.

So where the hell does one legally buy cyanide?!?! I mean, they don't ask any questions? Did they fill this guy full of ground up peach pits?

Reminds me of a joke.

A woman walks into a pharmacy and tells the pharmacist she wants to buy a jar of cyanide. He says, "Lady, what the hell do you want cyanide for?"

She says, "My husband is cheating on me and I want to kill him."

The pharmacist says "Jesus, Lady, I can't sell you cyanide to kill your husband! Besides, how do you know he's really cheating on you?"

She replies "Here's a picture of him having sex with your wife!"

"OH! You didn't say you had a prescription"

lelio: I like how the coroner at first said it was natural causes. Um, yeah sparky let's rub two brain cells together and try and figure out why that's probably not the case.

Maybe we should check his bank account for any sudden huge deposits.

FTA:Sources told the Tribune Khan's recent cash windfall hasn't been ruled out as a motive for his murder.

I assume their sources are everyone.

"It's pretty unusual," said Cook County Medical Examiner Stephen Cina, commenting on the rarity of cyanide poisonings."

No sh*t, Sherlock.
I'd be surprised if the Wife is innocent.

Did he live next to Dow chemical?

Girion47: Did he live next to Dow chemical?

To Dow

Indubitably: Girion47: Did he live next to Dow chemical?

To Dow

JK, chemical-Giant, purveyor of plastic and corn.

We joke.

*)

I wouldn't call it unlucky; It's not like this was up to chance.

ModernLuddite: Can you just get cyanide?

Absolutely. And then you put it into a jagged little pill.

I hope he didn't activate the genesis device before he died.

/I need warp speed in three minutes or we're all dead.

lelio: calbert: He won sometime in June, the state issued his check July 19, he died July 20.

I like how the coroner at first said it was natural causes. Um, yeah sparky let's rub two brain cells together and try and figure out why that's probably not the case.

Exposure to cyanide will naturally cause an individual to die.

number8: If ever there was a place where the "Ironic" tag should have been used, this was it. Disappointing, subby.

I submitted this with the ironic tag and a much better headline.

*squinty, hostile eyes @ those responsible
//you know who you are

ModernLuddite: Can you just get cyanide?

$42 on Amazon. Not sure if this is the right stuff, though.

Silver Potassium Cyanide or SPC or Salt Silver or Powder Silver 10 Gram

The product description made my head hurt.

Ironically, his favorite web comic? Cyanide & Happiness

skinink: He wins a million dollars, but after taxes he get less than half a mil? Nice racket the state runs.

That was only partly because of taxes. He accepted a smaller amount by getting a lumpsum rather than installments.

lelio: calbert: He won sometime in June, the state issued his check July 19, he died July 20.

I like how the coroner at first said it was natural causes. Um, yeah sparky let's rub two brain cells together and try and figure out why that's probably not the case.

The coroner might not have been aware that he was dissecting a lottory winner. They look like normal humans you know.

spawn73 is smart.

Aren't most poisonings in Chicago from lead injections? Maybe Hizzonor Rahm a Lahm a Ding Dong should get on the stick and start banning cyanide.

albuquerquehalsey: skinink: He wins a million dollars, but after taxes he get less than half a mil? Nice racket the state runs.

/Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

yeah, when he got the ticket, he was -2 dollars and afterward; he had +424,447.60 dollars. What a gyp!

So someone tells you, you've won a million dollars but then you're with getting less than half? He wins a million, but then they only give him $90,000 but that's fine because he's 90,000 richer? They might as well just give him 500 bucks and tell him to fark off, the way you look at it. He five hundred dollars richer so he's GTG!

AbbeySomeone: number8: If ever there was a place where the "Ironic" tag should have been used, this was it. Disappointing, subby.

I submitted this with the ironic tag and a much better headline.

*squinty, hostile eyes @ those responsible
//you know who you are

This one gets green-lit AND there was a suitable replacement in the Queue? For shame admins, for shame.

All this for just 600 grand. Even if it were for the full million it still would be retarded.

natural causes...checks.....yep chicago...OK

If he'd taken the annuity option, he might be alive today. Let that be a lesson for us all.

skinink: He wins a million dollars, but after taxes he get less than half a mil? Nice racket the state runs.
/Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

It's not like it sucks to be the winner either though; that's $500,000 he didn't have before.

Sounds like karma got to him.

How the hell did you not go with the ironic tag!?!?! What the fark!

...and for what, for a little bit of money. There's more to life than money ya know.

calbert: oh, and subby, he didn't die the day after 'winning' the lottery. he died the day after the state issued him his check.

He won sometime in June, the state issued his check July 19, he died July 20.

better article

After reading that, I'm going to say it was the wife.

That guy sure had bad timing. Better luck next time.

ModernLuddite: Can you just get cyanide?

I thought rat poison was basically cyanide?

AbbeySomeone: number8: If ever there was a place where the "Ironic" tag should have been used, this was it. Disappointing, subby.

I submitted this with the ironic tag and a much better headline.

*squinty, hostile eyes @ those responsible
//you know who you are

You've earned the People's Vote.