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   Stupid people to continue naming their stupid babies after stupid actors with stupid names

19 Jan 2013 08:49 AM   |   10836 clicks   |   Today
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DrPainMD     
I, Kaleb Joshua Holden Atticus Tyler Hudson Pain, and my wife, Brittany Ashley Zooey Dixie Ruby Flora Pain, agree.

19 Jan 2013 06:21 AM
prince of peas     
That is justr stupid.

19 Jan 2013 08:50 AM
prince of peas     
"Just" dammit
/More coffee please

19 Jan 2013 08:51 AM
Nem Wan     
Does naming kids after ancestors not occur to people anymore?

19 Jan 2013 08:57 AM
Subtle_Canary     

Nem Wan: Does naming kids after ancestors not occur to people anymore?


Sure but who wants to go through like as Rachael Douchedóttir?

19 Jan 2013 09:00 AM
coldwindblows     
We changed our last name to Latrine.

19 Jan 2013 09:02 AM
lake_huron     
My son's middle name is Liev for unrelated reasons, but I couldn't help but think that everyone would think it was after Liev Schreiber. Actually after a great-uncle's name.

19 Jan 2013 09:03 AM
ModernLuddite     
My first born shall be named Sir Peter O'Toole Johnson Penispenispenis.

19 Jan 2013 09:06 AM
kimwim     
Neighbor named her kids "Misty Dawn" and "Coral Reef". I thought those were bad enough.

19 Jan 2013 09:11 AM
Theory Of Null     

prince of peas: "Just" dammit
/More coffee please


You shall have no more coffee! it is mine, all mine.

19 Jan 2013 09:12 AM
biglot     
Nursing homes, decades down the road, filled with Kaleb's, Joshua's, Brittany's, Ashley's ...

19 Jan 2013 09:16 AM
NeoBad     
This might give way too much away for some folks.....but my Mom wanted to name me after my Dad's Brother who had just died a few years before and his widow, looking down at me in the crib, and I was born cross eyed and had not had the repair yet, told my Mom, You are not going to name that "xxeadase" baby after him, the doctor...so my Mom, not wanting to cause too much family strife, named me after one of her favorite uncles.

Aunt XXX and I had a great laugh about this when I got out of Medical School, the pie squarely on her face....

19 Jan 2013 09:26 AM
JohnCarter     
Wait...one of the Harry Potter kids is in the Navy now? And an officer no less??

msnbcmedia3.msn.comView Full Size

19 Jan 2013 09:28 AM
SwiftFox     
You might go by your nickname too, if your full name, Armand Hammer, was associated with your famous same-named oil tycoon/philanthropist great-grandfather.

And who got so tired of people asking him if he was associated with Arm&Hammer Baking Soda that he simply bought the company that makes it.

19 Jan 2013 09:29 AM
kittyhas1000legs     
No, NBC, you stupid twat. "Emma" is not a normal name.

/at least it's better than "Campfield"
//it's a girl

19 Jan 2013 09:30 AM
RoyHobbs22     
Chord? I sooner name my child Shart.

19 Jan 2013 09:34 AM
Ooba Tooba    [TotalFark]  
My oh my, all of those actors pictured look fancy in the pants. Is the "I may, or may not prefer to suck a dick" look what all the ladies are after these days?

19 Jan 2013 09:34 AM
mhd     
Kord?

i.imgur.comView Full Size

19 Jan 2013 09:36 AM
phaseolus     

DrPainMD: I, Kaleb Joshua Holden Atticus Tyler Hudson Pain, and my wife, Brittany Ashley Zooey Dixie Ruby Flora Pain, agree.



Wait a minute -- with "Zooey" in there, you must have married an 11 year old.

19 Jan 2013 09:41 AM
FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  

mhd: Kord?

[i.imgur.com image 250x333]


Kord


www.superheroesareawesome.comView Full Size

19 Jan 2013 09:51 AM
mhd     

FirstNationalBastard: mhd: Kord?

Kord


Kord

i.imgur.comView Full Size

19 Jan 2013 09:54 AM
thornhill     
Dear parents, your kids will hold it against you and/or go out of their way not to use the name.

I have a name that while isn't as stupid as these, it's dumb enough and difficult enough for people to pronounce (despite being one syllable) that I go by my last name so much that people who don't know me well think it's my first. I would have greatly preferred a common name like Michael.

19 Jan 2013 10:10 AM
Infobahn    [TotalFark]  
I admit, we named our son because we liked the name of the guy that used to host "The Mole" on ABC. I wonder whatever happened to that guy.

19 Jan 2013 10:11 AM
Fark_Guy_Rob     
Yeah - this is so much more stupid than naming kids after people in a mystical book

19 Jan 2013 10:22 AM
Earpj     
Sometimes, movies ruin a family name. 
My Grandfather was named Forrest. Thanks to the movie, that name is not a viable name anymore, as everyone would think the boy was named for the movie and not the great man who took on 6 kids and raised them as his own.

So, we went with his last name for a daughter, instead. Rose.

/The boy who would be Forrest, runs. He runs cross country, track and plays soccer. 
//We'd be yelling "Run, Forrest!"

19 Jan 2013 10:41 AM
SundaesChild    [TotalFark]  

kimwim: Neighbor named her kids "Misty Dawn" and "Coral Reef". I thought those were bad enough.


I knew two Misty Dawns in grade school. My mom always said they were going to grow up to be strippers. She said that about all the Destinys born in the 90s too.

My kid has a Greco-Roman goddess name and a family surname as a middle name, but if I ever have another kid I am so naming it Benedict Cumberbatch, even if it is a girl. Especially if it is a girl.

19 Jan 2013 10:45 AM
Kriggerel     
This is old news.

I was born in 1971, and nearly half the young girls I went to school with were named Jennifer.

(thanks to 'Love Story').


Now I think of all the kids named Edward, Jacob and Bella and I feel sorry for them.

19 Jan 2013 10:56 AM
d23    [TotalFark]  

JohnCarter: Wait...one of the Harry Potter kids is in the Navy now? And an officer no less??

[msnbcmedia3.msn.com image 320x493]


See the admiralty fringe? It means he has not jurisdiction over your women.

19 Jan 2013 10:57 AM
willicus     
When it came time to name our kid, Mrs. willicus and I had one rule: It must not look stupid on a resumé.

/kid is now 6 days old
//she's the most adorable baby on the planet

19 Jan 2013 11:00 AM
d23    [TotalFark]  

willicus: When it came time to name our kid, Mrs. willicus and I had one rule: It must not look stupid on a resumé.


I understand where you are coming from, but I am not going to let assholes from H.R. determine what I name my kid. They control too much already.

19 Jan 2013 11:13 AM
The Irresponsible Captain     

willicus: When it came time to name our kid, Mrs. willicus and I had one rule: It must not look stupid on a resumé.


Yup. Apples and trees and all.

19 Jan 2013 11:14 AM
Jon H     
Could not read far into the article.

/the names
//the writing style
///anybody named 'puck'?

19 Jan 2013 11:16 AM
FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  
Jon H:
///anybody named 'puck'?

Yes., the son of a nice gay couple named Pedro and Judd

19 Jan 2013 11:18 AM
mhd     
Names? I'm gonna give my kid a GUID.

19 Jan 2013 11:19 AM
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros     

willicus: When it came time to name our kid, Mrs. willicus and I had one rule: It must not look stupid on a resumé.


I knew a guy in college named "River." With a name like that, the poor guy knew he'd never get past HR, and he had to go into acting.

I wonder what happened to him.

19 Jan 2013 11:51 AM
Don't Troll Me Bro!     

Earpj: Sometimes, movies ruin a family name.
My Grandfather was named Forrest. Thanks to the movie, that name is not a viable name anymore, as everyone would think the boy was named for the movie and not the great man who took on 6 kids and raised them as his own.

So, we went with his last name for a daughter, instead. Rose.

/The boy who would be Forrest, runs. He runs cross country, track and plays soccer.
//We'd be yelling "Run, Forrest!"


It'll be good again in two generations. Think Ilsa Lund. You probably don't know what character that was (at least most wouldn't) She was Ingrid Bergman's character in Casablanca. If someone named their kid Ilsa these days nobody would think that she was named after Ilsa Lund, even though it was probably the most famous role, in one of the most famous movies of all time, of one of the greatest female actresses to ever live.

Hell, Rick Blaine was Humphrey Bogart's character in that movie, and you could probably say the same thing about both him and that particular role.

19 Jan 2013 11:55 AM
santadog    [TotalFark]  
All of your kids are named the same thing! RANT

19 Jan 2013 11:57 AM
santadog    [TotalFark]  
"Why don't ya call him Jason? l just love biblical names. If I had another little boy, I'd name him Jason, Caleb or Tab."

19 Jan 2013 12:01 PM
bongo98902     

willicus:

/kid is now 6 days old
//she's the most adorable baby on the planet


Congrats!

19 Jan 2013 12:04 PM
Krieghund     

thornhill: Dear parents, your kids will hold it against you and/or go out of their way not to use the name.

I have a name that while isn't as stupid as these, it's dumb enough and difficult enough for people to pronounce (despite being one syllable) that I go by my last name so much that people who don't know me well think it's my first. I would have greatly preferred a common name like Michael.


The point of the story is that these will be the common names for their generation.

Interestingly, I go by my last name because I have one of the very common names for my generation.

19 Jan 2013 12:09 PM
phuquetarde     
Benedict F*cking Cumberbatch - if you please.

19 Jan 2013 12:24 PM
ArcadianRefugee     

Nem Wan: Does naming kids after ancestors not occur to people anymore?


Well, you can't name them before ancestors....

19 Jan 2013 12:30 PM
felidstar     
We unabashedly named our son after a movie star: Bruce. No, not Bruce Willis. No, not Bruce Lee. No, the excellent, incomparable bearer of the most incredible chin EVER, Bruce Campbell. The topic of a name came up while we were watching Burn Notice, and the Boytoy said "How about Bruce?" I said "I LOVE BRUCE!!!... I mean, I love the name. Obviously. It's not like I have monthly sex-dreams about Bruce Campbell... hahahaa..."

The best thing is that the name is at a natural ebb - names tend to go on 50 or 100 year cycles, and right now all Bruces are 40 or 70.... so our kid is probably going to be the only Bruce of his own age he meets for a while. Since my husband's name was (and remains) so popular that he's been known by a nickname or his last name his entire life to distinguish him form the 3-7 others in his class, scouts, etc., that was important. We've had people try to correct it to "Bryce", but EVERYONE says "Bruce? That's not a name you hear anymore! What a great name!"

19 Jan 2013 12:50 PM
durbnpoisn    [TotalFark]  

Nem Wan: Does naming kids after ancestors not occur to people anymore?


When my son was still a fetus, my wife and I agonized about the name for months. We finally decided on a name that was not an ancestor or any historical figure. That way, he would be just himself. As it turns out, he shares the name of the singer from Jethro Tull. It works.

19 Jan 2013 01:12 PM
Onkel Buck     
Im still waiting for a Lunesta, Boniva, and Valtrexia

/Coming soon to the NFL a wide reciever named Completrius

19 Jan 2013 01:16 PM
ocrapitstexas     
My son has a hyphenated name, which i don't care for... So i am getting a hearty laugh from this.

19 Jan 2013 01:18 PM
Billygoat Gruff     

kimwim: Neighbor named her kids "Misty Dawn" and "Coral Reef". I thought those were bad enough.


My old neighbors named their kid Patience Freedom. Elijah Dale, and Peace Prosperity

/two of them have criminal records

19 Jan 2013 01:20 PM
Valiente     
My kid's named Ed.

Ed The Happy Clown Johnson.

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size

19 Jan 2013 01:32 PM
DrPainMD     

phaseolus: DrPainMD: I, Kaleb Joshua Holden Atticus Tyler Hudson Pain, and my wife, Brittany Ashley Zooey Dixie Ruby Flora Pain, agree.


Wait a minute -- with "Zooey" in there, you must have married an 11 year old.


Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

19 Jan 2013 01:38 PM
LDM90     

NeoBad: This might give way too much away for some folks.....but my Mom wanted to name me after my Dad's Brother who had just died a few years before and his widow, looking down at me in the crib, and I was born cross eyed and had not had the repair yet, told my Mom, You are not going to name that "xxeadase" baby after him, the doctor...so my Mom, not wanting to cause too much family strife, named me after one of her favorite uncles.

Aunt XXX and I had a great laugh about this when I got out of Medical School, the pie squarely on her face....


wat

19 Jan 2013 01:42 PM
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