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   If settling a potential corporate lawsuit with an arm wrestling match is "childish," than Subby never wants to grow up

19 Jan 2013 05:42 PM   |   6613 clicks   |   Cracked
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hoodiowithtudio     
The southwest thing...whats wrong with that?

19 Jan 2013 05:44 PM
Djkb     
You can't be a Toys R Us kid forever.

19 Jan 2013 05:45 PM
23FPB23     
THEN


ffs

19 Jan 2013 05:46 PM
INeedAName     
All international conflict should be solved this way.

19 Jan 2013 05:46 PM
Bonanza Jellybean     
Dana White and the Fertittas have in their contracts that any disputes over the direction of the company (ZUFFA, which owns and operates the UFC) will be settled by a grappling match.

19 Jan 2013 05:47 PM
SpdrJay     
Yeah, but eventually all CEOs will be big, smelly biker-types instead of bloated psychopathic white guys...

19 Jan 2013 05:47 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     
Oh, subby, that is *so* over the top.

19 Jan 2013 05:48 PM
FloydA    [TotalFark]  
The word "Than" is comparative.  For example: "Subby is less literate than a baboon."

The word "Then" is conditional.  For example: "First, Subby wrote this headline,  then I mocked his marginal literacy.

It's really not that hard.

19 Jan 2013 05:49 PM
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
Christie's sought advice on the matter (from kids within the company) and were told to choose scissors, because "Everybody expects you to choose rock."

I played rock-paper-scissors for trivial stakes with a man who I knew to be an excellent poker player and venture capital big shot. He tried to influence my choice by telling me something like, beginners always choose rock. I went with rock anyway and won.

19 Jan 2013 05:49 PM
Allen. The end.     
Hmm...suddenly they hired (fill-in-the-blank-wrestler) to head up HR! Kooky, innit?

19 Jan 2013 05:54 PM
kroonermanblack     

Bonanza Jellybean: Dana White and the Fertittas have in their contracts that any disputes over the direction of the company (ZUFFA, which owns and operates the UFC) will be settled by a grappling match.


Ya, how shocking that a company built on wrestling and image has released a statement that says 'we will wrestle' about something.

Like totally Rick Flair up in this biatch mang.

19 Jan 2013 06:04 PM
brandent     

FloydA: The word "Than" is comparative.  For example: "Subby is less literate than a baboon."

The word "Then" is conditional.  For example: "First, Subby wrote this headline,  then I mocked his marginal literacy.

It's really not that hard.


So subby never grew up? Win win.

19 Jan 2013 06:08 PM
rickane58     

FloydA: The word "Than" is comparative.  For example: "Subby is less literate than a baboon."

The word "Then" is conditional.  For example: "First, Subby wrote this headline,  then I mocked his marginal literacy.

It's really not that hard.


I prefer the old mnemonic: I'd rather have sex then masturbate.

19 Jan 2013 06:17 PM
ExcaliburPrime111     
Arm wrestling used to be something done fairly regularly as little as a couple of decades ago. Nowadays, if you challenge someone (even a friend) to an arm wrestle, you are treated like a lunatic.

Same thing for regular wrestling between friends. It seems that despite the liberality and openness of the times, young men are hypersensitive to the "gay" label (NTTAWWT), to an unhealthy extreme.

19 Jan 2013 06:21 PM
Can't_Think_Of_A_Name     

SpdrJay: Yeah, but eventually all CEOs will be big, smelly biker-types instead of bloated psychopathic white guys...


You say that like it's a bad thing. I say we give the smelly bikers a chance on top.

19 Jan 2013 06:21 PM
LoneWolf343     

ExcaliburPrime111: Arm wrestling used to be something done fairly regularly as little as a couple of decades ago. Nowadays, if you challenge someone (even a friend) to an arm wrestle, you are treated like a lunatic.

Same thing for regular wrestling between friends. It seems that despite the liberality and openness of the times, young men are hypersensitive to the "gay" label (NTTAWWT), to an unhealthy extreme.


You mean, they aren't as driven to conform to arbitrary definitions of "manliness."

19 Jan 2013 06:55 PM
Gyrfalcon     
I dunno...wouldn't it be better to do it this way than drag everyone into court for years and years, spend millions of dollars on corporate lawyers, and in the end solve nothing? Why NOT solve it with a three round winner-take-all arm wrestling match?

19 Jan 2013 07:03 PM
Mock26    [TotalFark]  
I love the Southwest Airlines story, especially because the CEO of Southwest lost, but his opponent still decided to let Southwest use the slogan.

19 Jan 2013 07:46 PM
KrispyKritter     

INeedAName: All international conflict should be solved this way.


i agree with you & Subby. it's wealthy Daddy Warbucks types that gladly fill young people full of patriotic propaganda punch and send them off to die. most every day people just want peace and to get along. i hope some day people biatch slap governments war lust right off the planet.

19 Jan 2013 08:32 PM
EngineerAU     

ExcaliburPrime111: Arm wrestling used to be something done fairly regularly as little as a couple of decades ago. Nowadays, if you challenge someone (even a friend) to an arm wrestle, you are treated like a lunatic.

Same thing for regular wrestling between friends. It seems that despite the liberality and openness of the times, young men are hypersensitive to the "gay" label (NTTAWWT), to an unhealthy extreme.


Arm wrestling died in 1987. Link

19 Jan 2013 08:48 PM
FloydA    [TotalFark]  

Gyrfalcon: I dunno...wouldn't it be better to do it this way than drag everyone into court for years and years, spend millions of dollars on corporate lawyers, and in the end solve nothing? Why NOT solve it with a three round winner-take-all arm wrestling match?


Do I have the option of greasing them all up first?  Do I have the option of selection of the warehouse in which the battle takes place?  Am I allowed to lock the doors from the outside, so that none of the contestants or the audience can escape when I decide to cleanse...

...I've said too much

19 Jan 2013 09:07 PM
ciberido    [TotalFark]  

FloydA: The word "Than" is comparative.  For example: "Subby is less literate than a baboon."

The word "Then" is conditional.  For example: "First, Subby wrote this headline,  then I mocked his marginal literacy.

It's really not that hard.


"Then" as a conditional would have a different example, such as "If you put too much sriracha on your eggs, then your mouth will burst into flames."

In the example you gave, "First, Subby wrote this headline,  then I mocked his marginal literacy," the "then" is a conjunctive adverb.

19 Jan 2013 09:31 PM
Mad_Radhu     
You have to admit, it's a little over the top.

19 Jan 2013 09:40 PM
Gyrfalcon     

FloydA: Gyrfalcon: I dunno...wouldn't it be better to do it this way than drag everyone into court for years and years, spend millions of dollars on corporate lawyers, and in the end solve nothing? Why NOT solve it with a three round winner-take-all arm wrestling match?

Do I have the option of greasing them all up first?  Do I have the option of selection of the warehouse in which the battle takes place?  Am I allowed to lock the doors from the outside, so that none of the contestants or the audience can escape when I decide to cleanse...

...I've said too much


No no, do go on. Is the oil flavored or spicy?

19 Jan 2013 10:32 PM
Mad_Radhu     

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Oh, subby, that is *so* over the top.


Dammit, missed that comment when I read through the thread quickly on my phone.

19 Jan 2013 10:42 PM
Tiiba     

INeedAName: All international conflict should be solved this way.


You picked paper! I picked scissors! Now you and your children and your children's children shall be our voiceless slaves until the end of time!

19 Jan 2013 11:43 PM
crabsno termites     
Submit that the best way to settle international disputes is bare naked, hand to hand, unarmed, to the death combat between heads of state. How many lives would we save?

/Very bitter vietnam vet.

20 Jan 2013 01:31 AM
Gyrfalcon     

crabsno termites: Submit that the best way to settle international disputes is bare naked, hand to hand, unarmed, to the death combat between heads of state. How many lives would we save?

/Very bitter vietnam vet.


None, if these douchebags insisted on having seconds.

(By seconds I mean "seconds' in the dueling sense of the term)

20 Jan 2013 05:45 AM
seancakes     
28 Day Slater?

Link

20 Jan 2013 09:27 PM
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