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   Canadian man arrested after trying to sneak into the U.S. using a stolen canoe and a shovel.... YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

19 Jan 2013 06:49 PM   |   5046 clicks   |   Daily Mail
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Kaydub     
Are you saying he should have dug a tunnel under the Niagara River using the canoe to haul the dirt from the hole?

19 Jan 2013 04:55 PM
LordOfThePings     
But how will he get the fox, the chicken, and the bag of grain across?

19 Jan 2013 05:08 PM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     
Get on TV, they drag you across even if you don't want in.

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19 Jan 2013 05:13 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     
He should've disguised himself as a really big Tim Hortons donut.

No one would have suspected a *thing.*

19 Jan 2013 05:52 PM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  

Kaydub: Are you saying he should have dug a tunnel under the Niagara River using the canoe to haul the dirt from the hole?


Maybe subby is just surprised that anyone would try to escape from Canada's socialist utopia?

19 Jan 2013 06:29 PM
TorqueToad     
I TOLD them they should start building the Great Northern Wall, but NO ONE listened.

19 Jan 2013 06:55 PM
SwiftFox     
With no paddle

19 Jan 2013 06:56 PM
Quantum Apostrophe     
Was he an insurance salesman before the tragic thing with the lightning?

www.internationalhero.co.ukView Full Size

19 Jan 2013 06:57 PM
LoneWolf343     

fusillade762: Kaydub: Are you saying he should have dug a tunnel under the Niagara River using the canoe to haul the dirt from the hole?

Maybe subby is just surprised that anyone would try to escape from Canada's socialist utopia?


Maybe he was a fugitive, drug-runner, or someone with nefarious intentions in the country. TFA is really short on details.

19 Jan 2013 07:01 PM
Gyrfalcon     
Paddling with a shovel? Did he think he was Daffy Duck or something?

19 Jan 2013 07:02 PM
numbone     
Shuffle Shovel off to Buffalo

19 Jan 2013 07:02 PM
netcentric     
By Canadian standards...this guy's operation was well above average.

/canoe
//shovel

19 Jan 2013 07:04 PM
jim32rr    [TotalFark]  
Ask a Mexican

19 Jan 2013 07:09 PM
sloshed_again     
He wanted become an Eagle.

Go from On The Border to The Hotel California

19 Jan 2013 07:10 PM
natmar_76     
Filthy snowbacks, coming to take our jobs

19 Jan 2013 07:15 PM
Ishkur    [TotalFark]  
Not in Canada you're not.

19 Jan 2013 07:16 PM
WelldeadLink    [TotalFark]  
You don't bring shovel-ready jobs to the U.S.

19 Jan 2013 07:17 PM
Day_Old_Dutchie     
img96.imageshack.usView Full Size

Niagara-on-the falls?
NIAGARA ON THE FALLS?

It's NIAGARA ON THE LAKE, you Daily Fail dummies. Learn to read your maps.

19 Jan 2013 07:21 PM
Nem Wan     
So what? Every Canadian could enter the U.S. and it would only increase the U.S. population 10%. If he's not a terrorist, catch and release.

19 Jan 2013 07:25 PM
Robert Farker     

numbone: Shuffle Shovel off to Buffalo


Ishkur: Not in Canada you're not.


This and This

What's this headline all aboot anyway? It's obvious he was just borrowing the canoe and shovel.

19 Jan 2013 07:28 PM
sloshed_again     
They will give him a ride back.
Have a nice ride.

19 Jan 2013 07:32 PM
Oblio13     
Canada, even your wetbacks are adorable.

19 Jan 2013 07:34 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     
I love it when cutlines don't match graphics. Lake? Falls? Whatever.

And those aren't canoes. They're Saint Lawrence river skiffs.

19 Jan 2013 07:46 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     
Is paddling a canoe with a shovel the new metaphor for making love to Lindsay Lohan?

19 Jan 2013 07:48 PM
StreetlightInTheGhetto     
My SO's grandparents have a boat on the Detroit River. I asked them how customs worked when they went to Canada ... they just call in w their boat and all passengers (from the Canadian dock iirc). Since Customs knows them they almost always get a green light without anyone from Customs stopping by. And even though a stupid DHS SUV is always parked within eyesight of their slip on the US side I've *never* seen them actually question any of the mostly retiree boat club members, even folks who told us they went to Canada for dinner.

Now if you *wanted* to smuggle stuff/people back and forth, didnt want to go Prarie Provinces land crossing, and found someone with a long history of traveling across the border uneventfully by boat...

/hold up knock at the door

19 Jan 2013 07:48 PM
Lanadapter     
That only works if your name is Jesus and you're entering via a border further south

19 Jan 2013 07:50 PM
StreetlightInTheGhetto     

Oblio13: Canada, even your wetbacks are adorable.


Aww, this.

We were listening to CBC at work and the local news (Windsor) had a story about a 2 car accident and an attempted but failed burglary.

We all awwwed together, then got kinda depressed/quiet. Because even though lots of people (Canadian, Colbert) make fun of Windsor, that was the ONLY local crime/accident news they had to even report.

They even gave a description of the *attempted* burglars.

Oh, Canada.

19 Jan 2013 07:54 PM
Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo     
Unless he planned to do some mid-stream shoveling.

19 Jan 2013 07:58 PM
WhippingBoy     
Perhaps he heard that in the United States, you could make love in a canoe.

19 Jan 2013 08:02 PM
wrenchboy     

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Unless he planned to do some mid-stream shoveling.


He might have just been fishing. How else are you supposed to catch a steel head trout with anything but a shovel?

19 Jan 2013 08:13 PM
SpdrJay     
I laughed at the man who had no paddle to move his canoe until I met the man who had no smartphone to post snarky comments on Fark.

19 Jan 2013 08:16 PM
elk-tamer     

Quantum Apostrophe: Was he an insurance salesman before the tragic thing with the lightning?

[www.internationalhero.co.uk image 174x180]


Exactly, I was wondering if he got caught mid portage.

19 Jan 2013 08:16 PM
bmr68     

Nem Wan: So what? Every Canadian could enter the U.S. and it would only increase the U.S. population 10%. If he's not a terrorist, catch and release.


He will be processed, arraigned, found guilty for entering the U.S. illegally, barred from the U.S. for at least 7-10 years and then deported.

19 Jan 2013 08:21 PM
Ego edo infantia cattus     
Yeah, what an idiot. He was going the wrong way.

19 Jan 2013 08:24 PM
lar_m     
damn snowback toque wearin backbacon poutin smuggler...

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19 Jan 2013 08:24 PM
Slu     

StreetlightInTheGhetto: Oblio13: Canada, even your wetbacks are adorable.

Aww, this.

We were listening to CBC at work and the local news (Windsor) had a story about a 2 car accident and an attempted but failed burglary.

We all awwwed together, then got kinda depressed/quiet. Because even though lots of people (Canadian, Colbert) make fun of Windsor, that was the ONLY local crime/accident news they had to even report.

They even gave a description of the *attempted* burglars.

Oh, Canada.


Watch the Toronto local news. Just like NYC news. Crime. Shootings, etc.

19 Jan 2013 08:28 PM
maxis_mydog     

wrenchboy: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Unless he planned to do some mid-stream shoveling.

He might have just been fishing. How else are you supposed to catch a steel head trout with anything but a shovel?


Magnet?

19 Jan 2013 08:28 PM
HighOnCraic     
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Unimpressed.

19 Jan 2013 08:29 PM
Mutt Farkinov     
We only want illegals that have the moxy to make it.

/being white considered a plus

19 Jan 2013 08:30 PM
johnperkins     
yorkshiretimes.co.ukView Full Size


...does not approve.

19 Jan 2013 08:41 PM
Cerebral Knievel    [TotalFark]  
I've seen this documentry before...

spotted fleeing the scene

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19 Jan 2013 08:54 PM
lar_m     

Mutt Farkinov: We only want illegals that have the moxy to make it.

/being white considered a plus



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We want You to Invade US!

19 Jan 2013 08:57 PM
passthedutchie     

StreetlightInTheGhetto: My SO's grandparents have a boat on the Detroit River. I asked them how customs worked when they went to Canada ... they just call in w their boat and all passengers (from the Canadian dock iirc). Since Customs knows them they almost always get a green light without anyone from Customs stopping by. And even though a stupid DHS SUV is always parked within eyesight of their slip on the US side I've *never* seen them actually question any of the mostly retiree boat club members, even folks who told us they went to Canada for dinner.

Now if you *wanted* to smuggle stuff/people back and forth, didnt want to go Prarie Provinces land crossing, and found someone with a long history of traveling across the border uneventfully by boat...

/hold up knock at the door



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19 Jan 2013 09:01 PM
lar_m     

passthedutchie: StreetlightInTheGhetto: My SO's grandparents have a boat on the Detroit River. I asked them how customs worked when they went to Canada ... they just call in w their boat and all passengers (from the Canadian dock iirc). Since Customs knows them they almost always get a green light without anyone from Customs stopping by. And even though a stupid DHS SUV is always parked within eyesight of their slip on the US side I've *never* seen them actually question any of the mostly retiree boat club members, even folks who told us they went to Canada for dinner.

Now if you *wanted* to smuggle stuff/people back and forth, didnt want to go Prarie Provinces land crossing, and found someone with a long history of traveling across the border uneventfully by boat...

/hold up knock at the door


[2.bp.blogspot.com image 450x287]

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19 Jan 2013 09:22 PM
This poster says     
Question:

If someone lives in severe poverty (or "isn't worth a pot to piss in" as the adage goes) and attempts to cross unlawfully into the US from Canada, what does the either the American or Canadian government do with them? (That is, assuming they didn't do anything illegal other than crossing) Slap them on the hand and turn them free? Prosecute them? Take their picture and put it on the wall like Disneyland? Either way, it seems a pointless lose/lose scenario, right?

19 Jan 2013 09:34 PM
cedarpark     
The press were forced to 'spin' the truth.

It was actually an invasion by the Canadian Navy.

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19 Jan 2013 09:45 PM
cedarpark     
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19 Jan 2013 09:48 PM
illannoyin     
i53.photobucket.comView Full Size


Not impressed


/Link

19 Jan 2013 09:59 PM
Oldiron_79     

illannoyin: Not impressed

/Link


Hes not obscure to me

19 Jan 2013 10:33 PM
shortymac     

Slu: StreetlightInTheGhetto: Oblio13: Canada, even your wetbacks are adorable.

Aww, this.

We were listening to CBC at work and the local news (Windsor) had a story about a 2 car accident and an attempted but failed burglary.

We all awwwed together, then got kinda depressed/quiet. Because even though lots of people (Canadian, Colbert) make fun of Windsor, that was the ONLY local crime/accident news they had to even report.

They even gave a description of the *attempted* burglars.

Oh, Canada.

Watch the Toronto local news. Just like NYC news. Crime. Shootings, etc.


Eh Toronto only had 2 major shootings this year, both gang related, and everyone FREAKED the fark out. As an American, I found it slightly odd, most shootings don't make it to the local news in the states.

19 Jan 2013 11:06 PM
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