Pussy. My wife once opened a 3-stich gash in my head with a water glass because I hogged the covers.

As she was bodily tossed into the squad car, she reportedly screamed, "Motherfarking blanket ssssssssnatcher had it coming!"

Yikes. What would be the penalty for farting? I'd be afraid to find out.

WhippingBoy: Pussy. My wife once opened a 3-stich gash in my head with a water glass because I hogged the covers.

I hope you meant ex-wife.

davidphogan: WhippingBoy: Pussy. My wife once opened a 3-stich gash in my head with a water glass because I hogged the covers.

I hope you meant ex-wife.

No, they're still married. Otherwise, he wouldn't refer to himself as WhippingBoy. He likes it when she does that shiat. Hurts so good.

Mark Ratner: davidphogan: WhippingBoy: Pussy. My wife once opened a 3-stich gash in my head with a water glass because I hogged the covers.

I hope you meant ex-wife.

No, they're still married. Otherwise, he wouldn't refer to himself as WhippingBoy. He likes it when she does that shiat. Hurts so good.

I'd like to offer up an alternate theory. He's still married because if he divorces her, she'll get everything and he'll live impoverished and miserable while the crazy biatch will be happy. By staying married, he's still miserable, but so is she.

My wife and I like to snuggle before sleeping, but we're both notorious blanket hogs, so we each have our own. Thus farm no choking has occurred

Meh, she was obviously drunk out of her mind. Alcohol should be illegal.

No, this is what happens when you try to take the covers back.

Mega Steve: My wife and I like to snuggle before sleeping, but we're both notorious blanket hogs, so we each have our own. Thus farm no choking has occurred

This.

I'm single but I learned this as well keep two blankets on my bed both for snuggling then when its actually sleeping time we each get our own.

/every chick I know is a blanket hog
//its science

Easy solution, ban blankets.

He's lucky he didn't try the Dutch Oven.

I was wondering how this could happen till I looked at the pic...obviously, when you're too poor/stupid to buy two blankets, things like this will continue to happen.

LoneWolf343: No, this is what happens when you try to take the covers back.

My wife often ends up wrapping herself up like a mummy, leaving me with one tiny corner that I pathetically try to cover my shoulder with. If I try to unwrap her to get my fair share, it usually results in a backhand to the face. I just go to bed fully dressed now to stay warm.

One good turn will get you most of the blankets.

belhade: LoneWolf343: No, this is what happens when you try to take the covers back.

My wife often ends up wrapping herself up like a mummy, leaving me with one tiny corner that I pathetically try to cover my shoulder with. If I try to unwrap her to get my fair share, it usually results in a backhand to the face. I just go to bed fully dressed now to stay warm.

You could buy more blankets. Costco has them on sale.

Fark Dupp: One good turn will get you most of the blankets.

Yup -- the trick is to grab the edge and roll towards it so the blanket wraps under you and around your body. (so all your weight is holding it) Then fall into an incredibly deep sleep. If you are woken because someone wants some blankets just mumble incoherently and continue rolling farther in the same direction. Fall back to sleep.

Normally i sleep naked with blankets just covering my stomach and my junk... but sometimes the wife likes the bedroom freaking cold. She has to deal with the consequences...

The last time we changed the decor of our bedroom and the wife wanted a new comforter for our bed to match, I insisted we buy king size for our queen size bed. Not only did it fit the bed better because we have a high sitting bed with a tall mattress, but totally solved the covers hogging problem. Now she can get back to just hitting me the way I like.

Victimless crime

A man met a floozy named Rucker
Gave her some booze and then fu(ked her
Tried to roll over with all of the covers
Now he's a non breathing sucker

Is that assault or foreplay?

generallyso: Is that assault or foreplay?

Both.

Gyrfalcon: belhade: LoneWolf343: No, this is what happens when you try to take the covers back.

My wife often ends up wrapping herself up like a mummy, leaving me with one tiny corner that I pathetically try to cover my shoulder with. If I try to unwrap her to get my fair share, it usually results in a backhand to the face. I just go to bed fully dressed now to stay warm.

You could buy more blankets. Costco has them on sale.

We tried that. She kept wrapping up the second one, too. Gave it up when she got tangled and panicked early one morning.