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   Hogging the covers? That's a chokin'

25 Jan 2013 08:40 PM   |   3012 clicks   |   WWAY 3 Wilmington
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WhippingBoy     
Pussy. My wife once opened a 3-stich gash in my head with a water glass because I hogged the covers.

25 Jan 2013 08:43 PM
Apos     
As she was bodily tossed into the squad car, she reportedly screamed, "Motherfarking blanket ssssssssnatcher had it coming!"

25 Jan 2013 08:43 PM
geekbikerskum     
Yikes. What would be the penalty for farting? I'd be afraid to find out.

25 Jan 2013 08:45 PM
davidphogan     

WhippingBoy: Pussy. My wife once opened a 3-stich gash in my head with a water glass because I hogged the covers.


I hope you meant ex-wife.

25 Jan 2013 08:50 PM
Mark Ratner     

davidphogan: WhippingBoy: Pussy. My wife once opened a 3-stich gash in my head with a water glass because I hogged the covers.

I hope you meant ex-wife.


No, they're still married. Otherwise, he wouldn't refer to himself as WhippingBoy. He likes it when she does that shiat. Hurts so good.

25 Jan 2013 08:54 PM
OgreMagi    [TotalFark]  

Mark Ratner: davidphogan: WhippingBoy: Pussy. My wife once opened a 3-stich gash in my head with a water glass because I hogged the covers.

I hope you meant ex-wife.

No, they're still married. Otherwise, he wouldn't refer to himself as WhippingBoy. He likes it when she does that shiat. Hurts so good.


I'd like to offer up an alternate theory. He's still married because if he divorces her, she'll get everything and he'll live impoverished and miserable while the crazy biatch will be happy. By staying married, he's still miserable, but so is she.

25 Jan 2013 09:01 PM
Mega Steve     
My wife and I like to snuggle before sleeping, but we're both notorious blanket hogs, so we each have our own. Thus farm no choking has occurred

25 Jan 2013 09:06 PM
vodka     
Meh, she was obviously drunk out of her mind. Alcohol should be illegal.

25 Jan 2013 09:06 PM
LoneWolf343     
No, this is what happens when you try to take the covers back.

25 Jan 2013 09:14 PM
Silentbob768768     

Mega Steve: My wife and I like to snuggle before sleeping, but we're both notorious blanket hogs, so we each have our own. Thus farm no choking has occurred


This.

I'm single but I learned this as well keep two blankets on my bed both for snuggling then when its actually sleeping time we each get our own.

/every chick I know is a blanket hog
//its science

25 Jan 2013 09:22 PM
mizchief     
Easy solution, ban blankets.

25 Jan 2013 09:23 PM
The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves     
He's lucky he didn't try the Dutch Oven.

25 Jan 2013 09:28 PM
Gyrfalcon     
I was wondering how this could happen till I looked at the pic...obviously, when you're too poor/stupid to buy two blankets, things like this will continue to happen.

25 Jan 2013 09:35 PM
belhade     

LoneWolf343: No, this is what happens when you try to take the covers back.


My wife often ends up wrapping herself up like a mummy, leaving me with one tiny corner that I pathetically try to cover my shoulder with. If I try to unwrap her to get my fair share, it usually results in a backhand to the face. I just go to bed fully dressed now to stay warm.

25 Jan 2013 09:40 PM
Fark Dupp     
One good turn will get you most of the blankets.

25 Jan 2013 09:50 PM
Gyrfalcon     

belhade: LoneWolf343: No, this is what happens when you try to take the covers back.

My wife often ends up wrapping herself up like a mummy, leaving me with one tiny corner that I pathetically try to cover my shoulder with. If I try to unwrap her to get my fair share, it usually results in a backhand to the face. I just go to bed fully dressed now to stay warm.


You could buy more blankets. Costco has them on sale.

25 Jan 2013 10:02 PM
mikefinch     

Fark Dupp: One good turn will get you most of the blankets.


Yup -- the trick is to grab the edge and roll towards it so the blanket wraps under you and around your body. (so all your weight is holding it) Then fall into an incredibly deep sleep. If you are woken because someone wants some blankets just mumble incoherently and continue rolling farther in the same direction. Fall back to sleep.

Normally i sleep naked with blankets just covering my stomach and my junk... but sometimes the wife likes the bedroom freaking cold. She has to deal with the consequences...

25 Jan 2013 10:16 PM
lack of warmth     
The last time we changed the decor of our bedroom and the wife wanted a new comforter for our bed to match, I insisted we buy king size for our queen size bed. Not only did it fit the bed better because we have a high sitting bed with a tall mattress, but totally solved the covers hogging problem. Now she can get back to just hitting me the way I like.

25 Jan 2013 10:53 PM
HaywoodJablonski    [TotalFark]  
Victimless crime

26 Jan 2013 03:41 AM
Ooba Tooba     
A man met a floozy named Rucker
Gave her some booze and then fu(ked her
Tried to roll over with all of the covers
Now he's a non breathing sucker

26 Jan 2013 07:01 AM
generallyso     
Is that assault or foreplay?

26 Jan 2013 07:14 AM
LoneWolf343     

generallyso: Is that assault or foreplay?


Both.

27 Jan 2013 05:15 PM
belhade     

Gyrfalcon: belhade: LoneWolf343: No, this is what happens when you try to take the covers back.

My wife often ends up wrapping herself up like a mummy, leaving me with one tiny corner that I pathetically try to cover my shoulder with. If I try to unwrap her to get my fair share, it usually results in a backhand to the face. I just go to bed fully dressed now to stay warm.

You could buy more blankets. Costco has them on sale.


We tried that. She kept wrapping up the second one, too. Gave it up when she got tangled and panicked early one morning.

28 Jan 2013 03:24 AM
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