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   If you picked "5 days" as the answer to "How long does it take a Detroit jail to realize that one of their prisoners has gone missing?" step forward and claim your prize

26 Jan 2013 07:00 PM   |   4294 clicks   |   ABC
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Kumana Wanalaia     
Andy Dufresne, the man who crawled through 500 feet of foulness I can't even imagine, and came out clean on the other side.

Why he chose enchilada night, I'll never know.

26 Jan 2013 07:05 PM
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studebaker hoch     
I would break out of Detroit into jail.

26 Jan 2013 07:08 PM
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JohnAnnArbor    [TotalFark]  
Actually, that's quite a bit faster than I'd guess. This is a town where the official reaction to a bus that drove 6 miles past the city limits before the driver noticed was "Hey-great maintenance, look how far it went!" This is the town where the firefighters parked a new fire truck across railroad tracks, then were surprised when it was destroyed by a train.

26 Jan 2013 07:08 PM
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Glancing Blow     
Here in Eugene Oregon we usually release them before five days since we reduced our "beds" from about 400 beds to 125; budget cuts.

26 Jan 2013 07:09 PM
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apoptotic     
I'm curious about the prisoner who traded wristbands with him. Did he do it because if he was released he had nowhere to go and didn't want to freeze on the streets, did he do it because he was threatened, or is he just really really dumb?

26 Jan 2013 07:15 PM
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davidphogan     

studebaker hoch: I would break out of Detroit into jail.


I'm sure the first item on his checklist after getting out of jail was to get out of Detroit.

26 Jan 2013 07:16 PM
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Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  

Glancing Blow: Here in Eugene Oregon we usually release them before five days since we reduced our "beds" from about 400 beds to 125; budget cuts.


Yep. Remember the guy they released that went on to rob a bank less than an hour of getting out of jail?

He wasn't even supposed to be released since he was on parole. They were supposed to wait until the jail received authorization, but someone dropped the ball. He's got a federal hold on him now.

26 Jan 2013 07:35 PM
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marius2    [TotalFark]  

apoptotic: I'm curious about the prisoner who traded wristbands with him. Did he do it because if he was released he had nowhere to go and didn't want to freeze on the streets, did he do it because he was threatened, or is he just really really dumb?


This. That must be a major felony.

26 Jan 2013 07:38 PM
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MichiganFTL     
With the amount of police in Detroit, you have to be pretty slow/dumb to get caught in the first place and there's no shortage of people up here deserving of his bed. So we'll just throw our hat on the ground jump up and down and shake our fist, the business as usual (which isn't much)

26 Jan 2013 07:38 PM
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GeneralJim     
DETROIT: The U.S. major city with the longest streak of uninterrupted Democratic control. Detroit is your future.

files.myopera.com

cmsimg.detnews.com

2.bp.blogspot.com

26 Jan 2013 07:40 PM
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BitwiseShift     
Hell, in just 3 hours it's probably way down the interstate then stripped and broken up for parts

26 Jan 2013 07:47 PM
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Clock Spider Jerusalem     

GeneralJim: DETROIT: The U.S. major city with the longest streak of uninterrupted Democratic control. Detroit is your future.

[files.myopera.com image 375x310]

[cmsimg.detnews.com image 640x412]

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 522x390]


Check it out, this guy thinks Detroit would be Happyland if a Republican was in charge. Dude, it's still in farking Michigan.

26 Jan 2013 07:48 PM
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skinink     

"This was not the first time Marquez staged a jailbreak. According to U.S. Marshal David Gonzalez, Marquez pulled the same stunt in a Phoenix prison eight months ago when he switched wristbands with another inmate who he had befriended and who had a similar complexion and biuld."


1)What is this 'wristband' thing that they use to track inmates? It doesn't seem too secure.


2)What is a 'biuld'?


26 Jan 2013 08:03 PM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  

Clock Spider Jerusalem: Check it out, this guy thinks Detroit would be Happyland if a Republican was in charge. Dude, it's still in farking Michigan.


Everything bad in the world is the fault of liberals.

26 Jan 2013 08:08 PM
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ThatGuyFromTheInternet     
Isn't the phrase "Detroit jail" redundant?

26 Jan 2013 08:20 PM
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9Speed     
If you picked "Twice" as the answer to "How many times has this story made the front page of Fark today?" step forward and claim your prize

26 Jan 2013 08:26 PM
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way south     
This was funnier in idiocracy.

26 Jan 2013 08:48 PM
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namegoeshere     
That's better than being forgotten in jail, handcuffed, without foood, water, or toilet, like Daniel Chong,who ended up hospitalized with kidney failure and a perforated esophagus, not to mention all his new imaginary halucinated friends. Oh yeah, he was never arrested or charged with anything.

Oops.

26 Jan 2013 09:05 PM
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Begoggle     

GeneralJim: DETROIT: The U.S. major city with the longest streak of uninterrupted Democratic control. Detroit is your future.

[files.myopera.com image 375x310]

[cmsimg.detnews.com image 640x412]

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 522x390]


This is why Fark needs a STUPID button.

26 Jan 2013 09:16 PM
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mike_the_engineer     
"I'm actually supposed to be getting OUT of jail today."

www.the-frat-pack.com

26 Jan 2013 09:24 PM
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BMFPitt     

GeneralJim: DETROIT: The U.S. major city with the longest streak of uninterrupted Democratic control.


Just off the top of my head, Pittsburgh has had only Democrat mayors since 1934.

26 Jan 2013 09:32 PM
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Ronin_S     
Why didn't they just call Robocop?

26 Jan 2013 09:40 PM
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lack of warmth     
They're getting better. They must've started doing roll calls to see which inmates are still there. Marquez......Marquez......Marquez..... ..Marquez.......

26 Jan 2013 09:45 PM
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LowbrowDeluxe     

BMFPitt: GeneralJim: DETROIT: The U.S. major city with the longest streak of uninterrupted Democratic control.

Just off the top of my head, Pittsburgh has had only Democrat mayors since 1934.


Shhh. Don't confuse him with facts.

26 Jan 2013 09:49 PM
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Oldiron_79     

mike_the_engineer: "I'm actually supposed to be getting OUT of jail today."


Dumbass you're in the wrong line

27 Jan 2013 01:29 AM
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GeneralJim     
Clock Spider Jerusalem:
Check it out, this guy thinks Detroit would be Happyland if a Republican was in charge. Dude, it's still in farking Michigan.

Nah. It would just suck LESS. I'm a realist. And it simply isn't a good idea to leave one group, of whatever party, in charge for decades. Change 'em out once in a while. It's healthier that way.

27 Jan 2013 03:21 AM
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GeneralJim     
BMFPitt:
Just off the top of my head, Pittsburgh has had only Democrat mayors since 1934.

Nope. Pete Flaherty and Richard Caliguiri were independents. Pete was nominated by BOTH parties. Let me save you some time -- D.C. is a tie.

(But wouldn't that kind of bolster my point, anyway?)

27 Jan 2013 03:36 AM
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bruce4bruce     
and he escaped from Sheriff Joe in AZ first ... this man is a hero here in AZ to the Mexican Tent City Community ... Sheriff Joe ... LOL! THe largest A$$HAT in downtown Phoenix at the well fargo tower.

I wonder why no one has bad mouthed Wells Fargo for housing the supposed racist sehriff ... .I thought that wouuld hurt Wellls Fargo Business?

Unless Wells Fargo supports Sheriff JOE and his policies?

27 Jan 2013 03:48 AM
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bruce4bruce     
Cant type when tipsy!

27 Jan 2013 03:49 AM
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Tanthalas39     

GeneralJim: Clock Spider Jerusalem: Check it out, this guy thinks Detroit would be Happyland if a Republican was in charge. Dude, it's still in farking Michigan.
Nah. It would just suck LESS. I'm a realist. And it simply isn't a good idea to leave one group, of whatever party, in charge for decades. Change 'em out once in a while. It's healthier that way.


Shhh, you'll upset the pretentious liberals in here.

27 Jan 2013 07:12 AM
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BMFPitt     

GeneralJim: Nope. Pete Flaherty and Richard Caliguiri were independents. Pete was nominated by BOTH parties.


No, they were Democrats.

Flaherty happened to win the Republican primary while running as a Democrat, as Ravensthal almost did recently.

Caliguiri was a Democrat who lost the Democratic primary and ran as an independent.

The fact that you're even trying to argue about this is sad.

27 Jan 2013 08:04 AM
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Gunther     

BMFPitt: The fact that you're even trying to argue about this is sad.


Haven't run into Jim before? He's crazy in a particularly wonderful way. He'll choose an easily disprovable assertion, then devote an enormous amount of time and energy to come up with plausible-sounding but ultimately spurious arguments for it. His "the earth is actually cooling!" novel-length posts in climate threads are sights to behold.

He actually "wins" a lot of arguments simply by dragging the argument out long enough that the people he's arguing with give up.

27 Jan 2013 08:56 AM
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Jon iz teh kewl     
i win i win! what do i win
an elephant
?

www.societyofrobots.com

27 Jan 2013 12:47 PM
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GeneralJim     
Gunther:
Haven't run into Jim before? He's crazy in a particularly wonderful way. He'll choose an easily disprovable assertion, then devote an enormous amount of time and energy to come up with plausible-sounding but ultimately spurious arguments for it. His "the earth is actually cooling!" novel-length posts in climate threads are sights to behold.

Yeah, observe the specious cooling...

earthintime.com

28 Jan 2013 06:06 AM
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