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   Funeral procession goes thru Burger King drive thru so that the deceased could have it his way

27 Jan 2013 06:18 AM   |   5463 clicks   |   Fox News
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
Hmmm... wonder what he died of?


Kime got one last burger too, the York Daily Record reported. It was placed atop his flag-draped coffin at the cemetery.

What does the US Flag Code say about ketchup stains?

27 Jan 2013 12:18 AM
FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  
I would have been a bit more impressed if they had taken the coffin to a strip club for one more lap dance.

27 Jan 2013 01:04 AM
ThunderPelvis     
Kime, 88, a World War II veteran, died Jan. 20.

Jesus, that's a good run for the 350 pound diabeetus-stricken dude that I'd envisioned...

27 Jan 2013 01:36 AM
L.D. Ablo    [TotalFark]  
Maybe they could use the same embalming technique on him that Burger King uses on its meat.

The corpse would still look OK in a few hundred years.

27 Jan 2013 02:17 AM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  

FirstNationalBastard: I would have been a bit more impressed if they had taken the coffin to a strip club for one more lap dance.


That's more of a Taiwanese thing.

27 Jan 2013 02:20 AM
JerkyMeat    [TotalFark]  
"It's nice to know he was a loyal customer up until the end -- the very end,"

Ack.

America kinda sucks.

27 Jan 2013 03:09 AM
Summoner101     
Brains in a Burger King are pretty hard to come by

27 Jan 2013 06:21 AM
Kibbler     
"And then take me to Walmart, and get a 12-roll pack of toilet paper. I always loved saving 17 cents over what that ripoff mom and pop store used to charge. And at the grave, put a tv on the coffin and let's watch a couple hours of Honey Boo Boo. And I want a pair of rubber balls hanging from the hearse's trailer hitch."

These are basic freedoms here, Dude.

27 Jan 2013 06:34 AM
cowgirl toffee     

Kibbler: "And then take me to Walmart, and get a 12-roll pack of toilet paper. I always loved saving 17 cents over what that ripoff mom and pop store used to charge. And at the grave, put a tv on the coffin and let's watch a couple hours of Honey Boo Boo. And I want a pair of rubber balls hanging from the hearse's trailer hitch."

These are basic freedoms here, Dude.


I wouldn't mind a pair of fuzzy dice hanging in my coffin. Oh... and I defiantly want an air freshener. Maybe a Hello Kitty one with a strawberry scent.

27 Jan 2013 06:37 AM
GBB     
My Dad was telling me about wanting to specify how he wanted to be buried or creamated when he goes. He didn't want my sister not I to go crazy and spend a small fortune on him. So I jokingly said, "So, you want to make sure you get the New Orleans Jazz Party funural you always wanted? Oh, I know: we'll rent one of those Human Cannonball cannons for you." Then I had to explain it to him, "I'm sure it would work just as well with a dead body as it would with a live one." "Or perhaps a Viking funeral: put you on a boat, launch it, burn it down?" He wasn't thrilled with that, so I suggested a Jedi Funeral, "It's like a Viking Funeral, but on land." Which sparked an idea with him, "Oh I want to go out like Spock. Put me on a desert planet, come get me in a few months and I can start over!"

Brief pause.

"So 'human cannonball'? Got it."

27 Jan 2013 06:46 AM
Kibbler     
My procession is stopping at Fishy Joe's.

/ride the walrus
//something funny in that hippy

27 Jan 2013 07:02 AM
ComaToast     
I want to be thrown in the shark tank at Marine World while my family and friends pour chum into the water.

Just to be clear, I want that AFTER I'm dead.

27 Jan 2013 07:07 AM
Larry Mahnken     

ComaToast: I want to be thrown in the shark tank at Marine World while my family and friends pour chum into the water.

Just to be clear, I want that AFTER I'm dead.


Not a fan of Pawn Stars, eh?

27 Jan 2013 07:09 AM
PeenkyPinkerton     

Larry Mahnken: ComaToast: I want to be thrown in the shark tank at Marine World while my family and friends pour chum into the water.

Just to be clear, I want that AFTER I'm dead.

Not a fan of Pawn Stars, eh?


Ba dum tssh.

27 Jan 2013 07:11 AM
Dadoody     
i1.kym-cdn.comView Full Size

27 Jan 2013 07:33 AM
Morgellons     

GBB: My Dad was telling me about wanting to specify how he wanted to be buried or creamated when he goes. He didn't want my sister not I to go crazy and spend a small fortune on him. So I jokingly said, "So, you want to make sure you get the New Orleans Jazz Party funural you always wanted? Oh, I know: we'll rent one of those Human Cannonball cannons for you." Then I had to explain it to him, "I'm sure it would work just as well with a dead body as it would with a live one." "Or perhaps a Viking funeral: put you on a boat, launch it, burn it down?" He wasn't thrilled with that, so I suggested a Jedi Funeral, "It's like a Viking Funeral, but on land." Which sparked an idea with him, "Oh I want to go out like Spock. Put me on a desert planet, come get me in a few months and I can start over!"

Brief pause.

"So 'human cannonball'? Got it."


You forgot to mention to him that with a viking funeral, he'd be able to take his favourite concubine with him. (Although for her sake I'd hope she's already dead by the time the skip catches fire...)

27 Jan 2013 07:33 AM
MurphyMurphy     
*bag rustle*

fries?

*bag rustle*

fries?

*bag rustle*

... FRIES?!
Crap, they forgot my fries.

Call the hearse driver, we need to wake back through.

27 Jan 2013 07:35 AM
skinink     
If I was honored in death as I lived in life, then they would be throwing my ashes at some stripper on a stage.

Either that or they could place my urn on my boss' desk while she screams at it fir another imaginary farkup I had.

27 Jan 2013 08:01 AM
Strangerarranger     
My older brother passed 4 years ago. My Dad wanted to bury him next to my Mom. I told him my brother and I had discussed this before, but he wanted to be cremated. He was cremated and we spread his ashes near the San Marcos river and had a glass of champagne.

I had surgery last year and told my dad and stepmom that if I die, I wanted to be cremated and pitched in the nearest trash can. The stepmom was shocked. I told her that if you're gone and have been reduced to a box of ashes, what does it matter?

27 Jan 2013 08:26 AM
sozesmom     
He definitely "had it his way"!

It had to be said.

27 Jan 2013 08:44 AM
ExJerseyGirl     

Strangerarranger: I had surgery last year and told my dad and stepmom that if I die, I wanted to be cremated and pitched in the nearest trash can. The stepmom was shocked. I told her that if you're gone and have been reduced to a box of ashes, what does it matter?


It doesn't matter to you -- you are dead, but your relatives might find some closure by disposing of your ashes in a more dignified way while saying a few words in remembrance of you. Asking for a small service respects their need to deal with your death.

Oh dear Lord, I can't believe I just typed this in a thread about a wake going through a BK drive-thru. Never mind -- just have them empty the ashes onto the ground next to the trashcan and check to see if the container your ashes were in is recyclable. Might as well be green about it.

27 Jan 2013 08:56 AM
bborchar     
Take whatever organs they need and cremate me...I don't want to rot in some box in the ground (it's possibly the only real "phobia" I have, as irrational as it is). And I want them scattered in Japan, England, Australia, and someplace that I never went...I want this done because I want whomever us doing it to see the world and enjoy it like I did. So I want them to take their time. The list may grow as I do more traveling as I get older, though ;)

27 Jan 2013 09:12 AM
varmitydog     
If I was in a funeral procession and it pulled into a drive thru lane at a fast food joint I would turn off my lights and drive on home.
White trash folks can do whatever they wanna do, but they will do it without me.

27 Jan 2013 09:13 AM
Kibbler     
I want the procession to go through a drivethrough, where my remains have been cleverly 3D printed into toys for the happy meals.

"Oooh! I got a spleen!"

27 Jan 2013 09:45 AM
cryinoutloud     

JerkyMeat: "It's nice to know he was a loyal customer up until the end -- the very end,"
Ack.
America kinda sucks.


Be proud. This is the country where everyone is known as a "consumer." It's our highest calling.

27 Jan 2013 09:49 AM
sprag     
I've been telling my wife for years that my funeral procession needs to go through a drive thru so I'm disappointed that someone got there first.

My other plan seems safe so far, though: at the visitation I want to have clown make up put on so nobody can say "oh, he looks so natural/peaceful." I am not a clown and I generally dislike them. I told my wife this prior to a funeral we went to recently and she had trouble keeping a straight face when we went to talk with the family.

27 Jan 2013 10:02 AM
jmadisonbiii     
www.giggleon.comView Full Size

RIP, HUMPTY

27 Jan 2013 11:02 AM
sk187     
I want to be buried as a Mormon, because I dislike them and nothing would make me happier than to have another one in the ground.

/Drawn Together

Side note: My dads funeral is in 2 hours.

27 Jan 2013 11:06 AM
WordsnCollision     
2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


/guess they weren't in the mood for pizza.

27 Jan 2013 11:38 AM
Gough     
My awkward drive-through CSB:

We were at a friend's wedding this summer and the bride's parents were spending a lot of time and money on the dinner for the reception. The wedding itself ran long and, as Ms. Gough and I were driving from the ceremony to the reception, we realized that it was going to be a while before the dinner was served. We were starving, so we ducked into the drive-through at the Golden Haunches, hoping that no one would see us. I thought we'd pulled it off...until I glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw the bride, the groom, and the bride's parents right behind us. After I got over my embarrassment, I started to wonder: they KNEW what the food at the reception was going to be like, and they're grabbing a bag of burgers on the way??

27 Jan 2013 11:58 AM
NicoFinn     
All I want is a lavender coffin...

27 Jan 2013 12:26 PM
lack of warmth     

sprag: I've been telling my wife for years that my funeral procession needs to go through a drive thru so I'm disappointed that someone got there first.

My other plan seems safe so far, though: at the visitation I want to have clown make up put on so nobody can say "oh, he looks so natural/peaceful." I am not a clown and I generally dislike them. I told my wife this prior to a funeral we went to recently and she had trouble keeping a straight face when we went to talk with the family.


When I saw my uncle in his open casket last year, I had to hold back a laugh. The funeral home had done such a ridiculous job on his face, I wouldn't have recognize him if my aunt wasn't standing nearby crying. I lived with them once and was by no means a stranger and yet the arrangement and make up looked like someone else all together. I think I would've felt better if they did use clown make up, for than I would've known it was a joke. The service was more awkward with the minister from 'his' church using notes to remember his name. He hadn't attended church in the last 30 years of his life.

27 Jan 2013 01:31 PM
sendbillmoney     
CSB: At my grandmother's funeral, the clergyman conducting the service used the word "afterglow" per its proper, dictionary definition.

There are certain words you don't really need to hear on this occasion. Afterglow is one of them, especially as applied to family members.

27 Jan 2013 01:59 PM
Oblio13     
One of my heroes, Edward Abbey, asked his friends to bury him illegally in a hidden grave out in the desert, and then to celebrate with "booze and gunfire". They put him in his old sleeping bag and transported him in the back of a pickup. He's out there somewhere fertilizing a cactus.

28 Jan 2013 08:31 AM
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