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   Woman tries "death by hoo-ha" on her husband by putting poison in her privates in bid to kill him

28 Jan 2013 02:33 PM   |   19198 clicks   |   Mirror.co.uk
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Pocket Ninja    [TotalFark]  
Somehow, I don't think this couple looks anything like the couple in the photo linked to tfa.

Also, why would she have willingly gone to the hospital with him? Instead of, I dunno, washing herself first?

28 Jan 2013 01:33 PM
brap    [TotalFark]  
Are you insane in the mucus membrane?  That shiate's gonna kill YOU, girl!

28 Jan 2013 01:47 PM
Lucky LaRue    [TotalFark]  
The Brazilian wife is accused of planting a toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed.
Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell.

Lulz.

28 Jan 2013 01:52 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
EXTRA! EXTRA! TAINTED TWAT PLOT PREVENTED!

♫  Tainted love... O-o-o-o... ♫

28 Jan 2013 01:58 PM
RedPhoenix122    [TotalFark]  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: EXTRA! EXTRA! TAINTED TWAT PLOT PREVENTED!

♫  Tainted love... O-o-o-o... ♫


He's got to get away.

28 Jan 2013 02:07 PM
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell.

Honey... you smell strange tonight. Like lemon and almonds instead of yeast and feces.

28 Jan 2013 02:15 PM
UberDave    [TotalFark]  
Why put poison down there?  Should could have just worn neoprene underwear and not bathed for a few days.

28 Jan 2013 02:20 PM
BAMFinator     
Surprised no Florida tag.

28 Jan 2013 02:35 PM
GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve     
Hoo ha?
cdn.uproxx.comView Full Size

28 Jan 2013 02:35 PM
minoridiot     
She didn't think her coonting plan all the way through.

28 Jan 2013 02:35 PM
Grobbley     
This thread ruined my lunch

28 Jan 2013 02:35 PM
Brick-House     
Just don't wash it for a few days and see if the stink does him in.

assets.diylol.comView Full Size

28 Jan 2013 02:37 PM
LonMead     
t0.gstatic.comView Full Size

28 Jan 2013 02:37 PM
Rumpertumpskin     

28 Jan 2013 02:37 PM
SkunkWerks     
So, notsocunninglingus?

28 Jan 2013 02:39 PM
HailRobonia     
What a cunning stunt.

28 Jan 2013 02:41 PM
Cheron     
Look, she read somewhere that certain herbal lotions can enhance pleasure. It was just an unfortunate oversight missing the "for external use only" warning. Totally innocent

28 Jan 2013 02:42 PM
berylman     
I wonder what kind of poison you can apply to your genitals that will not be absorbed yet still be absorbed into the bloodstream of a person performing oral sex on said poisoned genitals. Yeah none.

28 Jan 2013 02:43 PM
mizkc     
lh6.ggpht.comView Full Size

28 Jan 2013 02:43 PM
Wellon Dowd     
The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised

28 Jan 2013 02:43 PM
Highroller48    [TotalFark]  
LonMead

Came for snu-snu.  Leaving happy.


/Same thing I said when I left that Thai brothel....

28 Jan 2013 02:43 PM
pute kisses like a man     
i don't know if poisons are all that great of an idea in the S&M world. if they are, I just want to say that any utterance i make ever in my life (including silence) is my safe word for no poison.

28 Jan 2013 02:44 PM
Delectatio Morosa     

Lucky LaRue: The Brazilian wife is accused of planting a toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed.
Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell.

Lulz.


Unlike the one planted there that lures you to marriage.

28 Jan 2013 02:44 PM
cryinoutloud    [TotalFark]  

brap: Are you insane in the mucus membrane?  That shiate's gonna kill YOU, girl!


Really. and what was the "poisonous substance?" This story is dildos/.

28 Jan 2013 02:44 PM
TheDeathMerchant     
"death by hoo-ha"

Aw c'mon, "Death By Snu-Snu" would have worked here, crushed pelvis or no.

28 Jan 2013 02:44 PM
miss diminutive    [TotalFark]  
Sure, that makes sense. Place poison inside an orifice with thin walls and a semi-permeable mucous membrane allowing for quick access to your bloodstream.

Next time, just poison his cornflakes.

28 Jan 2013 02:46 PM
thatboyoverthere    [TotalFark]  
She did not think that through. It would kill her long before it killed the husband. I doubt she was smart enough to also put a sealer like Petroleum jelly on the inside first.

28 Jan 2013 02:46 PM
Milk D     

miss diminutive: Sure, that makes sense. Place poison inside an orifice with thin walls and a semi-permeable mucous membrane allowing for quick access to your bloodstream. Next time, just poison his cornflakes.


you and your logic.

28 Jan 2013 02:47 PM
hitlersbrain     
Just tie me up and smother me with it. A woman could easily get off... and not be charged either.

28 Jan 2013 02:48 PM
Old Man Winter    [TotalFark]  

TheDeathMerchant: "death by hoo-ha"

Aw c'mon, "Death By Snu-Snu" would have worked here, crushed pelvis or no.


That headline was used the other day though.

28 Jan 2013 02:48 PM
cgraves67     
Sweetheart. I don't want to put a damper on our evening plans, but your cooter smells like strychnine. What's up with that?

28 Jan 2013 02:48 PM
digidorm    [TotalFark]  

cryinoutloud: brap: Are you insane in the mucus membrane?  That shiate's gonna kill YOU, girl!

Really. and what was the "poisonous substance?" This story is dildos/.


Yeah, the whole thing smells a bit fishy.

/Stolen from comments

28 Jan 2013 02:50 PM
SkunkWerks     

berylman: I wonder what kind of poison you can apply to your genitals that will not be absorbed yet still be absorbed into the bloodstream of a person performing oral sex on said poisoned genitals. Yeah none.


Both are mucus membranes. Wondering about that myself.

Then again, maybe she's that crazy.

28 Jan 2013 02:50 PM
LeroyBourne     
surbrook.devermore.netView Full Size

knows his pain

28 Jan 2013 02:51 PM
uncleacid     
He sensed there was something fishy going on.

28 Jan 2013 02:51 PM
HeadKase     
"Saved by the Smell" with Elizabeth Berkley in the starring role

28 Jan 2013 02:53 PM
libranoelrose    [TotalFark]  
The coldest Winter ever.

28 Jan 2013 02:54 PM
LadySusan     
I know this will astonish some here, but the unwashed penis does not smell or taste so great either. You probably don't have anything particular to brag about in the smelly naughty bits department.

(Fresh from shower)

28 Jan 2013 02:54 PM
Wrath of Heaven     
The alleged attempt on his life was exposed when tests on his wife discovered traces of a poisonous substance down below.

I scrolled down the article for elaboration on the poisonous substance, saw what they did there.

28 Jan 2013 02:54 PM
LonMead     

SkunkWerks: berylman: I wonder what kind of poison you can apply to your genitals that will not be absorbed yet still be absorbed into the bloodstream of a person performing oral sex on said poisoned genitals. Yeah none.

Both are mucus membranes. Wondering about that myself.

Then again, maybe she's that crazy.


t3.gstatic.comView Full Size
"Somehow, I don't think you thought your cunning plan all the way through."

28 Jan 2013 02:55 PM
suthrnrunt     
that gives a whole new spin on the wash the cootchie song.

28 Jan 2013 02:55 PM
fickenchucker     
I'm calling FAKE. The same poison would have worked just put into a beer, right? So why the supposed cootchtacular shenanigans?

28 Jan 2013 02:56 PM
Super Chronic     
This article reads like a forwarded e-mail.

No names, dates, places or quotes? Check.

Gaping logic hole? Check. (The part where the wife, having failed in her murder plot, agrees to go to the doctor after the husband tells her something ain't right with the cooter.)

All it's missing is "my brother in law works with this person's cousin and I swear it's all true!"

28 Jan 2013 02:57 PM
SN1987a goes boom     
Subby, I'm disappointed that you didn't work in a "tainted taint" joke there.

28 Jan 2013 02:58 PM
moothemagiccow     
Has "hooha" always been euphemism for vagina? It sounds creepy and reminds me of Pacino

28 Jan 2013 03:00 PM
calm like a bomb     

LadySusan: I know this will astonish some here, but the unwashed penis does not smell or taste so great either. You probably don't have anything particular to brag about in the smelly naughty bits department.

(Fresh from shower)


Please. If I've have learned anything from movies and advertising, it's that there is nothing more attractive than a man with a sweaty dong.

28 Jan 2013 03:00 PM
Devolving_Spud     
"If you can smell it before you can see it, YOU DON'T WANT IT."

28 Jan 2013 03:00 PM
LeroyBourne     

moothemagiccow: Has "hooha" always been euphemism for vagina? It sounds creepy and reminds me of Pacino


Yes, and the penis is known as the 'hey-now.'

28 Jan 2013 03:02 PM
Wrath of Heaven     

moothemagiccow: Has "hooha" always been euphemism for vagina? It sounds creepy and reminds me of Pacino


It's been eclipsed by more modern euphemisms like "ham wallet" and "whisker biscuit."

28 Jan 2013 03:02 PM
DROxINxTHExWIND     

thatboyoverthere: She did not think that through. It would kill her long before it killed the husband. I doubt she was smart enough to also put a sealer like Petroleum jelly on the inside first.


You sound like you've thought about doing this.

28 Jan 2013 03:03 PM
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