Not gay if balls are not touching.

Wait, King William, ruler of the Dutch?

Man, I hate that dick. Every time I run into him in Civilization 5 he always behaves like a total cock. Just finished teaming up with the Germans to take him down in my current game. Now the Germans are gearing up to attack me. Should have known better to trust the Nazis. I think they're getting the Turks to attack me too.

That is a quality headline.

Gorf crap subby

Seems like drugs had to be involved in this decision.

Crown Prince Willem-AlexanderCrown Prince Willem-AlexanderCrown Prince Willem-AlexanderCrown Prince Willem-AlexanderCrown Prince Willem-AlexanderCrown Prince Willem-AlexanderCrown Prince Willem-Alexander

R.I.P Bea

I submitted this with a shiattier headline.

Good jorb, subby

This article is severely lacking comedic aspects to rip on. Gawd I hate the Dutch.

Satanic_Hamster: Wait, King William, ruler of the Dutch?

Man, I hate that dick. Every time I run into him in Civilization 5 he always behaves like a total cock. Just finished teaming up with the Germans to take him down in my current game. Now the Germans are gearing up to attack me. Should have known better to trust the Nazis. I think they're getting the Turks to attack me too.

That's why you should install Civ IV with the Beyond the Sword expansion and forget that Civ V ever happened. BtS was the peak of the franchise (lots of units, decent Espionage options,etcetc).

Aw, I liked Bea.

Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

I bet she got tired of all the Queen Bea jokes.

How many European countries still have nobles? I thought most of them killed all of them off, or forced them to become normals.

If I was any sort of European royalty, I would have spent years trying to"'secure the succession" with a Swedish princess, especially Madeleine.

Cythraul: How many European countries still have nobles? I thought most of them killed all of them off, or forced them to become normals.

Belgium
Britain
Denmark
Netherlands
Liechtenstein
Luxembourg
Monaco
Norway
Spain
Sweden

Observers believe she remained on the throne for so long in part because of unrest in Dutch society as the country struggled to assimilate more and more immigrants, mainly Muslims from North Africa, and shifted away from its traditional reputation as one of the world's most tolerant nations.

Gee, who knew that bringing in hundreds of thousands of uneducated people who come from impoverished and warring lands into your country might cause problems.

The Dutch are scum.

Subby's Headline: Dutch Queen Beatrix plans to hand the rudder to her son, Prince Willem-Alexander

My Suggested Rewrite: Dutch Queen Beatrix to let her son, Prince Williem-Alexander, stick his finger in the dyke.

I'm cool with this. One of my favorite countries to visit is the Netherlands, especially the Hague. Great, laid-back people, Great beer. Great culture.

She's a good leader.

AirForceVet: Subby's Headline: Dutch Queen Beatrix plans to hand the rudder to her son, Prince Willem-Alexander

My Suggested Rewrite: Dutch Queen Beatrix to let her son, Prince Williem-Alexander, stick his finger in the dyke.

I'm cool with this. One of my favorite countries to visit is the Netherlands, especially the Hague. Great, laid-back people, Great beer. Great culture.

I'm going to disagree: the dike thing is overused. Now, a dutch rudder headline, that's the way to go. Dutch oven might have worked too.

/not subby

berylman: This article is severely lacking comedic aspects to rip on. Gawd I hate the Dutch.

Heavy Metal is a way of life there. Kindergarteners there learn to sing "Immigrant Song" before they learn to read.

sprag: I'm going to disagree: the dike thing is overused. Now, a dutch rudder headline, that's the way to go. Dutch oven might have worked too.

/not subby

I agree with you and withdraw my suggested rewrite. I simply didn't know what the joke was until I Goggled it.

/Ignorance is bliss ... except on Fark.

alice_600: berylman: This article is severely lacking comedic aspects to rip on. Gawd I hate the Dutch.

Heavy Metal is a way of life there. Kindergarteners there learn to sing "Immigrant Song" before they learn to read.

Well, the song is about their ancestors.

durbnpoisn: Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

(1) The British monarch cannot abdicate without Parliamentary approval

and

(2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

Still better than a rusty trombone....

phalamir: durbnpoisn: Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

(1) The British monarch cannot abdicate without Parliamentary approval

and

(2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

Interesting. I didn't know those two points. I thought she was just waiting for the great-grandkid to pop out, then abdicate directly to William and skip over Charles., but I guess that's not a possibility.

Still would be a good move to skip over Charles, though. If possible.

phalamir: durbnpoisn: Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

(1) The British monarch cannot abdicate without Parliamentary approval

and

(2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

So who would be next in the line of succession, if all of Elizabeth's descendants are excluded?

phalamir: durbnpoisn: Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

(1) The British monarch cannot abdicate without Parliamentary approval

and

(2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

Maybe Charles can abdicate and we can go straight to Kate. She's not in the line of succession so she wouldn't be affected.

highwayrun: phalamir: durbnpoisn: Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

(1) The British monarch cannot abdicate without Parliamentary approval

and

(2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

So who would be next in the line of succession, if all of Elizabeth's descendants are excluded?

Princess Alexandra?

12349876: Cythraul: How many European countries still have nobles? I thought most of them killed all of them off, or forced them to become normals.

Belgium
Britain
Denmark
Netherlands
Liechtenstein
Luxembourg
Monaco
Norway
Spain
Sweden

More countries that that still have noble titles (e.g., France, Germany, Austria) but it's just a title, it gives a person no special privileges.

phalamir: (2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

The Duke of Windsor (aka Edward VIII) died without issue, so the royal line would revert to that of George VI anyway.

highwayrun: phalamir: durbnpoisn: Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

(1) The British monarch cannot abdicate without Parliamentary approval

and

(2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

So who would be next in the line of succession, if all of Elizabeth's descendants are excluded?

David Armstrong-Jones, Viscount Linley ?

highwayrun: phalamir: durbnpoisn: Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

(1) The British monarch cannot abdicate without Parliamentary approval

and

(2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

So who would be next in the line of succession, if all of Elizabeth's descendants are excluded?


Ralph the First, of Las Vegas?

TheDumbBlonde: highwayrun: phalamir: durbnpoisn: Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

(1) The British monarch cannot abdicate without Parliamentary approval

and

(2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

So who would be next in the line of succession, if all of Elizabeth's descendants are excluded?

Princess Alexandra?

According to wiki, Viscount Linley, eldest son of Princess Margaret (Liz's sister).

durbnpoisn: Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

The British monarchy doesn't work that way- the Queen will never abdicate. She's promised this publicly many times, starting when she was just 21 and still a princess.

The Dutch monarchs do have a history of abdicating though, allowing for retirement.

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: TheDumbBlonde: highwayrun: phalamir: durbnpoisn: Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

(1) The British monarch cannot abdicate without Parliamentary approval

and

(2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

So who would be next in the line of succession, if all of Elizabeth's descendants are excluded?

Princess Alexandra?

According to wiki, Viscount Linley, eldest son of Princess Margaret (Liz's sister).

But if his actions make Lizzie 2 and her decendants ineligible, I don't see how her younger sister would escape that.

Satanic_Hamster: Wait, King William, ruler of the Dutch?

Man, I hate that dick. Every time I run into him in Civilization 5 he always behaves like a total cock. Just finished teaming up with the Germans to take him down in my current game. Now the Germans are gearing up to attack me. Should have known better to trust the Nazis. I think they're getting the Turks to attack me too.

FINE!!! I'll play Civ V again despite the fact that I missed 3 days of work during my last binge. But that doesn't matter to to Satanic_Hamster. NOOOOO... So here I go booting it up. Ill see you jerks in 6 days.

I have a Dutch mother in law. Ya'll have no idea.

A few days ago, I saw her pull up unnanounced. I ran into the bathroom and turned on the shower, so that when she let herself into my house, I could holler out that I was currently unavailable to listen to her criticisms of my dusty ceiling fan blades. The fact that she has 6 dogs that she never bathes roaming her house

I adore my Dutch fella...but damn, his family drives me mad. "Manners" are seen as useless and stupid, and they pride themselves on "keeping it real", so to speak. While it can be amusing at times, take the last time we went on a family outing to the zoo. I had to pull his mother aside and convince her that loud swearing near large groups of children is inappropriate, and that maybe, screaming three "farks" per sentence was a bit excessive.

TheDumbBlonde: But if his actions make Lizzie 2 and her decendants ineligible, I don't see how her younger sister would escape that.

Because her sister is not one of her descendants, her sister is a descendant of their father, George VI.

So yes, Viscount Linley would be next in line if all of the Queen's descendants were removed from the line of succession.

Dammit, I can't seem to ever rant needlessly without major typos. Sigh.

TheDumbBlonde: But if his actions make Lizzie 2 and her decendants ineligible, I don't see how her younger sister would escape that.

Liz's descendants...not her sister's descendants.

RoyFokker'sGhost: phalamir: durbnpoisn: Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

(1) The British monarch cannot abdicate without Parliamentary approval

and

(2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

Interesting. I didn't know those two points. I thought she was just waiting for the great-grandkid to pop out, then abdicate directly to William and skip over Charles., but I guess that's not a possibility.

Still would be a good move to skip over Charles, though. If possible.

It's not possible- that's not how the succession works. It would also be tremendously unfair. Charles gets a lot of really unfair press- but if you actually look carefully at his life and at a lot of his beliefs, he's a really good man with a lot of really interesting ideas, and he's spent most of his life working on projects to improve the lives of people around him.

His Duchy Originals project for example- when he started it, the press laughed at him and thought it was an idiotic idea. Now it's incredibly successful and it's raised millions of pounds for his charities.

See ya, Bea... I'll miss your weird hats and concrete hair...

Announcer: Next week, on `The Simpsons'...
[the breakfast table]
Lisa: [puts down the newspaper] Don't forget, Dad, tonight my class is having
an all-you-can-eat spaghetti dinner.
Homer: Mmm... Spaghetti.
Burns: [his head attached to Homer's shoulder] But Homer, tonight's our
reception for Queen Beatrix of The Netherlands!
Homer: Oh, I hate having two heads.
-- ``Treehouse of Horror II''

/First thing I thought of
//Yes, I have problems

sprag: AirForceVet: Subby's Headline: Dutch Queen Beatrix plans to hand the rudder to her son, Prince Willem-Alexander

My Suggested Rewrite: Dutch Queen Beatrix to let her son, Prince Williem-Alexander, stick his finger in the dyke.

I'm cool with this. One of my favorite countries to visit is the Netherlands, especially the Hague. Great, laid-back people, Great beer. Great culture.

I'm going to disagree: the dike thing is overused. Now, a dutch rudder headline, that's the way to go. Dutch oven might have worked too.

/not subby

Or Dutch caps?

rogue_L_chick: I have a Dutch mother in law. Ya'll have no idea.

A few days ago, I saw her pull up unnanounced. I ran into the bathroom and turned on the shower, so that when she let herself into my house, I could holler out that I was currently unavailable to listen to her criticisms of my dusty ceiling fan blades.

One of the vital signs doctors in The Netherlands check for is if the person is complaining. A Dutchman who isn't complaining is either dead, mute or in the company of strangers.

The fact that she has 6 dogs that she never bathes roaming her house. I adore my Dutch fella...but damn, his family drives me mad. "Manners" are seen as useless and stupid, and they pride themselves on "keeping it real", so to speak. While it can be amusing at times, take the last time we went on a family outing to the zoo. I had to pull his mother aside and convince her that loud swearing near large groups of children is inappropriate, and that maybe, screaming three "farks" per sentence was a bit excessive.

Did you go slumming for a husband? No one I know thinks it is normal to swear in public (might be considered funny amongst friends in certain situations). Or to keep 6 dogs. Or to not bathe them when they start to smell.

Genevieve Marie: RoyFokker'sGhost: phalamir: durbnpoisn: Speaking of Queens that should step down... When the hell is Elizibeth going to step down and let Charles be King?

I mean, c'mon, he's 64 years old! I think he's been patient enough.

(1) The British monarch cannot abdicate without Parliamentary approval

and

(2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

Interesting. I didn't know those two points. I thought she was just waiting for the great-grandkid to pop out, then abdicate directly to William and skip over Charles., but I guess that's not a possibility.

Still would be a good move to skip over Charles, though. If possible.

It's not possible- that's not how the succession works. It would also be tremendously unfair. Charles gets a lot of really unfair press- but if you actually look carefully at his life and at a lot of his beliefs, he's a really good man with a lot of really interesting ideas, and he's spent most of his life working on projects to improve the lives of people around him.

His Duchy Originals project for example- when he started it, the press laughed at him and thought it was an idiotic idea. Now it's incredibly successful and it's raised millions of pounds for his charities.

Agreed. He's quite forward looking when it comes to issues around sustainability, organic farming and the environment. And he's not unique in having had a bad marriage. I saw a documentary last year where he discussed film strips up to when he was invested as Prince of Wales and you could see the kind of scrutiny he was under even when he was a boy. There's very much a sense of noblesse oblige there.

I think my own country (NZ) will move towards becoming a republic when he assumes the throne, but there could be worse people as head of state.

thisispete: phalamir: (2) Because of how George VI decided after the whole Edward VIII debacle, if Elizabeth abdicated, it would also remove all of her descendants from the succession; meaning her abdicating would automatically deny Charles the Crown - Queenie is simply not capable of that level of dick-move (though she could tear a lorry-engine down with her hatpin, if needed)

The Duke of Windsor (aka Edward VIII) died without issue, so the royal line would revert to that of George VI anyway.

But when Edward abdicated and married Nazi-girl, she was still technically in her child-bearing years. So, Parliament basically agreed to ask George what he wanted to do if she did produce a male heir and go with that, since depending upon how one read the Act of Succession, the hypothetical boy-baby would supersede Elizabeth. George basically said "fark 'em", and said you didn't just abdicate for yourself, but all your progeny forever. Yes, as a practical matter, it did not matter in that case; but it has set the rule going forward.