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   Pianist caught in snow blower, the Lord works in listerious wheys, and hell hath no fury like a woman porned: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/20 - 1/26

28 Jan 2013 03:05 PM   |   3083 clicks   |   Fark

Not too much to add this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-01-20 to Sat 2013-01-26:

img.fark.net  Two women wounded in Las Vegas soccer field shooting. If only the players were allowed to use their arms    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Pianist caught in snow blower. Men everywhere flinch instinctively    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Scientists find skeletal remains of a woman that had pelvic teeth. Think about that    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Convicted IRA bomber and key witness against Gerry Adams found dead after tragically and accidentally stabbing herself in the back several times with a drug overdose    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  New research indicates lightning strikes trigger migrane headaches. That's putting it mildly    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  The Lord works in listerious wheys    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Cop cops copper copping copper    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Tortoise survives 30 years locked in a storeroom, tells reporters, "They went by pretty fast"    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Hell hath no fury like a woman porned    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Man arrested for stealing 166 manhole covers. Hopefully he gets to keep one with him in jail    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Scientists say your molar roots are the result of Homo Erectus DNA, refuse to comment on how that got into your mouth    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  For the first time since 2007, both Super Bowl head coaches will be brothers    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Maloof brothers agree to sell Sacramento Kings to Seattle group led by investor Chris Hansen, although they believe the buyer is a 13-year old girl named Brandi    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Teddy has hand picked Taft as the new Nationals mascot. This new alliance will help propel the two presidents to victory for at least four years until the fans tire of their shenanigans and they are replaced with Woodrow Wilson    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  Mozilla reveals its first two Firefox phones, promptly asks you to reload the article to upgrade to v1.18.25.2    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  After bringing 640,000 cases of cholera to Haiti after the quake, the UN says it has a plan to fix things. In other news, Haiti braces for outbreaks of AIDS, smallpox, influenza, malaria, ebola, the plague, cancer, TB, polio and Sean Penn    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Cuba activates first high-speed internet connection using only spare parts from a '53 Chevy    img.fark.net


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  John Cleese has to sell off props and photos to fund multi-million-pound divorce in "Monty Python and the Holy Sale"    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  In a headline one word too long, Jonas Brothers fan claims Joe Jonas blew him off    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  A looooHOOOOoook insIIIIIIIIIiiiide the wo-hu-hu-hu-rold of AAAAaaaron Ne-eh-eh-eh-viiiiiiiiile    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  GOP leaders meeting this week to work on minority outreach, trying to get all shades of white people to join their party, from translucent all the way to artificially tanned    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Obama spokesman claims Obama "would object" to the "annihilation" of the Republican Party, proving once again that he is out of the mainstream and not in touch with what the average American really wants    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Mark Kelly: Gabby and I will do "whatever it takes" for gun control. When asked for comment, Gabby responded: "no sidewindin' bushwackin', hornswagglin' cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter"    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  AT&T "snatches" Alltel, obviously creating AT&T&A    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Best Buy briefly downgraded to Marginal Buy    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Starbucks 1Q up 13%, pleasing investors, shareholders, bean counters    img.fark.net
Showing 1-16 of 16 comments
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doyner    [TotalFark]  
No love for the top voted??

28 Jan 2013 03:46 PM
Unfreakable    [TotalFark]  

doyner: No love for the top voted??


Was the headline worthy of consideration for the Headline of the Year contest?

28 Jan 2013 03:48 PM
doyner    [TotalFark]  

Unfreakable: doyner: No love for the top voted??

Was the headline worthy of consideration for the Headline of the Year contest?


Well...I am a little biased.

28 Jan 2013 03:50 PM
Supes     

doyner: Unfreakable: doyner: No love for the top voted??

Was the headline worthy of consideration for the Headline of the Year contest?

Well...I am a little biased.


FWIW I support your totally biased and self-serving proposed addition. In addition to being a great headline, it was also about 10x better than any of the other dozens of headlines for the same story (mine included).

28 Jan 2013 03:59 PM
Valiente     
"Copper" has mettle.

28 Jan 2013 04:06 PM
Unfreakable    [TotalFark]  

doyner: Unfreakable: doyner: No love for the top voted??

Was the headline worthy of consideration for the Headline of the Year contest?

Well...I am a little biased.


It was a good headline, and has been saved in the "context" category, since the headline is only funny in relation to the linked story. It's a separate contest every year:  http://www.fark.com/comments/7511624

28 Jan 2013 04:10 PM
doyner    [TotalFark]  
Ah.  Thanks.  I'll shut up now.

28 Jan 2013 04:23 PM
flucto    [TotalFark]  
listerious wheys is one of the best puns in the history of Fark.

28 Jan 2013 04:30 PM
Banned on the Run     
Missed "coaches will be brothers"

Sports HOTY contender

28 Jan 2013 04:31 PM
doyner    [TotalFark]  

Banned on the Run: Missed "coaches will be brothers"


ORLY?

28 Jan 2013 04:44 PM
Masterdog     
Manhole cover. Bwahaha.

28 Jan 2013 04:50 PM
jehovahs witness protection     
I'm just happy to have had one of mine included this week.

28 Jan 2013 05:07 PM
Cyberluddite    [TotalFark]  

jehovahs witness protection: I'm just happy to have had one of mine included this week.


Same here--first one for me in a couple or months, I think. I suck at headlines lately.

28 Jan 2013 06:11 PM
MikeSass     
FarkUs tab apparently not worthy of participation.

28 Jan 2013 07:03 PM
ITGreen    [TotalFark]  

Unfreakable: doyner: Unfreakable: doyner: No love for the top voted??

Was the headline worthy of consideration for the Headline of the Year contest?

Well...I am a little biased.

It was a good headline, and has been saved in the "context" category, since the headline is only funny in relation to the linked story. It's a separate contest every year:  http://www.fark.com/comments/7511624


I came for the same fight.  Shutting up too.

29 Jan 2013 11:42 AM
somedude210    [TotalFark]  
Woohoo, second week in a row with a HOTW. Gotta love Blazing Saddles headlines (and the impending thread)

2-1 for the year, I'm liking my chances to finally get into the HOTY finals

29 Jan 2013 10:05 PM
Showing 1-16 of 16 comments
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