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   Alabama 'survivalist killer' wants own reality show in exchange for five-year-old hostage

02 Feb 2013 06:58 AM   |   11360 clicks   |   Daily Mail
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bingethinker     
Give it to him. Episode one, slow motion video of a dozen cops pumping him full of lead.

02 Feb 2013 12:19 AM
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
Sure... come up and sign your exclusive contract for American Sniper

02 Feb 2013 12:25 AM
RexTalionis    [TotalFark]  
He wants a reporter sent to him? Great, now he's going to have 2 hostages instead of one.

02 Feb 2013 12:32 AM
whither_apophis     
Maybe something with leather seats and really crappy mileage?

02 Feb 2013 01:03 AM
Angry Monkey    [TotalFark]  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Sure... come up and sign your exclusive contract for American Sniper


+1

02 Feb 2013 06:31 AM
PainInTheASP    [TotalFark]  

whither_apophis: Maybe something with leather seats and really crappy mileage?


You let the minor go, and we'll even throw in a Blaupunkt.

02 Feb 2013 06:56 AM
BalugaJoe     
force him to watch Fark-TV.  He will come out quickly.

02 Feb 2013 06:59 AM
BronyMedic     

02 Feb 2013 07:02 AM
MmmmBacon    [TotalFark]  
Send in a cop pretending to be a reporter, with one of those fake cellphones that is actually a stun-gun. Once the boy is clear (either released or cop is between maniac and the boy), unleash the fury of Tesla on that moran!

02 Feb 2013 07:02 AM
generallyso     
I didn't realize this hadn't been resolved. At least the kid is still alive.

02 Feb 2013 07:03 AM
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
Police should ask Russians for advice on dealing with hostage takers in confined spaces.
(wikilink)

02 Feb 2013 07:08 AM
BronyMedic     

ZAZ: Police should ask Russians for advice on dealing with hostage takers in confined spaces.
(wikilink)


Yep. Killing everyone with an aersolized sufentayl derivative very unresponsive to NARCAN really works out well.

02 Feb 2013 07:09 AM
zedster    [TotalFark]  

ZAZ: Police should ask Russians for advice on dealing with hostage takers in confined spaces.
(wikilink)


Shouldn't be hard to get the ghb, just stop by the local university. Now making it an aerosol will be harder

02 Feb 2013 07:11 AM
fusillade762     
This sounds like a job for Jon Ronson!

Unless of course his next demand is for a million dollars, a getaway car and to have the letter "M" stricken from the English language...

02 Feb 2013 07:12 AM
SpdrJay     
You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

02 Feb 2013 07:13 AM
BronyMedic     

fusillade762: This sounds like a job for Jon Ronson!

Unless of course his next demand is for a million dollars, a getaway car and to have the letter "M" stricken from the English language...


ITS TOO SOON YOU ASSHOLE!

static.guim.co.ukView Full Size


/RIP M.

02 Feb 2013 07:14 AM
Witchydiva     
Give him a contract with whatever terms he wants, have him sign it. Once he releases the kid, arrest him, point out that a contract signed under duress is invalid, and lock him up for the rest of his life.

02 Feb 2013 07:15 AM
zedster    [TotalFark]  

BronyMedic: ZAZ: Police should ask Russians for advice on dealing with hostage takers in confined spaces.
(wikilink)

Yep. Killing everyone with an aersolized sufentayl derivative very unresponsive to NARCAN really works out well.


And I'm sure the dose for a 5 year old and grown man are the same

02 Feb 2013 07:16 AM
Point02GPA    [TotalFark]  
Vietnam vets:

Secretary of State
Secretary of Defense...almost
Secretary of Going Postal

02 Feb 2013 07:16 AM
crab66     
cdn.dottech.orgView Full Size

02 Feb 2013 07:16 AM
ColTomParker     
Do the allow TV crews in Alabama prisons? Or would this be based in a federal facility?

02 Feb 2013 07:17 AM
BronyMedic     

zedster: And I'm sure the dose for a 5 year old and grown man are the same


Fentanyl's a weird drug when it comes to kids. They actually get more for their weight than adults do to induce sedation and pain control. The pain dose for a Pediatric patient is 1-2mcg/kg slow IV Push with the RSI/Sedation dose approaching a max of 4mcg/kg to a max of 25-50mcg, and for an infant it's 2-3mcg/kg. Adults typically get 1mcg/kg up to a max of 50mcg if they're narcotic nieve (not on long-term narc therapy).

The problem with the weaponized version is it's a derivative of Sufentanyl, which is 100x more potent than Fentanyl is, and it's rapidly absorbed and has a shiatty response to naloxone reversal, which is the typical reversal agent that EMS uses in the United States. Not only does it knock your respiratory drive out, it can also cause major chest wall rigidity in high concentrations administered rapidly, and can tank your blood pressure.

02 Feb 2013 07:20 AM
slayer199    [TotalFark]  
I'm all for this.  It could be like Survivor, but the objective is for him to avoid being anally raped for 30 days.  If he wins, he gets 30 days in solitary.  If he loses, inmates pull a train on him....dry.

02 Feb 2013 07:21 AM
Mid_mo_mad_man     
If the child wasn't mentally handicap I would say wait him out. Since the child is pump a poisonous gas down there and be done with it.

02 Feb 2013 07:21 AM
cowgirl toffee     
Great, just what we need... another nut job drinking his own pee on the Discovery Channel.

02 Feb 2013 07:25 AM
assjuice     
I'll bet this guys loves his guns. And what a surprise, he is insane.

02 Feb 2013 07:26 AM
digistil     
The only question is who he wants to costar in his reality TV show: Glenn Beck or Bill O'Reilly.

02 Feb 2013 07:26 AM
zedster    [TotalFark]  

Mid_mo_mad_man: If the child wasn't mentally handicap I would say wait him out. Since the child is pump a poisonous gas down there and be done with it.


O.o

02 Feb 2013 07:27 AM
gothelder     

cowgirl toffee: Great, just what we need... another nut job drinking his own pee on the Discovery Channel.

Nat Geo.

FTFY

/Gotta love them doomsday preppers, they make me seem normal.

02 Feb 2013 07:28 AM
Duke Phillips' Singing Bears     

Mid_mo_mad_man: If the child wasn't mentally handicap I would say wait him out. Since the child is pump a poisonous gas down there and be done with it.


How do you work up the energy to do that on a Saturday morning?

02 Feb 2013 07:28 AM
digistil     

SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?


It's called PTSD.

02 Feb 2013 07:31 AM
BronyMedic     

digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.


 Plenty of other mental illnesses can cause you to have a violent, psychotic break from reality. This man's history and life story reeks of Paranoid/Delusional Disorders.

02 Feb 2013 07:34 AM
digistil     

assjuice: I'll bet this guys loves his guns. And what a surprise, he is insane.


Do you know of a better way to get (perceived) respect for insane beliefs?

02 Feb 2013 07:34 AM
Hobodeluxe     
you have to wonder if the guy has a chemical toilet and even then as long as they've been in there the health hazards of just being in a confined space with no facilities has to be reaching some threshold. you can't just let them stay in there.

if he would agree to swap the kid for a reporter then yeah send a cop in and as soon as the kid is clear take the mofo down.

02 Feb 2013 07:35 AM
August11     
FA: "There is a coi carp pond and a winding path before the ground rises to conceal two old freight containers buried beneath"

It is a sad but beautiful world.

02 Feb 2013 07:35 AM
digistil     

BronyMedic: digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.

 Plenty of other mental illnesses can cause you to have a violent, psychotic break from reality. This man's history and life story reeks of Paranoid/Delusional Disorders.


True, but the others don't crop up this late in life.

02 Feb 2013 07:35 AM
zedster    [TotalFark]  

digistil: BronyMedic: digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.

 Plenty of other mental illnesses can cause you to have a violent, psychotic break from reality. This man's history and life story reeks of Paranoid/Delusional Disorders.

True, but the others don't crop up this late in life.


Do you have a GED in psychology?

02 Feb 2013 07:36 AM
Dadoody     
i49.photobucket.comView Full Size

02 Feb 2013 07:37 AM
cowgirl toffee     

zedster: digistil: BronyMedic: digistil: SpdrJay: ...

Do you have a GED in psychology?


Ridin' the short bus to college.

02 Feb 2013 07:38 AM
Hobodeluxe     
we should see if he would trade the boy for Glenn Beck and Alex Jones.

02 Feb 2013 07:39 AM
BronyMedic     

Hobodeluxe: we should see if he would trade the boy for Glenn Beck and Alex Jones.


If we do this, can we just bulldoze over the bunker?

02 Feb 2013 07:40 AM
digistil     

zedster: digistil: BronyMedic: digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.

 Plenty of other mental illnesses can cause you to have a violent, psychotic break from reality. This man's history and life story reeks of Paranoid/Delusional Disorders.

True, but the others don't crop up this late in life.

Do you have a GED in psychology?


I've got a dozen published papers dealing with mental illness, so someone thinks I know what I'm talking about.

02 Feb 2013 07:42 AM
digistil     

digistil: zedster: digistil: BronyMedic: digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.

 Plenty of other mental illnesses can cause you to have a violent, psychotic break from reality. This man's history and life story reeks of Paranoid/Delusional Disorders.

True, but the others don't crop up this late in life.

Do you have a GED in psychology?

I've got a dozen published papers dealing with mental illness, so someone thinks I know what I'm talking about.


*mostly dealing with schizophrenia.

02 Feb 2013 07:43 AM
MurphyMurphy     
huh, turns out he doesn't want anything along those lines subby
not that that would stop a shiatty greenlight around here

He says 4 hours into this all he wants is to tell his story and he'll let the kid go?

No wonder they were keeping quiet about his demands for days,
if anyone found out that they could have resolved this thing last week but instead incompetently drug it out they would be pissed.

Police negotiators are not negotiators.  They are mind farkers, and very good ones. They just try to shrink the threat's mind until the rest of the cops can capitalize on a mistake. In this situation with no way in/out... it's a dumb strategy. They should have promised him whatever he wanted to open the hatch first day in.

Hopefully they did and this isn't the full story, which I'm guessing is the case but it's hard to tell with direct quotes from the police confirming it followed by no explanation about why the deal didn't take.

02 Feb 2013 07:44 AM
ThatOldNavyGuy     
"Bus driver Charles Poland was allegedly shot while trying to prevent the gunman from hurting any children"

While reading the article and looking at the pictures I noticed the statement about the bus driver being allegedly shot. The matter of him being shot is not "allegedly" because hospital records can confirm that; maybe it is alleged that Jimmy Lee Dykes did it.

02 Feb 2013 07:44 AM
MmmmBacon    [TotalFark]  

BronyMedic: Hobodeluxe: we should see if he would trade the boy for Glenn Beck and Alex Jones.

If we do this, can we just bulldoze over the bunker?


No need, just need to close off all the air vents.

02 Feb 2013 07:44 AM
willfullyobscure     
I seriously hope he's the reason you p eople get your guns taken away. I really do.

02 Feb 2013 07:46 AM
Prank Call of Cthulhu     
The guy is stuck in a tiny windowless bunker with a 5-year old ass pie with ADHD. He can't last much longer.

02 Feb 2013 07:46 AM
Dog Welder     
Wake me up when he's demanding naked pictures of Bea Arthur and 93 copies of "Moby Dick."

02 Feb 2013 07:51 AM
Jacobin     
Release a python trained to attack only adults theough the air vent while the guy is asleep.

I'd like a reality show in exchange for providing this solution

02 Feb 2013 07:54 AM
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