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   Hungry? You won't be after seeing the worst discoveries in food products over the last few years

22 Feb 2013 08:45 PM   |   15723 clicks   |   Metro
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ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
It's not fair. I keep hoping for exotic spiders in my fruit and I never get any.

22 Feb 2013 08:06 PM
FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  
What, no jizz?

22 Feb 2013 08:08 PM
reported    [TotalFark]  
Why would you complain about getting a live frog in your packaged salad? That's proof the salad is very fresh (otherwise the frog would be dead) and you get a free pet (or snack if you like frog legs).

22 Feb 2013 08:38 PM
skinink     
Sure, I'd be upset about some labeling horsemeat as beef then selling it to me. But as for eating horsemeat I wouldn't be bothered. It's just another animal.

22 Feb 2013 08:51 PM
medius     

FirstNationalBastard: What, no jizz?


aww, you  noticed

/it's a new recipe

22 Feb 2013 08:51 PM
Fade2black     
2 mentions of the company Tesco on that list. Must remind myself to avoid that brand like the plague.

22 Feb 2013 08:51 PM
maxx2112     
Great . . . now I've got the Soap theme song stuck in my head.

Thanks, Subby.

22 Feb 2013 08:52 PM
MrHappyRotter     

ZAZ: It's not fair. I keep hoping for exotic spiders in my fruit and I never get any.


Or mot any exotic creatures.  Hell, I don't even demand they be particularly exotic.  But they do need to be alive.  Frogs, lizards, snakes, spiders, millipedes, crickets and centipedes -- any of the above would make me happy.

Those motherfarking goddamn annoying little sonsofbiatches fruit flies don't count.

22 Feb 2013 08:53 PM
MrEricSir     
It's a lot easier to put your husband's friend's finger that he recently lost into your soup at Wendy's and then sue over it.

22 Feb 2013 08:56 PM
AdolfOliverPanties     
2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

22 Feb 2013 08:58 PM
MrHappyRotter     
The worst thing I can remember seeing was a tin of sardines 1/2 filled with eggs.  I know caviar is a delicacy but that's not exactly something you should be sneaking into your product, with a consumer completely unaware and incapable of fathoming the possibility of those disgusting, mustard sauce slathered round globules of gelatin showing up once he or she pulls up on the tab and peers inside the can.

22 Feb 2013 08:59 PM
Ego edo infantia cattus     
I found a worm in my drink once, but I was too drunk to care.

22 Feb 2013 09:01 PM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
Had a friend discover a chunk of glass in his margarita one night. Luckily he noticed it wasn't ice before swallowing it or chomping down.

22 Feb 2013 09:05 PM
b0rg9     
Back in the 60's my grandmother got some of that pickled herring in wine sauce that had a wad of gum in it.

They sent her a complimentary case but she was done with eating that stuff from then on after that.

No lawsuits.  No news stories.  We weren't anywhere near as litigious then as we are nowadays.

22 Feb 2013 09:08 PM
Prey4reign    [TotalFark]  
1.  Carry a dead mouse or cockroach with you on your trip to the restaurant.

2.  Order the best meal in the house.

3.  Eat at least half of it.

4.  Begin shrieking at the top of your lungs.

5.  Profit.

22 Feb 2013 09:08 PM
sanriosucks     
Ummm, tooth sausage.

22 Feb 2013 09:12 PM
MrHappyRotter     

sanriosucks: Ummm, tooth sausage.


The tooth is probably one of the least disgusting ingredients in that sausage.  Certainly less disgusting than pork anuses and ovaries.

22 Feb 2013 09:15 PM
reklamfox     
Who eats french fries with a salad? Also, wouldn't a rotting bird corpse smell awful and alert whomever opened the bag that there is clearly something wrong before dumping it on a plate? So disgusting.

22 Feb 2013 09:15 PM
Bastard Toadflax     

reported: Why would you complain about getting a live frog in your packaged salad? That's proof the salad is very fresh (otherwise the frog would be dead) and you get a free pet (or snack if you like frog legs).


So much this.

/Hi, little guy! I'ma name you Herman.

22 Feb 2013 09:15 PM
WhippingBoy     
"Found" a mouse in a bottle of beer once:

21tattoo.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

22 Feb 2013 09:19 PM
Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist     
I thought these were going be more along the lines of "Red Dye #5 is made from crushed beetle testicles" and whatnot.

I can handle a random mouse being cooked into a loaf of bread.

22 Feb 2013 09:19 PM
reklamfox     

ZAZ: It's not fair. I keep hoping for exotic spiders in my fruit and I never get any.


I always hesitate a little before reaching for fruit at the store. I am so afraid a huge ass hairy spider will jump out from a bunch of bananas and bite my hand off. Exotic spiders can go to hell.

22 Feb 2013 09:19 PM
blakeosage     

medius: FirstNationalBastard: What, no jizz?

aww, you  noticed

/it's a new recipe


Did you get it from here?

static.lulu.comView Full Size

22 Feb 2013 09:19 PM
Uzzah     

maxx2112: Great . . . now I've got the Soap theme song stuck in my head..


I can see I'm not needed here. Carry on.

22 Feb 2013 09:23 PM
LordOfThePings     
www.intellectualbubblegum.comView Full Size

22 Feb 2013 09:28 PM
SpdrJay     
Try to think of these things as an added protein source.

22 Feb 2013 09:29 PM
A Terrible Human     
This obviously means we need far less regulation.

22 Feb 2013 09:29 PM
WhippingBoy     
This is why I only eat good ol' meat.

22 Feb 2013 09:30 PM
Alex Broughton Butt Chugger     
That wasn't an animal toe.... that was pretty clearly the tip of a finger.

22 Feb 2013 09:32 PM
Dragonflew     

Fade2black: 2 mentions of the company Tesco on that list. Must remind myself to avoid that brand like the plague.


Three.  #7 links to another article about Tesco, but I have a feeling that one may be BS.

But yeah, that's almost a third of the stories.

22 Feb 2013 09:32 PM
MrHappyRotter     
No one told me they'd be fingering my food like that.

22 Feb 2013 09:34 PM
The Irresponsible Captain    [TotalFark]  
LordOfThePings:
www.intellectualbubblegum.comView Full Size
 

Eh. I hear the taste varies from person to person.

22 Feb 2013 09:34 PM
medius     

b0rg9: We weren't anywhere near as litigious then as we are nowadays.


that sounds like libel

expect a letter from my attorney

22 Feb 2013 09:35 PM
medius     

blakeosage: medius: FirstNationalBastard: What, no jizz?

aww, you  noticed

/it's a new recipe

Did you get it from here?

[static.lulu.com image 403x320]


no, i got yer semen recipe right 'ere! ay!

...but the ones in that book are probably better

/thank you. come again

22 Feb 2013 09:36 PM
MrHappyRotter     

medius: blakeosage: medius: FirstNationalBastard: What, no jizz?

aww, you  noticed

/it's a new recipe

Did you get it from here?

[static.lulu.com image 403x320]

no, i got yer semen recipe right 'ere! ay!

...but the ones in that book are probably better

/thank you. come again


I once knew a guy.  Let's just say, I could get gallons of the stuff fresh from the tap.

22 Feb 2013 09:41 PM
NFA    [TotalFark]  

FirstNationalBastard: What, no jizz?


Sure, people find it they just don't mind.

22 Feb 2013 09:45 PM
gfbabbitt     

medius: FirstNationalBastard: What, no jizz?

aww, you  noticed

/it's a new recipe


But that's my binge food.

/prolly not obscure 'round here...

22 Feb 2013 09:48 PM
optikeye    [TotalFark]  
Nothing new...legally in the US products like peanut butter can contain parts of rat dropping, insect parts and rodent hair. All just trace amounts...but perfectly fine.

http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/0 5/06/29/how_many_insect_parts_an d_ rodent_hairs_are_allowed_in_your_food. htm

MACARONI AND NOODLE PRODUCTS

Insect filth:
Average of 225 insect fragments or more per 225 grams in 6 or more subsamples

Rodent filth: Average of 4.5 rodent hairs or more per 225 grams in 6 or more subsamples
PEANUT BUTTER
Insect filth:
Average of 30 or more insect fragments per 100 grams
Rodent filth: Average of 1 or more rodent hairs per 100 grams

22 Feb 2013 09:49 PM
katerbug72     

Prey4reign: 1.  Carry a dead mouse or cockroach with you on your trip to the restaurant.

2.  Order the best meal in the house.

3.  Eat at least half of it.

4.  Begin shrieking at the top of your lungs.

5.  Profit.


I saw that plot in Victor/Victoria.

kendawilliams.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


Damn she was hot in that movie.

22 Feb 2013 09:49 PM
aerojockey    [TotalFark]  
Challenge accepted.

22 Feb 2013 10:07 PM
DeerNuts     

MrHappyRotter: medius: blakeosage: medius: FirstNationalBastard: What, no jizz?

aww, you  noticed

/it's a new recipe

Did you get it from here?

[static.lulu.com image 403x320]

no, i got yer semen recipe right 'ere! ay!

...but the ones in that book are probably better

/thank you. come again

I once knew a guy.  Let's just say, I could get gallons of the stuff fresh from the tap.


Go on...

22 Feb 2013 10:18 PM
KrispyKritter     
Grandma used to say "you eat a pound of dirt before you die". Damn right I never ate her cooking.

22 Feb 2013 10:20 PM
Smgth     
WHY?! Why did click this link?!? WHY DID I READ THE THREAD?!?!!!!

/I'm clearly an idiot.
//Carry on you gross Farkers.

22 Feb 2013 10:24 PM
Obscenity Control Officer     

MrHappyRotter: sanriosucks: Ummm, tooth sausage.

The tooth is probably one of the least disgusting ingredients in that sausage.  Certainly less disgusting than pork anuses and ovaries.


Everything from the rooter to the tooter!

22 Feb 2013 10:47 PM
silvervial     

DeerNuts: MrHappyRotter: medius: blakeosage: medius: FirstNationalBastard: What, no jizz?

aww, you  noticed

/it's a new recipe

Did you get it from here?

[static.lulu.com image 403x320]

no, i got yer semen recipe right 'ere! ay!

...but the ones in that book are probably better

/thank you. come again

I once knew a guy.  Let's just say, I could get gallons of the stuff fresh from the tap.

Go on...


I was going to go with that, or maybe "pics or GTFO" or maybe "Gallons"? You could live off that.

22 Feb 2013 11:23 PM
machoprogrammer     
Horse meat is #1 and is worse than a live frog? Seriously? Are they retarded? Horse meat is eaten around the world.

22 Feb 2013 11:34 PM
Frederf     
I got a spider in my food but it was from a food truck so I don't think it counts.

22 Feb 2013 11:42 PM
Canton     

Bastard Toadflax: reported: Why would you complain about getting a live frog in your packaged salad? That's proof the salad is very fresh (otherwise the frog would be dead) and you get a free pet (or snack if you like frog legs).

So much this.

/Hi, little guy! I'ma name you Herman.


On the other hand frog pee.

And salmonella. But mostly the pee thing.

/And turds.
//Fresh salad, yes, but rather unclean.

23 Feb 2013 12:01 AM
Schroedinger's Glory Hole     

b0rg9: Back in the 60's my grandmother got some of that pickled herring in wine sauce that had a wad of gum in it.

They sent her a complimentary case but she was done with eating that stuff from then on after that.

No lawsuits.  No news stories.  We weren't anywhere near as litigious then as we are nowadays.


Yes, your grandmother lived in such an enlightened time.

23 Feb 2013 12:04 AM
tripleseven     
I've found a few weird things in foodstuffs over the years, the three ones that stick out in my mind are

1) A half of a grasshopper in my salad.  Yeah, I know, I may have eaten the other half.  Got it from the cafeteria at the place I used to work.  Eh, no real biggie, didn't make a big deal of it.  Just reported it to the kitchen, the chef kept the grasshopper.
2) I found a live beetle in my Dunkin Donuts Iced coffee.  It went into my mouth via the straw.  At first I assumed it was a coffee bean.  Until I spit it out and it crawled around in my hand.  Again, no big deal, I just showed it to the dudes behind the counter.
3) I once found a Rolaid(s) in may bag of Swedish fish.  Probably cross contamination from both being made at the same faccotry.  I did write  letter to the company, and send them the offending product.  They sent me a really nice box of candy.  No harm no foul.

I think though, the worst food experience I had was in college.

I was in the cafeteria, and had my hands full of stuff, I needed to grab a spoon,  so I went to the utensil island thingy, put some stuff down, grabbed a plastic spoon out of the holder, and to save space in my hands, I popped it into my mouth and set about collecting my other stuff from the table.  Within 2 seconds I knew something was wrong, and before I took the spoon out of my mouth, I know what it was.  It was a booger.  A dried booger, of unknown origin, on the spoon.


That one will haunt me.

23 Feb 2013 12:04 AM
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