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   "Please take your Farkin' Christmas lights down..... Don't make me tell you again. Thanks Biatch"

23 Feb 2013 01:22 AM   |   7206 clicks   |   Newsnet5
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davidphogan     
I have no idea how someone could care so much about someone else having Christmas lights up year round.  My neighbors have various colored lights up year round all over the front of their place.  Why should I give a shiat?  If she's 84 I might ask if she wants me to help her take them down, but that would be about the most I'd care.

If they install Xmas lights on MY windows or MY porch or MY dog, then I'll care.  Maybe.  Not if they're tasteful I guess, and seasonable.  Probably.

I digress.  The letter was really, really crass, but how was it threatening enough that the police really care?  Maybe the "don't make me tell you again" was the part that was threatening enough they want to investigate?  Maybe he just meant, "don't make me tell you again or I'll start decorating my house with strippers and taco trucks."  To me, strippers and taco trucks all over a neighborhood sounds like a great place to live, but I bet it would drive that woman crazy.

22 Feb 2013 11:57 PM
lack of warmth     

davidphogan: I have no idea how someone could care so much about someone else having Christmas lights up year round.  My neighbors have various colored lights up year round all over the front of their place.  Why should I give a shiat?  If she's 84 I might ask if she wants me to help her take them down, but that would be about the most I'd care.

If they install Xmas lights on MY windows or MY porch or MY dog, then I'll care.  Maybe.  Not if they're tasteful I guess, and seasonable.  Probably.

I digress.  The letter was really, really crass, but how was it threatening enough that the police really care?  Maybe the "don't make me tell you again" was the part that was threatening enough they want to investigate?  Maybe he just meant, "don't make me tell you again or I'll start decorating my house with strippers and taco trucks."  To me, strippers and taco trucks all over a neighborhood sounds like a great place to live, but I bet it would drive that woman crazy.


This.  Well not the strippers and taco trucks, but I digress.

Sure makes the sleep deprived snowplow driver Dogg seem downright civil.  However Dogg is not from Ohio either, which works to his behalf.  If the person wants the lights down so bad, they could've done it last night during the storm.

23 Feb 2013 12:24 AM
This About That    [TotalFark]  
Someone who cars that much that a LOL in the neighborhood likes her Christmas lights too much is a bit deranged if you ask me. When that somewhat deranged tells a LOL "don't make me tell you again", it's time to involve the police. So fingerprint the idiotic note and go have a talk with the sender. Then send them a bill for the cost. Call it the "asshat tax".

23 Feb 2013 12:36 AM
jaylectricity    [TotalFark]  
I can't take my lights down until the rest of my jack-o-lantern rots away.

23 Feb 2013 01:04 AM
illannoyin     
do you want the family man or do you want the swingin' man?

family man

you get the family man
family man
FAMILY man
with your glances my way, takin no chance on the new day
family man,with your life all planned;
your little sand castle built, smilin through your guilt, family man
here i come
here i come family man
i come to infect; i come to rape your women;
i come to take your children into the street;
i come for YOU family man, with your christmas lights already up,
your such a MAN when your puttin up your christmas lights,
first on the block;

23 Feb 2013 01:24 AM
gadian     
I'd leave 'em up longer just to piss the neighbor off.  YOU don't tell me when to take my lights off of my house.  Unless we live in some Nazi HOA, then I'll bend over and let you fark me in the ass while I take them down to suit your sensibilities.

23 Feb 2013 01:26 AM
Bill_Wick's_Friend     
Having your lights up all year is kinda white trashy, but it's not my house so I don't care what my neighbours do.

Threatening little old ladies in anonymous notes is douchebaggery of the highest order. Doing so over Xmas lights!? Time for anger management classes.

23 Feb 2013 01:27 AM
Yuri Futanari     
I hope her neighbors put all their Christmas lights back up.

23 Feb 2013 01:27 AM
MFAWG    [TotalFark]  

jaylectricity: I can't take my lights down until the rest of my jack-o-lantern rots away.


EXACTLY!

23 Feb 2013 01:27 AM
BarkingUnicorn     

jaylectricity: I can't take my lights down until the rest of my jack-o-lantern rots away.


I can't take mine down until the last Easter egg is found.

23 Feb 2013 01:31 AM
LordOfThePings     
I'm glad the cops are still investigation.

23 Feb 2013 01:33 AM
Fista-Phobia     
mlkshk.comView Full Size

23 Feb 2013 01:34 AM
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier    [TotalFark]  

jaylectricity: I can't take my lights down until the rest of my jack-o-lantern rots away.


Use your leftover 4th of July fireworks to speed that up significantly.

23 Feb 2013 01:35 AM
fusillade762     
84-year-old Elyria woman

24.media.tumblr.comView Full Size


I wouldn't mess with her if you know what's good for you.

23 Feb 2013 01:35 AM
OhioUGrad     

BarkingUnicorn: jaylectricity: I can't take my lights down until the rest of my jack-o-lantern rots away.

I can't take mine down until the last Easter egg is found.


Guess I shouldn't take mine down until I sober up from St Patrick's Day.

23 Feb 2013 01:36 AM
megarian    [TotalFark]  

LordOfThePings: I'm glad the cops are still investigation.


*snerk*

23 Feb 2013 01:36 AM
ArcadianRefugee     
They're not Christmas lights. They're now Valentine's St Paddy's April Fools Cinco de Mayo [...] lights.

/fark you, crazy person

23 Feb 2013 01:37 AM
iheartscotch     
Yeaaahh; threatening L.O.Ls ( little old ladies); probably some busy body neighbor threw the hedges.

/ mind they don't shoot you with an armidilla gun

// intentional misspelling; it's a reference to a movie

23 Feb 2013 01:38 AM
Mike Chewbacca     
Eh, if you leave your Christmas lights up all year round then they're no longer Christmas lights, ya know? When everyone's special, no one is.

23 Feb 2013 01:40 AM
uncoveror     
They're not Christmas lights, they're holiday lights. There is a holiday of some sort every month but August. Right now, they are in transition from being President's Day lights to being St. Patrick's day lights.

23 Feb 2013 01:42 AM
Krieghund     

Bill_Wick's_Friend: Having your lights up all year is kinda white trashy


I don't think "white trash" applies in this case.

23 Feb 2013 01:42 AM
LikeALeafOnTheWind     
i thought presidents day lights were appropriate... no? well ok, but what about millard fillmore?

23 Feb 2013 01:48 AM
think_balance     

LordOfThePings: I'm glad the cops are still investigation.


That whole sentence is gold.

"Police have not named suspect, but said they are still investigation."

23 Feb 2013 01:49 AM
KrispyKritter     
Old woman loving life while she still can. Go granny go.

Neighbor two houses over has had at least 1huge tow-behind camper in his driveway since moving in 4 years ago. Sometimes they have 2. Never 0, not once. Looks like hell. Fark 'em. Evidently they are too stupid to just sell the thing they are not using and enjoy the money.

23 Feb 2013 01:50 AM
Happy Hours     

Bill_Wick's_Friend: Having your lights up all year is kinda white trashy, but it's not my house so I don't care what my neighbours do.


That's racist! And she didn't look white either.

But yeah - her house, her lights. She can do what she wants.

If you get so upset about xmas lights on your neighbors house that you threaten an old lady you should seek help.

Now, if you set up speakers in front of your house and crank up some Xmas music and stand in front of my house which is across the street so you can watch your specially audio-synchronized light show late at night and after it's over start yelling encore I will open the door and suggest an encore is not in order.

They did it again this year, but not so late at night and they kept the volume down so I didn't say a word to them.

/csb?

23 Feb 2013 01:53 AM
Acharne     

think_balance: LordOfThePings: I'm glad the cops are still investigation.

That whole sentence is gold.

"Police have not named suspect, but said they are still investigation."


Halfway though that last word I retconned the whole article in a Jamaican accent.

23 Feb 2013 01:54 AM
bingethinker     
I drive home from work shortly after midnight every week night. I like that there are still some lights wired up in some trees on the way home. It's pretty and fun, and non-boring. People that are upset about this need to get a life, or at least a sex life.

23 Feb 2013 01:58 AM
avratt     
The original reason for "Solstice Lights", before the christians hijacked the holiday from the Pagans, was to brighten the dreary, dark days of winter...all of winter.

23 Feb 2013 01:58 AM
thorthor     
Ain't no law bout bein a redneck. And that's the fact, jack.

Unless you are controlled by a Nazi HOA. In that case, move.

23 Feb 2013 01:59 AM
YouSirAreAMaroon     

iheartscotch: Yeaaahh; threatening L.O.Ls ( little old ladies); probably some busy body neighbor threw the hedges.

/ mind they don't shoot you with an armidilla gun

// intentional misspelling; it's a reference to a movie


Which one was intended?

23 Feb 2013 02:00 AM
ArcadianRefugee     

uncoveror: They're not Christmas lights, they're holiday lights. There is a holiday of some sort every month but August. Right now, they are in transition from being President's Day lights to being St. Patrick's day lights.


Except August? Au contraire!

http://www.holidayinsights.com/morehol idays/august.htm

23 Feb 2013 02:03 AM
HBK     

This About That: Someone who cars that much that a LOL in the neighborhood likes her Christmas lights too much is a bit deranged if you ask me. When that somewhat deranged tells a LOL "don't make me tell you again", it's time to involve the police. So fingerprint the idiotic note and go have a talk with the sender. Then send them a bill for the cost. Call it the "asshat tax".


Your post makes little sense.  Half of your sentences aren't even sentences. Why do you keep laughing out loud at this poor, elderly woman's tragedy? You're pretty heartless.

23 Feb 2013 02:07 AM
FizixJunkee     

uncoveror: They're not Christmas lights, they're holiday lights. There is a holiday of some sort every month but August. Right now, they are in transition from being President's Day lights to being St. Patrick's day lights.


Actually, it's Purim right now.

23 Feb 2013 02:15 AM
Bathysphere     
If they are farking blinky lights that you can see through reasonable curtains, then take em down. Otherwise, who cares?

23 Feb 2013 02:15 AM
MaliFinn     
My xmas lights are still up and they're gonna stay up until spring.  It's farking cold outside.

23 Feb 2013 02:17 AM
Charles_Nelson_Reilly     

lack of warmth: davidphogan: I have no idea how someone could care so much about someone else having Christmas lights up year round.  My neighbors have various colored lights up year round all over the front of their place.  Why should I give a shiat?  If she's 84 I might ask if she wants me to help her take them down, but that would be about the most I'd care.

If they install Xmas lights on MY windows or MY porch or MY dog, then I'll care.  Maybe.  Not if they're tasteful I guess, and seasonable.  Probably.

I digress.  The letter was really, really crass, but how was it threatening enough that the police really care?  Maybe the "don't make me tell you again" was the part that was threatening enough they want to investigate?  Maybe he just meant, "don't make me tell you again or I'll start decorating my house with strippers and taco trucks."  To me, strippers and taco trucks all over a neighborhood sounds like a great place to live, but I bet it would drive that woman crazy.

This.  Well not the strippers and taco trucks, but I digress.

Sure makes the sleep deprived snowplow driver Dogg seem downright civil.  However Dogg is not from Ohio either, which works to his behalf.  If the person wants the lights down so bad, they could've done it last night during the storm.


This. Well not the snowplow driver or Ohio, but I digress.

If people want to disorient the real deer walking abound their yards with plastic lighted reindeer, throwing dog poo on their roof every night in the hope that Saint Nick soon would be there, that's their business. I've got a farm to run.

23 Feb 2013 02:17 AM
Fista-Phobia     

Bathysphere: If


Exactly.

23 Feb 2013 02:17 AM
Curt Blizzah     
a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.comView Full Size


It's Clobberin' Time!

23 Feb 2013 02:18 AM
This About That    [TotalFark]  

HBK: You're pretty heartless.


All I'm saying is that if deer had tail lights many of them would live longer. Why not Christmas lights on a LOL?

23 Feb 2013 02:19 AM
TwowheelinTim    [TotalFark]  

Yuri Futanari: I hope her neighbors put all their Christmas lights back up.


I LOVE this idea!

23 Feb 2013 02:25 AM
TwowheelinTim    [TotalFark]  

OhioUGrad: BarkingUnicorn: jaylectricity: I can't take my lights down until the rest of my jack-o-lantern rots away.

I can't take mine down until the last Easter egg is found.

Guess I shouldn't take mine down until I sober up from the holidays, some time around St Patrick's Day.

FTFY


23 Feb 2013 02:27 AM
Torion!    [TotalFark]  
ambiance.
that little smile of satisfaction when you plug the bug zapper into the end of your christmas lights.
seasonings.

23 Feb 2013 02:38 AM
HBK     

This About That: HBK: You're pretty heartless.

All I'm saying is that if deer had tail lights many of them would live longer. Why not Christmas lights on a LOL?


Again, you make no sense.  Are you retarded, or is it a form of tourette's or something? You keep laughing out loud before you finish your sentences.

23 Feb 2013 02:51 AM
Dahnkster     
I BET THE JEWS Q'S DID THIS!
www.therealstevegray.comView Full Size



23 Feb 2013 02:55 AM
Harry_Seldon     
I read stories like this, and it reinforces my decision to buy a home with a well run HOA.

Concerning the particular story. I would ask my neighbors to help the 84 year old woman take down and put up her lights every year, or help pay to have it done professionally myself. No big deal.

23 Feb 2013 03:00 AM
This About That    [TotalFark]  

HBK: Again, you make no sense.


You take yourself very seriously, don't you?

23 Feb 2013 03:04 AM
Happy Hours     

Dahnkster: I BET THE JEWS Q'S DID THIS!
[www.therealstevegray.com image 501x317]


There's no way I'm believing that's real, but it is awesome.

HBK: This About That: Someone who cars that much that a LOL in the neighborhood likes her Christmas lights too much is a bit deranged if you ask me. When that somewhat deranged tells a LOL "don't make me tell you again", it's time to involve the police. So fingerprint the idiotic note and go have a talk with the sender. Then send them a bill for the cost. Call it the "asshat tax".

Your post makes little sense.  Half of your sentences aren't even sentences. Why do you keep laughing out loud at this poor, elderly woman's tragedy? You're pretty heartless.


Not sure if serious. I guess this is one advantage to being somewhat of an old fart and having enough critical thinking skills to imagine that LOL might stand for something other than laughing out loud. I consider 84 old and she is a lady. Maybe she's even little. lol

23 Feb 2013 03:04 AM
vwarb     

HBK: This About That: HBK: You're pretty heartless.

All I'm saying is that if deer had tail lights many of them would live longer. Why not Christmas lights on a LOL?

Again, you make no sense.  Are you retarded, or is it a form of tourette's or something? You keep laughing out loud before you finish your sentences.


On the off chance you're not just being annoyingly obtuse, LOL stands for little old lady.

23 Feb 2013 03:23 AM
Green Scorpio     
It was probably from her HOA

23 Feb 2013 03:27 AM
Ed Grubermann    [TotalFark]  
shiat like this is why people are starting to hate Christmas. Can we restrict Teh Season!!! to one month? Please?

23 Feb 2013 03:30 AM
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