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   University seeks healthy folk aged 25-40 who've never used drugs, to snort coke

23 Feb 2013 11:42 AM   |   4859 clicks   |   Independent
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Alphax     
'Just say Yes?'

23 Feb 2013 06:28 AM
Because People in power are Stupid    [TotalFark]  
What a GIS for "Coke Addict" may look like:

farm5.staticflickr.comView Full Size

23 Feb 2013 08:38 AM
basemetal    [TotalFark]  
The researches will be sick of all of the jabbering and grandiose plans of the test subjects.

23 Feb 2013 09:31 AM
theflatline    [TotalFark]  
Is it stepped on?

23 Feb 2013 11:44 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
Are they planning on legalizing it over there?

23 Feb 2013 11:45 AM
Mentalpatient87     
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

23 Feb 2013 11:46 AM
StreetlightInTheGhetto     
I'd wager it would depend on the financial compensation. Although honestly, if you're 36 and last smoked pot in college, you could just, you know, lie.

I think less likely to get healthy and willing folk who haven't used drugs is getting all of that plus "no medical history".  Good effing luck there!

23 Feb 2013 11:47 AM
thorthor     
Will there be female reasearch assistant's bottoms to snort the aforementioned cocaine off of?

23 Feb 2013 11:47 AM
Karma Curmudgeon     
That's a helluva study.

23 Feb 2013 11:47 AM
had98c     

StreetlightInTheGhetto: I'd wager it would depend on the financial compensation. Although honestly, if you're 36 and last smoked pot in college, you could just, you know, lie.

I think less likely to get healthy and willing folk who haven't used drugs is getting all of that plus "no medical history".  Good effing luck there!


I'm a 25-40 male who has never used drugs and has no medical history. There's no way I'd touch this with a 10 ft pole. So yeah, good luck.

23 Feb 2013 11:50 AM
5monkeys    [TotalFark]  
Why would anyone volunteer for this? If by 25-40 you haven't used drugs what would motivate you to think taking an addictive substance for research would be a good idea? I am 33 and haven't used drugs, and no amount of financial compensation would make me think this was a good idea.

23 Feb 2013 11:51 AM
Nogale     
25-40? Check
Fit and healthy? Check
Never done drugs? Check

So I guess I'm an ideal candidate. Well, except for having no desire whatsoever to try coke. I've never heard anything about a cocaine high that makes it sound even remotely appealing.

Heroin, on the other hand, sounds amazing but I'd never take the risk.

23 Feb 2013 11:52 AM
snocone    [TotalFark]  
Tricky Dickie sez:

It is not bad for you when we do it.

23 Feb 2013 11:53 AM
Quantum Apostrophe     
What's magic about 40? I've met people that look 50 at 30.

23 Feb 2013 11:53 AM
Nogale     
Also, how are they getting around the legal issues of procuring/administering an illegal substance?

23 Feb 2013 11:53 AM
ShobuZukuri     
demotivationalpost.comView Full Size

23 Feb 2013 11:54 AM
snocone    [TotalFark]  

Nogale: 25-40? Check
Fit and healthy? Check
Never done drugs? Check

So I guess I'm an ideal candidate. Well, except for having no desire whatsoever to try coke. I've never heard anything about a cocaine high that makes it sound even remotely appealing.

Heroin, on the other hand, sounds amazing but I'd never take the risk.


Umm, what risk?
If product was clean, delivery proper, what is the percieved risk?
Truthfully curious.

23 Feb 2013 11:55 AM
Nogale     

snocone: Nogale: 25-40? Check
Fit and healthy? Check
Never done drugs? Check

So I guess I'm an ideal candidate. Well, except for having no desire whatsoever to try coke. I've never heard anything about a cocaine high that makes it sound even remotely appealing.

Heroin, on the other hand, sounds amazing but I'd never take the risk.

Umm, what risk?
If product was clean, delivery proper, what is the percieved risk?
Truthfully curious.


Addiction?

23 Feb 2013 11:59 AM
sanriosucks     
Yeah, no one starts into science thinking they'll get addicted, but then it's two studies a month, then three, and the next thing you know you're stealing from your own mama to get some research done.

23 Feb 2013 11:59 AM
ltdanman44     

5monkeys: Why would anyone volunteer for this? If by 25-40 you haven't used drugs what would motivate you to think taking an addictive substance for research would be a good idea? I am 33 and haven't used drugs, and no amount of financial compensation would make me think this was a good idea.


Rule#98. Every man has his price.

23 Feb 2013 12:02 PM
derpy     
cdn.bleacherreport.netView Full Size

Approves.

/hotter than the '86 Celtics would have been

23 Feb 2013 12:06 PM
FlyingBacon     
No way I am touching those shiat. I know what it did to my boss and not going to let it happens to me.

23 Feb 2013 12:09 PM
meow said the dog    [TotalFark]  

had98c: I'm a 25-40 male who has never used drugs and has no medical history. There's no way I'd touch this with a 10 ft pole. So yeah, good luck.


Well this one person has done the refusal so I guess it is time to do the shutting down of the study because if one person does not show the interest then no one would possibly do this.

23 Feb 2013 12:09 PM
J. Frank Parnell     
i.imgur.comView Full Size

23 Feb 2013 12:10 PM
barnacleboy     
Why would you do that?
You get a small amount of free coke
Reasonable expenses but I doubt that will be much

You have to get prodded and sampled by scientists which would completely ruin the experience, the only benefit of joining this study would be to contribute to science.

Either just buy some and try it out, or dont bother and do something better with your time.

23 Feb 2013 12:11 PM
Iamos     

snocone:  
Umm, what risk?
If product was clean, delivery proper, what is the percieved risk?
Truthfully curious.


Aside from addiction potential, there's also the possible loss of professional license.

/why does fark hate the iPad now?

23 Feb 2013 12:12 PM
snocone    [TotalFark]  

Nogale: snocone: Nogale: 25-40? Check
Fit and healthy? Check
Never done drugs? Check

So I guess I'm an ideal candidate. Well, except for having no desire whatsoever to try coke. I've never heard anything about a cocaine high that makes it sound even remotely appealing.

Heroin, on the other hand, sounds amazing but I'd never take the risk.

Umm, what risk?
If product was clean, delivery proper, what is the percieved risk?
Truthfully curious.

Addiction?


A manageable side effect.
Addiction is, unfortunately, a spectrum of vulnerability and behavior by humans.
This makes wholesale treatment impossible.
The chemical changes are difficult to seperate from the emotional issues and individual response.
But, chemically, it is manageable by a reasonable individual.
Don't misunderstand, this is playing with fire.
Long term severe pain management is a hobby of mine, used to be a full time practice.

23 Feb 2013 12:20 PM
meow said the dog    [TotalFark]  

Iamos: Aside from addiction potential


LAUGHTER OD.A.R.E.

23 Feb 2013 12:22 PM
snocone    [TotalFark]  

barnacleboy: Why would you do that?
You get a small amount of free coke
Reasonable expenses but I doubt that will be much

You have to get prodded and sampled by scientists which would completely ruin the experience, the only benefit of joining this study would be to contribute to science.

Either just buy some and try it out, or dont bother and do something better with your time.


DejaVu
1966, U of M. Psychology grad students dosing other students with the alphabet soup of the day and confining them to a 8x8 sterile room for observation.
Yea, science.

23 Feb 2013 12:22 PM
snocone    [TotalFark]  

Iamos: snocone:  
Umm, what risk?
If product was clean, delivery proper, what is the percieved risk?
Truthfully curious.

Aside from addiction potential, there's also the possible loss of professional license.

/why does fark hate the iPad now?


You ate the poppyseed muffin, eh?

23 Feb 2013 12:24 PM
barnacleboy     

snocone: barnacleboy: Why would you do that?
You get a small amount of free coke
Reasonable expenses but I doubt that will be much

You have to get prodded and sampled by scientists which would completely ruin the experience, the only benefit of joining this study would be to contribute to science.

Either just buy some and try it out, or dont bother and do something better with your time.

DejaVu
1966, U of M. Psychology grad students dosing other students with the alphabet soup of the day and confining them to a 8x8 sterile room for observation.
Yea, science.


There is no real upside.
But IIRC i think in the UK the "expenses" thing may be a ruse as they cant legally pay for it or something.
If you could get a few hundered quid then im sure some hard up students would sign up.

23 Feb 2013 12:27 PM
MNguy    [TotalFark]  
had98c:
I'm a 25-40 male who has never used drugs and has no medical history. There's no way I'd touch this with a 10 ft pole. So yeah, good luck.

Oh, just try it.  Just this once.  It's not gonna hurt you.  What are you afraid of?  Don't be a party pooper.

23 Feb 2013 12:27 PM
mrwombat     
Somebody gave me a red bull in a styrofoam cup once and I thought I was going to die, I don't think I could handle this.

23 Feb 2013 12:28 PM
louiedog     

barnacleboy: Why would you do that?
You get a small amount of free coke
Reasonable expenses but I doubt that will be much

You have to get prodded and sampled by scientists which would completely ruin the experience, the only benefit of joining this study would be to contribute to science.

Either just buy some and try it out, or dont bother and do something better with your time.


I wonder what they mean by reasonable expenses. I was an undergrad at a university with a prestigious med school attached. This was years ago and easy 30-60 minute studies would pay $40+. MRI studies could pay $100 or more for 45 minutes of time and a sleep study where they kept you awake for 2+ days could get you $1200.

I didn't make myself a human guinea pig, but I subscribed to a list of these things because some of them were zero risk and paid pretty well. I know people now who are in med school or work as researchers at universities and some of them don't pay as well as those studies that I listed did 10 years ago. I don't know if it's the economy that means more people signing up for lower prices, or if it's just based on the particular institution, but "reasonable expenses" may be nothing to sneeze at.

23 Feb 2013 12:33 PM
highrye     

MNguy: had98c:
I'm a 25-40 male who has never used drugs and has no medical history. There's no way I'd touch this with a 10 ft pole. So yeah, good luck.

Oh, just try it.  Just this once.  It's not gonna hurt you.  What are you afraid of?  Don't be a party pooper.


Seriously, this.  Your chances of getting hooked on cocaine from doing it in a lab setting are about the same as getting hooked on cigarettes by trying them in a lab setting.  Approaching zero.

23 Feb 2013 12:34 PM
Iamos     

snocone: Iamos: snocone:  
Umm, what risk?
If product was clean, delivery proper, what is the percieved risk?
Truthfully curious.

Aside from addiction potential, there's also the possible loss of professional license.

/why does fark hate the iPad now?

You ate the poppyseed muffin, eh?


Well, they are delicious, I just had to eat twelve of them!

23 Feb 2013 12:37 PM
Reginald Cumberbatch     
mrwombat: Somebody gave me a red bull in a styrofoam cup once and I thought I was going to die, I don't think I could handle this.

That wasn't Red Bull.

23 Feb 2013 12:39 PM
KrispyKritter     
research powder is probably the cleanest nicest toot you'll ever see. there's just never enough of it.

23 Feb 2013 12:39 PM
Ooba Tooba     
I'LL DO IT! I'LL DO IT RIGHT NOW IF YOU WANT.LET'S DO THIS! NOW!

23 Feb 2013 12:46 PM
GranoblasticMan     
SIGN ME THE F*CK UP!

/27
//no cocaine or anything
///just Adderall and booze

23 Feb 2013 12:47 PM
geekbikerskum     
From the description of the study (repeated biological samples over the course of a month plus no cutting or dyeing your hair for 120 days) it sounds like they're trying to study the efficacy and accuracy of the sort of commercial drug screens that are commonly used to check whether applicants for employment, people in military service, parolees, etc., are using illegal drugs.

I don't know about Britain but in the U.S., cocaine is Schedule II, meaning that it's highly restricted but has some legitimate medical uses.  It's sometimes used as an anaesthetic for nose surgery, oddly enough, although it's slowly being replaced by "safer" alternatives.  (Which, a quick Google search tells me, have to be combined with a vasoconstrictor to achieve the same effect.)

Again, I don't know about Britain, but in the U.S. there are ways to do legitimate scientific research with drugs that are otherwise illegal.  There are a lot of restrictions and hoops you have to jump through to do it, but it can be done.

23 Feb 2013 12:47 PM
Fromageball     

snocone: A manageable side effect.
Addiction is, unfortunately, a spectrum of vulnerability and behavior by humans.
This makes wholesale treatment impossible.
The chemical changes are difficult to seperate from the emotional issues and individual response.
But, chemically, it is manageable by a reasonable individual.
Don't misunderstand, this is playing with fire.
Long term severe pain management is a hobby of mine, used to be a full time practice.


Seems like if someone thought it was worth it to have to manage this "side effect," he/she would have already tried heroin/coke/whatever...surely the idea of trying coke/heroin/whatever has occurred to most people before entering this age group.

For me (a person who would be another ideal candidate for this study) it wouldn't even be about financial compensation. People I know who have tried coke once have said that they think they would have a hard time refusing it if it were offered to them again. Not to mention some people like myself who have never tried drugs have also never had much curiosity about using them. If I had been curious about them I would have tried them at some point, which would disqualify me from this study anyway.

So, good luck to them...

23 Feb 2013 12:53 PM
Jon iz teh kewl     

Because People in power are Stupid: What a GIS for "Coke Addict" may look like:

[farm5.staticflickr.com image 640x427]


what a coke addict ACTUALLY looks like

www.funny22.comView Full Size

23 Feb 2013 12:54 PM
JohnnyRebel88    [TotalFark]  

derpy: [cdn.bleacherreport.net image 650x440]
Approves.

/hotter than the '86 Celtics would have been


Correct. That was a shame and let's also not forget Reggie Lewis as well.

23 Feb 2013 12:57 PM
foxyshadis     
Their parents asked for this, honestly, naming them Joan, Jane, and Janine. Goddam boomers.

23 Feb 2013 12:57 PM
foxyshadis     

foxyshadis: Their parents asked for this, honestly, naming them Joan, Jane, and Janine. Goddam boomers.


Oh, I skimmed over the part where their parents were John and Jean. I bet everyone thought it was the most precious family in the world when they were little girls. I'd snap too.

23 Feb 2013 01:00 PM
JohnnyRebel88    [TotalFark]  

KrispyKritter: research powder is probably the cleanest nicest toot you'll ever see. there's just never enough of it.


I love using the word "toot" and don't hear it frequently.  I thought it was regional at one point, are you from the Northeast?  I haven't had any good toot since my guy was deported back to the Dominican Republic.

23 Feb 2013 01:00 PM
Nogale     

snocone: Nogale: snocone: Nogale: 25-40? Check
Fit and healthy? Check
Never done drugs? Check

So I guess I'm an ideal candidate. Well, except for having no desire whatsoever to try coke. I've never heard anything about a cocaine high that makes it sound even remotely appealing.

Heroin, on the other hand, sounds amazing but I'd never take the risk.

Umm, what risk?
If product was clean, delivery proper, what is the percieved risk?
Truthfully curious.

Addiction?

A manageable side effect.
Addiction is, unfortunately, a spectrum of vulnerability and behavior by humans.
This makes wholesale treatment impossible.
The chemical changes are difficult to seperate from the emotional issues and individual response.
But, chemically, it is manageable by a reasonable individual.
Don't misunderstand, this is playing with fire.
Long term severe pain management is a hobby of mine, used to be a full time practice.


Yeah, I find that life throws people enough curve balls that need to be "managed." Why give yourself another one? I've put so much effort in these past three years getting myself in shape and plan to run my first marathon in three weeks. Why ruin all that?

I'll take my highs from endorphins, thanks.

23 Feb 2013 01:01 PM
Jon iz teh kewl     

Nogale: snocone: Nogale: snocone: Nogale: 25-40? Check
Fit and healthy? Check
Never done drugs? Check

So I guess I'm an ideal candidate. Well, except for having no desire whatsoever to try coke. I've never heard anything about a cocaine high that makes it sound even remotely appealing.

Heroin, on the other hand, sounds amazing but I'd never take the risk.

Umm, what risk?
If product was clean, delivery proper, what is the percieved risk?
Truthfully curious.

Addiction?

A manageable side effect.
Addiction is, unfortunately, a spectrum of vulnerability and behavior by humans.
This makes wholesale treatment impossible.
The chemical changes are difficult to seperate from the emotional issues and individual response.
But, chemically, it is manageable by a reasonable individual.
Don't misunderstand, this is playing with fire.
Long term severe pain management is a hobby of mine, used to be a full time practice.

Yeah, I find that life throws people enough curve balls that need to be "managed." Why give yourself another one? I've put so much effort in these past three years getting myself in shape and plan to run my first marathon in three weeks. Why ruin all that?

I'll take my highs from endorphins, thanks.


yeah but don't you want to HAVE SEX with random strangers?  british ones at that??

23 Feb 2013 01:07 PM
highrye     

foxyshadis: foxyshadis: Their parents asked for this, honestly, naming them Joan, Jane, and Janine. Goddam boomers.

Oh, I skimmed over the part where their parents were John and Jean. I bet everyone thought it was the most precious family in the world when they were little girls. I'd snap too.


nice alt work on the wrong thread, dumbass.

23 Feb 2013 01:08 PM
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