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   There are crazy people, then there are those who make their own personal theme park, like these three

23 Feb 2013 03:42 PM   |   13341 clicks   |   Cracked
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Xcott     
The "seasteader" movement doesn't seem to make any sense.  Escaping minimum wage and firearms restrictions by living on a large platform in international waters?

First of all, who the Hell are you going to pay minimum wage on your little platform?  To do what?  To work in the factory that doesn't fit anywhere?  Why not just move to Saipan, which already has an extensive sweatshop industry and a perfectly bribeable government?

Second, if you're away from society on floating platform, firearms serve zero purpose except for addressing the problem you just created by moving into international waters.

23 Feb 2013 02:53 PM
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
I remember some guy planning a libertarian artificial island 20 years ago. I encouraged the planning, because it was interesting to watch the attempt to design workable laws, but I never thought it would fly float because you need other countries to recognize your country.

Without being recognized as an independent state the island is just some guys hanging out on a boat. If the artificial island is legally a stateless vessel then the American military can enforce American drug smuggling laws in international waters. Otherwise the Marines can come ashore and enforce U.S. law against U.S. citizens. Like that per capita health care tax you didn't pay.

23 Feb 2013 03:12 PM
FloydA     
Personally, I hope that all three projects go ahead.  I would love to see how the rest of America survives after all of the bootstrappy rugged Randian libertarian wealthy people leave to stake out their own private Galt's Gulches.

I mean it, I am dead serious, I really would love to see a United States that didn't have these fine, upstanding, self-reliant people in it.

23 Feb 2013 03:35 PM
tracy     
This is a personal theme park created by a crazy person:  The Orange Show:   http://orangeshow.org/orange-show-mon ument/

/best thing in Houston

23 Feb 2013 03:53 PM
BLEMDAR     
Ra's al ghul will be contributing lazarus pits to all locations.

23 Feb 2013 03:54 PM
shintochick     
Don't the rules for the Citadel already exist in rural Idaho?

23 Feb 2013 03:55 PM
bighairyguy    [TotalFark]  
Seems to be kind of politically one-sided in the amusement park world, which begs the question, would you rather live in a world of nutjob amusement parks or a world of no amusement parks?

23 Feb 2013 03:57 PM
A Terrible Human     
Ahahahahah all three of them are those crazy libertarian projects. The threads about them on SA featured some fantastic stories written about how people imagined life would be on them. One of the collections is called On Golden Waters,yes it's a collection of stories by a bunch of goons but it was awesome. There is also another set of stories from the Glenn Beck thread they have which are great too.

23 Feb 2013 03:57 PM
Prey4reign    [TotalFark]  
WHAR MICHAEL JACKSON?  WHAR?

/realize he's dead

//he did build his own personal Pedoworld

23 Feb 2013 03:59 PM
Professor Science     
Yeah, well, I'm gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers! In fact, forget the park.

23 Feb 2013 03:59 PM
b0rg9     
Meh, Columbia will be here later next month.

23 Feb 2013 04:00 PM
the ha ha guy     
So when their island gets raided by pirates who have the financial backing of the international free market, are they going to be all bootstrappy and rely on their small guns to drive off the invaders? Or will they get angry that the ebil librul muslin Kenyan socialist usurper Mr. Farbongo McCommie didn't use his magic time machine to come rescue them?

23 Feb 2013 04:00 PM
SpdrJay     
South Park did it!

23 Feb 2013 04:06 PM
boobsrgood     
I have one, too. In mine, we excavate a 30-story basement under a Wal-Mart. It's just that easy.

23 Feb 2013 04:08 PM
NickBush24    [TotalFark]  
Andrew Ryan noticeably absent.

23 Feb 2013 04:13 PM
randomjsa     
Gotta love the response to the Citadel... its the "wild west in the streets!" argument.

'They're letting people carry guns... it will be the wild west! Shoot outs in the streets!'

It doesn't happen and then the next time somebody proposes letting people carry guns

'They're letting people carry guns... it will be the wild west! Shoot outs in the streets!'

It doesn't happen and then the next time...

Repeat this about a 1000x

Then roll your eyes when you see 1001 on Cracked.

23 Feb 2013 04:14 PM
UsikFark     

bighairyguy: Seems to be kind of politically one-sided in the amusement park world, which begs the question, would you rather live in a world of nutjob amusement parks or a world of no amusement parks?


You're forgetting casinos, which are built by respectable businessmen.

23 Feb 2013 04:16 PM
A Terrible Human     

randomjsa: Gotta love the response to the Citadel... its the "wild west in the streets!" argument.


It's still a farking stupid idea that seems like a scam. I mean look at how they want to set it up.

23 Feb 2013 04:17 PM
RY28     
The Seastead sounds pretty cool . You would be able to take a dump right in the ocean which is nice .

23 Feb 2013 04:19 PM
JohnCarter     
They forgot one

3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

23 Feb 2013 04:21 PM
poorjon     
Including a panic room in every house is a selling point? Are they claiming that their community is so unsafe that you should expect large numbers of homes to be invaded so frequently that they all need panic rooms?

23 Feb 2013 04:22 PM
UsikFark     

RY28: The Seastead sounds pretty cool . You would be able to take a dump right in the ocean which is nice .


Not if you build it here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_P acific_Garbage_Patch

23 Feb 2013 04:22 PM
taoistlumberjak     

randomjsa: Gotta love the response to the Citadel... its the "wild west in the streets!" argument.

'They're letting people carry guns... it will be the wild west! Shoot outs in the streets!'

It doesn't happen and then the next time somebody proposes letting people carry guns

'They're letting people carry guns... it will be the wild west! Shoot outs in the streets!'

It doesn't happen and then the next time...

Repeat this about a 1000x

Then roll your eyes when you see 1001 on Cracked.


Actually, what's going to happen is a rash of people shooting themselves either while cleaning their gun, or "while cleaning their gun."  That's still tragic, but there a lot of people who are going to be full of schadenfreude with that.

I think the most tragic part of the citadel is that these people are so paranoid about outside life that they have to live in a walled compound.  That speaks of mental illness.

23 Feb 2013 04:23 PM
A Terrible Human     

taoistlumberjak: I think the most tragic part of the citadel is that these people are so paranoid about outside life that they have to live in a walled compound. That speaks of mental illness.


Yeah. Walling yourself up away from the world isn't healthy at all.

23 Feb 2013 04:25 PM
StrangeQ     
The most commonly proposed Seasteads would have no welfare, no minimum wage, loose building codes, and minimal weapon restrictions and will terrify anyone who's ever played BioShock.

I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.

23 Feb 2013 04:27 PM
poorjon     

A Terrible Human: Yeah. Walling yourself up away from the world isn't healthy at all.


Tear down the wall!

Tear down the wall!

Tear down the wall!

23 Feb 2013 04:35 PM
Kumana Wanalaia     

StrangeQ: The most commonly proposed Seasteads would have no welfare, no minimum wage, loose building codes, and minimal weapon restrictions and will terrify anyone who's ever played BioShock.

I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.


Maybe they could hook up with $cientology and use their slaves.

The South will Rise Again!

23 Feb 2013 04:35 PM
FlameDuck     

StrangeQ: The most commonly proposed Seasteads would have no welfare, no minimum wage, loose building codes, and minimal weapon restrictions and will terrify anyone who's ever played BioShock.

I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.


They could opt for North Korea style government, 99% of population in abject poverty serving drinks to the top 1%.

23 Feb 2013 04:35 PM
gaslight    [TotalFark]  
These projects sound like make-work goldmines for lawyers.

23 Feb 2013 04:38 PM
UsikFark     

Kumana Wanalaia: StrangeQ: The most commonly proposed Seasteads would have no welfare, no minimum wage, loose building codes, and minimal weapon restrictions and will terrify anyone who's ever played BioShock.

I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.

Maybe they could hook up with $cientology and use their slaves.


That could work.

23 Feb 2013 04:38 PM
RandomRandom     

StrangeQ: I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.


Never been on a cruise ship?  Third world nationals will take the jobs.

If they ever get one of these libertarian cruise ships floating, the imagery will be priceless.  A bunch of white folks ordering around brown people to serve their every whim, no minimum wage, probably paying them in company script.

Yeah, that will help the libertarian movement.

23 Feb 2013 04:39 PM
Begoggle     
img.photobucket.comView Full Size

23 Feb 2013 04:44 PM
Real Women Drink Akvavit    [TotalFark]  

randomjsa: Gotta love the response to the Citadel... its the "wild west in the streets!" argument.

'They're letting people carry guns... it will be the wild west! Shoot outs in the streets!'

It doesn't happen and then the next time somebody proposes letting people carry guns

'They're letting people carry guns... it will be the wild west! Shoot outs in the streets!'

It doesn't happen and then the next time...

Repeat this about a 1000x

Then roll your eyes when you see 1001 on Cracked.


You've never been to Los Angeles? Wow. You're missing out. Great taco trucks lurking in dark alleys and rats the size of Cocker Spaniels trying to steal your garbage before you even get it into the dumpster. The rats are what we're shooting at.

/the gangbanger dude was collateral damage
//"friendly fire" is when you yell "Ooops! Sorry, dude!" afterward

23 Feb 2013 04:50 PM
SlothB77    [TotalFark]  
I hope the seasteaders saw what happened to the carnival triumph before they commit.

23 Feb 2013 04:50 PM
FloydA     

A Terrible Human: taoistlumberjak: I think the most tragic part of the citadel is that these people are so paranoid about outside life that they have to live in a walled compound. That speaks of mental illness.

Yeah. Walling yourself up away from the world isn't healthy at all.



Matter of perspective.  The rest of us would be substantially safer, so the average health would increase.

23 Feb 2013 04:53 PM
sloshed_again     

RandomRandom: StrangeQ: I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.

Never been on a cruise ship?  Third world nationals will take the jobs.

If they ever get one of these libertarian cruise ships floating, the imagery will be priceless.  A bunch of white folks ordering around brown people to serve their every whim, no minimum wage, probably paying them in company script.

Yeah, that will help the libertarian movement.


That's what I thought. Carnival has this all sewn up.
With mobile goodness.

23 Feb 2013 04:56 PM
Snarfangel     
Bah, if you want to see a real crazy person make their own theme park, check out Murder Castle:
static.environmentalgraffiti.comView Full Size

23 Feb 2013 04:57 PM
thatboyoverthere    [TotalFark]  

Snarfangel: Bah, if you want to see a real crazy person make their own theme park, check out Murder Castle:
[static.environmentalgraffiti.com image 600x511]


I watched the documentary on that on Netflix. The man was a textbook Psychopath.

23 Feb 2013 05:20 PM
bob_ross     
So.. No roller coasters?

23 Feb 2013 05:26 PM
Xcott     

StrangeQ: I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.


If I were George Soros, I would pay a bunch of people 100K a year to volunteer for $2/hr grunt work on the libertarian island platform.  Then, once I stack the platform with enough citizens, I'd have them form a political party, vote in a minimum wage law and form a union affiliated with UFCW.  Then they could vote to be the first nation in world history to recognize the entire UN charter of human rights.

That might actually be profitable, if you compare the cost of building one of those things with the cost of acquiring it through a democratic takeover.   Our principal export would be electricity powered by exploding heads.

23 Feb 2013 05:51 PM
Cerebral Knievel    [TotalFark]  

bob_ross: So.. No roller coasters?


yeah.. fark that noise!

23 Feb 2013 06:45 PM
Ghastly    [TotalFark]  
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

23 Feb 2013 06:47 PM
Ghastly    [TotalFark]  
The best thing about The Citadel is the way each individual neighbourhood is walled off. That'll come in so handy when the people in Suburb A attack those bastards who open their eggs on the wrong end in Suburb B.

23 Feb 2013 06:49 PM
semiotix     
The Seasteaders are my all-time favorite whackadoodle libertarian fringers, and that's a very long list of contenders.

Nowhere on the surface of the earth are more invasive, iron-clad restrictions on personal liberties necessary than on a ship (or floating island). The laws of biology and buoyancy will trump your ideology before you lose sight of land. You can run a medium-security prison with more permissiveness than a boat on the open ocean.

I'd chip in some money just for the pleasure of watching them turn into history's greatest fascists.

23 Feb 2013 06:52 PM
Real Women Drink Akvavit    [TotalFark]  

Xcott: If I were George Soros, I would pay a bunch of people 100K a year to volunteer for $2/hr grunt work on the libertarian island platform.


Give me a wearable hidden camera and I'll do it for half that amount. Would be fun! Would also be profitable when we use the footage to make a documentary about 'em. "Predictable but engrossing" - Mr. Moviephone "Runaway Independent (of the year)" - NY Times movie section

You can go to the Academy Awards to accept our award for both of us. I'm camera shy.

/as long as I'm not caught and thrown overboard/kicked off the island, of course

23 Feb 2013 07:45 PM
mr intrepid     
Lax building codes, huh? First big storm, and no more galt gulchers.

23 Feb 2013 07:48 PM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  
Buying your ammo in boxes of a thousand is just good fiscal sense.

Having more than two thousand of any caliber is a bit excessive.

Unless you have an electric Gatling gun.

23 Feb 2013 08:17 PM
Xcott     

Ghastly: The best thing about The Citadel is the way each individual neighbourhood is walled off. That'll come in so handy when the people in Suburb A attack those bastards who open their eggs on the wrong end in Suburb B.


No, the best thing is the single entry gate for both the outer and inner wall.  This will be hilarious when the local kids block it with a giant snowball every winter.

23 Feb 2013 08:31 PM
poorjon     
I've been thinking about this way more than I should. I'm assuming that the guns, and tactical go-bags, and panic rooms are all because they're expecting to be invaded by Obamunist troops who've followed the reflective stripes on stop signs to their front doors. So even if they have a year's worth of food and water in their panic room, do they have a year's worth of space for a year's worth of urine and feces? Because a few well placed rags in the sewer hookups of these brave patriots will pretty quickly spoil their freedom air. Unless in this Libertarian paradise they're not bound by regulatory shackles which tell them they can't have septic in the middle of a mid-sized city. In which case, build on, brothers. They should put the sinking of shiat Swamp Castle on Pay-Per-View.

23 Feb 2013 11:36 PM
poorjon     
And furthermore, if the population is required to have a year's worth of food and water, a go-bag (which I think my granddad had installed after the stroke, but I'm not great with medical terms), and 1000 rounds of ammunition; who's confirming this? Will there be municipal jackbooted-thugs to audit my food and ammunition stores, or is my neighbor expected to spy upon and oppress me directly? If they authorities claim I don't have enough ammunition and I shoot one of them and bellow "THERE'S 999 MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM, JOHNNY LAW!" is that considered admissible testimony or do I need to submit paperwork?

I really need some questions answered before I seriously consider leaving civilization to live behind a "fortification" constructed without building permits in order to get 40% of my calories from squirrel.

23 Feb 2013 11:48 PM
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