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   Our long national nightmare is over. Ron Jeremy has been cleared to have sex again

23 Feb 2013 04:07 PM   |   5904 clicks   |   Huffington Post
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FlashHarry    [TotalFark]  
nevar forget

23 Feb 2013 10:54 AM
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Cewley    [TotalFark]  
Hedgehog and R Bolla = old school actors who could deliver their lines and the goods.

23 Feb 2013 11:02 AM
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Kyosuke     
Barely any recovery time, just right back to work.

23 Feb 2013 12:46 PM
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Dumski    [TotalFark]  
FTFA.
I'd like to see Richard Burton or Sir John Gielgud or Sir Laurence Olivier do "Macbeth", memorizing all that dialogue, and have a boner.

Sorry Ron, but your skills are fairly limited and you never had to memorize anything, except how to choke your cauck to make it look bigger.

23 Feb 2013 03:17 PM
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Kurmudgeon     

Dumski: Sorry Ron, but your skills are fairly limited


Bigger than yours.

23 Feb 2013 04:12 PM
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titwrench     
Ron Jeremy is a cool mother farker.

23 Feb 2013 04:23 PM
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GreatGlavinsGhost     
Heh, heh Subby said "long".

/Heh, heh.

23 Feb 2013 04:24 PM
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FatherDale     

Kyosuke: Barely any recovery time, just right back to work.


"Work, work, work. Hi, boys"

home.comcast.net

23 Feb 2013 04:26 PM
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willfullyobscure     
fat and old plus his ween is grody.

2/10 would not bang. way below my standards

23 Feb 2013 04:26 PM
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DeltaPunch     
Thank god. The wait was so long and hard for all of us.

23 Feb 2013 04:26 PM
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Texas Gabe     
When he finally dies they should erect a statue.

23 Feb 2013 04:31 PM
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frozenhotchocolate     
Not that I'm gay or anything but I can't watch him in a porn banging some chick because he is so nasty to look at that it is a complete turn off.

23 Feb 2013 04:35 PM
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JohnCarter    [TotalFark]  
Not sure I get it

www3.pictures.zimbio.com

23 Feb 2013 04:36 PM
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maxx2112     

Texas Gabe: When he finally dies they should erect a statue.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

23 Feb 2013 04:37 PM
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Gergesa     

frozenhotchocolate: Not that I'm gay or anything but I can't watch him in a porn banging some chick because he is so nasty to look at that it is a complete turn off.


I think the issue for this is living vicariously through another. It is a lot easier when the subject looks halfway decent and doesn't make you want to recoil.

23 Feb 2013 04:41 PM
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goodole312     
good i was needing something to puke about

23 Feb 2013 04:44 PM
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Molavian    [TotalFark]  

Texas Gabe: When he finally dies they should erect a statue.


Are they going to need a hand encircling the base to keep it upright?

23 Feb 2013 04:48 PM
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Bronzemom     
So what is Ron's fark handle ?

23 Feb 2013 04:52 PM
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powhound     
TFA spent the whole nine yards milking pun after pun out of Hedge's tired, flaccid penis

23 Feb 2013 04:53 PM
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Nem Wan     

Dumski: FTFA.
I'd like to see Richard Burton or Sir John Gielgud or Sir Laurence Olivier do "Macbeth", memorizing all that dialogue, and have a boner.

Sorry Ron, but your skills are fairly limited and you never had to memorize anything, except how to choke your cauck to make it look bigger.


Ron Jeremy and Tony Curtis were friends for 20 years, so if Jeremy needed advice about acting, he could get it.

23 Feb 2013 05:00 PM
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Canton     

JohnCarter: Not sure I get it

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 360x240]


I know I don't. But on general principles, I am glad he is out of the woods.

23 Feb 2013 05:03 PM
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Dumski    [TotalFark]  

Kurmudgeon: Dumski: Sorry Ron, but your skills are fairly limited

Bigger than yours.


His skills are bigger than mine?

23 Feb 2013 05:09 PM
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Dumski    [TotalFark]  

Nem Wan: Dumski: FTFA.
I'd like to see Richard Burton or Sir John Gielgud or Sir Laurence Olivier do "Macbeth", memorizing all that dialogue, and have a boner.

Sorry Ron, but your skills are fairly limited and you never had to memorize anything, except how to choke your cauck to make it look bigger.

Ron Jeremy and Tony Curtis were friends for 20 years, so if Jeremy needed advice about acting, he could get it.


I'm sure that they talked about acting all the time... maybe he showed Tony how to strangle his cauck too!

23 Feb 2013 05:11 PM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  

Gergesa: frozenhotchocolate: Not that I'm gay or anything but I can't watch him in a porn banging some chick because he is so nasty to look at that it is a complete turn off.

I think the issue for this is living vicariously through another. It is a lot easier when the subject looks halfway decent and doesn't make you want to recoil.


I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

/ask your doctor if you're healthy enough for sexual activity

23 Feb 2013 05:43 PM
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MatrixOutsider    [TotalFark]  
They should have used a piece of the vein in his dong to patch up his arteries.

23 Feb 2013 06:08 PM
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theewhiterhino     
I hung out with the Hedgehog for a few minutes at Bonnaroo one night. We were both waiting for the golf cart taxi back to the campground at like 4AM. Talked HST, Mitchell Brothers and burned one down. That's about it.


/csb

23 Feb 2013 06:10 PM
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SpdrJay     
Sex with Ron Jeremy IS a long national nightmare.

23 Feb 2013 06:18 PM
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Jon iz teh kewl     

fusillade762: Gergesa: frozenhotchocolate: Not that I'm gay or anything but I can't watch him in a porn banging some chick because he is so nasty to look at that it is a complete turn off.

I think the issue for this is living vicariously through another. It is a lot easier when the subject looks halfway decent and doesn't make you want to recoil.

I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

/ask your doctor if you're healthy enough for sexual activity


i kinda find it hard to masturbate to porn cause i'm always thinking about this girl i want to marry

23 Feb 2013 06:21 PM
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whatisaidwas     
Jon iz teh kewl:

i kinda find it hard to masturbate to porn cause i'm always thinking about this girl i want to marry

[youredoingitwrong.jpg]

23 Feb 2013 06:24 PM
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Gergesa     

fusillade762: I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.


I had always thought of myself as average looking but if Ron is considered average then the bar is set exceedingly low.

23 Feb 2013 06:38 PM
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snocone    [TotalFark]  

Gergesa: fusillade762: I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

I had always thought of myself as average looking but if Ron is considered average then the bar is set exceedingly low.


We have a different bar for douches.
Wanna see?

23 Feb 2013 06:44 PM
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StrikitRich    [TotalFark]  

JohnCarter: Not sure I get it

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 360x240]


frozenhotchocolate: Not that I'm gay or anything but I can't watch him in a porn banging some chick because he is so nasty to look at that it is a complete turn off.


Is it so hard to wrap around your little mind that someone who you find so repugnant has gotten 1000 times the a** that you could even imagine to receive in 3 lifetimes?

23 Feb 2013 06:48 PM
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Gergesa     

snocone: Gergesa: fusillade762: I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

I had always thought of myself as average looking but if Ron is considered average then the bar is set exceedingly low.

We have a different bar for douches.
Wanna see?


That would be amusing.

23 Feb 2013 07:00 PM
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frozenhotchocolate     

StrikitRich: JohnCarter: Not sure I get it

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 360x240]

frozenhotchocolate: Not that I'm gay or anything but I can't watch him in a porn banging some chick because he is so nasty to look at that it is a complete turn off.

Is it so hard to wrap around your little mind that someone who you find so repugnant has gotten 1000 times the a** that you could even imagine to receive in 3 lifetimes?


Yes it hard to imagine that such a disgusting man would have sex with that many women who only would touch him because they were getting paid. I'm sure his parents are proud of him.

23 Feb 2013 07:18 PM
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Jon iz teh kewl     
our whole universe was in a HOT DEnSE STATE

23 Feb 2013 07:33 PM
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gibbon1     

frozenhotchocolate: Yes it hard to imagine that such a disgusting man would have sex with that many women who only would touch him because they were getting paid. I'm sure his parents are proud of him.


I remember an offhand comment by a retired porn star. Said Ron was 'nice'

23 Feb 2013 08:12 PM
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Gawdzila     

StrikitRich: Is it so hard to wrap around your little mind that someone who you find so repugnant has gotten 1000 times the a** that you could even imagine to receive in 3 lifetimes?


I fail to see why that's relevant at all to the point you were addressing.  It doesn't make him any less boner-killingly revolting to look at.

23 Feb 2013 09:04 PM
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Jon iz teh kewl     
yes but is he SCIENTOLOGY CLEARED???

23 Feb 2013 09:15 PM
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ladyfortuna     

whatisaidwas: Jon iz teh kewl:

i kinda find it hard to masturbate to porn cause i'm always thinking about this girl i want to marry

[youredoingitwrong.jpg]


How are you supposed to do it, and is it different for the opposite sex? Just curious what your answer is, I already have my preconceived notions.

23 Feb 2013 09:31 PM
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sjcpjh1     
Ron's a really interesting guy. I met him on the set of Frezno Smooth in the mid 90's. super nice and really cordial dude. He's a big influence on why I went into teaching Special Ed. He mentioned it was really satisfying work, and so far he's right!

23 Feb 2013 09:40 PM
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whatisaidwas     

ladyfortuna: whatisaidwas: Jon iz teh kewl:

i kinda find it hard to masturbate to porn cause i'm always thinking about this girl i want to marry

[youredoingitwrong.jpg]

How are you supposed to do it, and is it different for the opposite sex? Just curious what your answer is, I already have my preconceived notions.


Well, I generally have someone hold the giraffe while I fill the bathtub with brightly painted machine tools.

23 Feb 2013 10:14 PM
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loanguy     
Ok, I met Ron one time. I have to say... I found him to be one of the NICEST and most genuine "celebrity" that i've met. Many "famous" people.. famous for whatever... find themsleves to be so "above" everyone else. Ron was kind, generous with his time, funny, interesting... I don't know how else to say it. Just a really nice guy. I'm glad he's recovering well and hope he's back doing whatever he wants in life very soon.

24 Feb 2013 12:19 AM
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ladyfortuna     

whatisaidwas: ladyfortuna: whatisaidwas: Jon iz teh kewl:

i kinda find it hard to masturbate to porn cause i'm always thinking about this girl i want to marry

[youredoingitwrong.jpg]

How are you supposed to do it, and is it different for the opposite sex? Just curious what your answer is, I already have my preconceived notions.

Well, I generally have someone hold the giraffe while I fill the bathtub with brightly painted machine tools.


You definitely need a Youtube channel in that case.

24 Feb 2013 04:15 AM
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Debby7813    [TotalFark]  
My son-in-law directed a low-budget horror/comedy film a couple years ago in which Ron Jeremy had a cameo. He supposedly is a cool guy, but very thrifty. Check it out!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1884318/ ?ref_=sr_1

//css

24 Feb 2013 10:14 AM
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Harmania     

Gergesa: fusillade762: I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

I had always thought of myself as average looking but if Ron is considered average then the bar is set exceedingly low.


You're taking the mean of different sets.
You consider yourself average looking for the population at large. Fair enough.
If you limit yourself to the set of men for whom cheeto-enhanced masturbation to VHS porn is the most fulfilling sexual experience likely to ever occur, then Ron Jeremy is indeed average looking.

24 Feb 2013 11:50 AM
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snocone    [TotalFark]  

Harmania: Gergesa: fusillade762: I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

I had always thought of myself as average looking but if Ron is considered average then the bar is set exceedingly low.

You're taking the mean of different sets.
You consider yourself average looking for the population at large. Fair enough.
If you limit yourself to the set of men for whom cheeto-enhanced masturbation to VHS porn is the most fulfilling sexual experience likely to ever occur, then Ron Jeremy is indeed average looking.


Young?
Ron is famous because he can(could) suck his own dick.

24 Feb 2013 12:19 PM
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Harmania     

snocone: Harmania: Gergesa: fusillade762: I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

I had always thought of myself as average looking but if Ron is considered average then the bar is set exceedingly low.

You're taking the mean of different sets.
You consider yourself average looking for the population at large. Fair enough.
If you limit yourself to the set of men for whom cheeto-enhanced masturbation to VHS porn is the most fulfilling sexual experience likely to ever occur, then Ron Jeremy is indeed average looking.

Young?
Ron is famous because he can(could) suck his own dick.


Not young. John Holmes was famous for the same thing, as are most woodsmen who rise to any kind of prominence (pun intended). RJ is uniquely famous for looking like the sad bastards that frequented porn theatres in the 70s and 80s while packing the required enormous hogleg.

24 Feb 2013 03:38 PM
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DaAlien     

whatisaidwas: ladyfortuna: whatisaidwas: Jon iz teh kewl:

i kinda find it hard to masturbate to porn cause i'm always thinking about this girl i want to marry

[youredoingitwrong.jpg]

How are you supposed to do it, and is it different for the opposite sex? Just curious what your answer is, I already have my preconceived notions.

Well, I generally have someone hold the giraffe while I fill the bathtub with brightly painted machine tools.


So, sex is like changing a light bulb?

24 Feb 2013 09:58 PM
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