(full site)
Fark.com

Back To Main
   Woman: Is this heaven? Courts: No, it's Iowa. Woman: You bastards

24 Feb 2013 02:58 PM   |   11258 clicks   |   Quad City Times
Add Comment
Showing 1-50 of 69 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
thamike     
People with specific burial demands might as well be dead already.

24 Feb 2013 11:03 AM
Reply
notmtwain     
Rock Island/ Iowa Stubborn  (original movie cast)

Oh, there's nothing halfway
About the Iowa way to treat you,
When we treat you
Which we may not do at all.
There's an Iowa kind of special Chip-on-the-shoulder attitude.
We've never been without.
That we recall.We can be cold
As our falling thermometers in December
If you ask about our weather in July.
And we're so by God stubborn
We could stand touchin' noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye.
But what the heck, you're welcome,
Join us at the picnic.
You can eat your fill
Of all the food you bring yourself.
You really ought to give Iowa a try.
Provided you are contrary,
We can be cold
As our falling thermometer in December
If you ask about our weather in July.
And we're so by God stubborn
We can stand touchin' noses
For a week at a timeAnd never see eye-to-eye.
But we'll give you our shirt
And a back to go with it
If your crops should happen to die.
Farmer:So, what the heck,
you're welcome,
Glad to have you with us.
Farmer and Wife:Even though we may not ever mention it again.
Townspeople:You really ought to give Hawkeye Dubuque, DesMoines, Davenport, Marshalltown,Mason City, Keokuk, Ames,Clear Lake  Ought to give Iowa a try!

24 Feb 2013 12:31 PM
Reply
show me    [TotalFark]  
Who cares where the lump of organic material that looks sort of like what used to be a person rots? I've never understood this.

24 Feb 2013 12:45 PM
Reply
FunkOut    [TotalFark]  
One of my favourite children's books is "The Stupids Die". The power went out and then came back on. They thought they had died.

"Is this heaven?" asked the Stupids.

"No, this is Cleveland," said Grandpa Stupid.

24 Feb 2013 03:02 PM
Reply
ciberido    [TotalFark]  

show me: Who cares where the lump of organic material that looks sort of like what used to be a person rots? I've never understood this.


I'm sure that's only one of many things you've never understood, so don't let it bother you.

Clearly in this case, it matters to several people, since they're fighting over it.

24 Feb 2013 03:03 PM
Reply
Maggie_Luna     

show me: Who cares where the lump of organic material that looks sort of like what used to be a person rots? I've never understood this.


Because it's your lump of inorganic material and before you become it you'd like to think it's gathering dust/decomposing somewhere you'd like. Or have a nice place to visit that which use to be your mother.  Dump everybody with those of our food animals it's doesn't really matter but you know, feelings and all our associated cultures that have sprung with those. So in other words: Duh.

24 Feb 2013 03:03 PM
Reply
Smoking GNU     
How about cremated and the ashes being in the next hellfire missile shot from a drone in the middle east? Go out with a bang.

24 Feb 2013 03:04 PM
Reply
cptjeff    [TotalFark]  
They're dead, they have no way of knowing.

Personally, the only thing I care about is not being planted in one of those cookie cutter, sprawling monstrosities of a cemetery with no character, headstones flush to avoid inconveniencing the lawnmowers, just acres of ugly lawn. Either do it right and have a nice vault or memorial, preferably in some fairly old or old style cemetery with a bunch of memorials jammed in on each other- you know, the type that's cool to wander around in and that the living can actually enjoy, or just dump me naked in a hole somewhere. A wall tomb type thing in a big old stone church could be neat too, except I'm not particularly religious and those probably require a hefty donation.

So yeah- naked in a hole, or cool gothic cemetery with mausoleum and statuary where people actually wander around. Just no suburban mediocrity, please.

24 Feb 2013 03:06 PM
Reply
ciberido    [TotalFark]  

Smoking GNU: How about cremated and the ashes being in the next hellfire missile shot from a drone in the middle east? Go out with a bang.


There's really three things we can do: burn her, bury her, or dump her.

24 Feb 2013 03:09 PM
Reply
BarkingUnicorn    [TotalFark]  
I hope my last sip from the government tit is to be buried at the county's expense.

24 Feb 2013 03:10 PM
Reply
UsikFark    [TotalFark]  

notmtwain: Rock Island/ Iowa Stubborn  (original movie cast)

Oh, there's nothing halfway
About the Iowa way to treat you,
When we treat you
Which we may not do at all.
There's an Iowa kind of special Chip-on-the-shoulder attitude.
We've never been without.
That we recall.We can be cold
As our falling thermometers in December
If you ask about our weather in July.
And we're so by God stubborn
We could stand touchin' noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye.
But what the heck, you're welcome,
Join us at the picnic.
You can eat your fill
Of all the food you bring yourself.
You really ought to give Iowa a try.
Provided you are contrary,
We can be cold
As our falling thermometer in December
If you ask about our weather in July.
And we're so by God stubborn
We can stand touchin' noses
For a week at a timeAnd never see eye-to-eye.
But we'll give you our shirt
And a back to go with it
If your crops should happen to die.
Farmer:So, what the heck,
you're welcome,
Glad to have you with us.
Farmer and Wife:Even though we may not ever mention it again.
Townspeople:You really ought to give Hawkeye Dubuque, DesMoines, Davenport, Marshalltown,Mason City, Keokuk, Ames,Clear Lake  Ought to give Iowa a try!


I was going to type a longer reply, but I guess the song's kinda right.

/from iowa.

24 Feb 2013 03:11 PM
Reply
skinink     
Cremate me and pour my ashes in the gas tank of my closest enemy's car.

24 Feb 2013 03:11 PM
Reply
KatjaMouse     

show me: Who cares where the lump of organic material that looks sort of like what used to be a person rots? I've never understood this.


My fiancee and I have butted heads over this kind of discussion though. My philosophy is that in my lifetime I have consumed the flora and fauna of this planet and have cultivated an ecosystem of little micro organisms thanks to that transfer of energy. Why should I deprive other kinds of flora and fauna from benefiting from me? And to speed along the process I have stated to him and my loved ones that I don't want to be pumped full of chemicals and preservatives and don't require a lead lined, air tight coffin.

Fiancee thinks it's still a waste of real estate (even though most cemeteries that cater to my kinds of wishes tend to be used as park land). So he said if I die before him he's going to cremate me "but it's ok because I'm going to spread your ashes under a sapling somewhere."

Nice to know I need to do an extra legal step for these kinds of wishes.

24 Feb 2013 03:11 PM
Reply
ciberido    [TotalFark]  

cptjeff: They're dead, they have no way of knowing.


Quite apart from the fact that that's a highly debated point, there's also the fact that we here on Earth DO know, and we can thus predict what will happen to our bodies after we die.  If I live in a land where I see everyone around me treating the remains of their deceased as mere garbage, I then know that is how MY remains will be treated after I die.  And however true it may be that I won't care AFTER I'm dead, I care about it NOW, while I'm still alive.

24 Feb 2013 03:15 PM
Reply
BarkingUnicorn    [TotalFark]  

KatjaMouse: show me: Who cares where the lump of organic material that looks sort of like what used to be a person rots? I've never understood this.

My fiancee and I have butted heads over this kind of discussion though. My philosophy is that in my lifetime I have consumed the flora and fauna of this planet and have cultivated an ecosystem of little micro organisms thanks to that transfer of energy. Why should I deprive other kinds of flora and fauna from benefiting from me? And to speed along the process I have stated to him and my loved ones that I don't want to be pumped full of chemicals and preservatives and don't require a lead lined, air tight coffin.

Fiancee thinks it's still a waste of real estate (even though most cemeteries that cater to my kinds of wishes tend to be used as park land). So he said if I die before him he's going to cremate me "but it's ok because I'm going to spread your ashes under a sapling somewhere."

Nice to know I need to do an extra legal step for these kinds of wishes.


You two are arguing over how to feed bacteria?

24 Feb 2013 03:16 PM
Reply
UsikFark    [TotalFark]  

ciberido: cptjeff: They're dead, they have no way of knowing.

Quite apart from the fact that that's a highly debated point[...]



Not by the dead!

24 Feb 2013 03:17 PM
Reply
ten foiled hats     
Peace, love, dope!  Now get the hell out of here!

1) Put dead ten foiled hats in boat on ocean
2) Take boat out until you can't see land
3) Throw dead ten foiled hats' ass overboard
4) Success!

/No doubt the instructions in my fark post conveying my wishes will be followed.

24 Feb 2013 03:17 PM
Reply
jamspoon    [TotalFark]  
1996: Separates
2012: Visits husband. Dies.
"I just want all of you to know that this is very important to me and because you all love and respect me, I know that you will see that my wishes are carried out," the letter said."
2013: Husband wins right to bury her where he pleases

Husband is serving his revenge cold. He is a lawyer after all.

24 Feb 2013 03:19 PM
Reply
Vangor     
But although Whalen had named her sister executor and detailed the burial wishes in her will, she did not designate anyone to handle burial arrangements on her health care power of attorney declaration.

So she did not fill out the appropriate form to convey her wishes in the precise legal language? Seems a drastic violation of the spirit of the law. Where you are buried should not be a concern aside from sanitation and modicum of respect for loved ones, but when people express arrangements explicitly we should follow them.

24 Feb 2013 03:20 PM
Reply
MadAzza     

show me: Who cares where the lump of organic material that looks sort of like what used to be a person rots? I've never understood this.


It doesn't matter whether you understand it. SHE understood it. It's her body; she put in writing to the executor of her will where she wanted to be buried, and she should have been buried there.

But no, there's always some power-hungry, vindictive asshole to fark things up. And that person is usually a family member.

24 Feb 2013 03:24 PM
Reply
MadAzza     

cptjeff: They're dead, they have no way of knowing.

...

So yeah- naked in a hole, or cool gothic cemetery with mausoleum and statuary where people actually wander around. Just no suburban mediocrity, please.


What do you care? You'll have no way of knowing.

24 Feb 2013 03:25 PM
Reply
ciberido    [TotalFark]  

UsikFark: ciberido: cptjeff: They're dead, they have no way of knowing.

Quite apart from the fact that that's a highly debated point[...]


Not by the dead!


You really think the dead don't debate?  I'm sure there are lawyers in hell.

24 Feb 2013 03:28 PM
Reply
gregscott     
I want my body to be buried on whatever planet is closed to the center of our galaxy. Not enough money in my estate? I don't care, just DO it!

24 Feb 2013 03:29 PM
Reply
offmymeds     

show me: Who cares where the lump of organic material that looks sort of like what used to be a person rots? I've never understood this.


cdn.inquisitr.com

24 Feb 2013 03:29 PM
Reply
Darth_Lukecash    [TotalFark]  

KatjaMouse: show me: Who cares where the lump of organic material that looks sort of like what used to be a person rots? I've never understood this.

My fiancee and I have butted heads over this kind of discussion though. My philosophy is that in my lifetime I have consumed the flora and fauna of this planet and have cultivated an ecosystem of little micro organisms thanks to that transfer of energy. Why should I deprive other kinds of flora and fauna from benefiting from me? And to speed along the process I have stated to him and my loved ones that I don't want to be pumped full of chemicals and preservatives and don't require a lead lined, air tight coffin.

Fiancee thinks it's still a waste of real estate (even though most cemeteries that cater to my kinds of wishes tend to be used as park land). So he said if I die before him he's going to cremate me "but it's ok because I'm going to spread your ashes under a sapling somewhere."

Nice to know I need to do an extra legal step for these kinds of wishes.


I don't think health and safety laws will allow your type of burial. Check for details.

24 Feb 2013 03:32 PM
Reply
Harmania     

MadAzza: show me: Who cares where the lump of organic material that looks sort of like what used to be a person rots? I've never understood this.

It doesn't matter whether you understand it. SHE understood it. It's her body; she put in writing to the executor of her will where she wanted to be buried, and she should have been buried there.

But no, there's always some power-hungry, vindictive asshole to fark things up. And that person is usually a family member.


She also no longer exists, making her wishes largely moot. I agree that the husband is probably following the desires he wishes she had in life instead of her actual wishes, but I just can't get too excited about it.

24 Feb 2013 03:32 PM
Reply
namatad    [TotalFark]  

jamspoon: 1996: Separates
2012: Visits husband. Dies.
"I just want all of you to know that this is very important to me and because you all love and respect me, I know that you will see that my wishes are carried out," the letter said."
2013: Husband wins right to bury her where he pleases

Husband is serving his revenge cold. He is a lawyer after all.


It would be awesome justice if when he dies, the children take their revenge on him.
Ignore all his "wishes". paupers grave with no marker. and then exhume and move their mother, lovingly to her final rest place.

/what an ASSHOLE

24 Feb 2013 03:33 PM
Reply
jtown     
That's just farking insane.  She had a named executor and clearly declared her request to be buried in Montana.  It's not as if there was no estate/funeral planning and they're left trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation.  So, because she didn't follow Iowa's law to the letter, she's bound by the rules of a state where she didn't reside and the wishes of a man who's been separated from her for 17 years.  farking brilliant.  Apparently you need to research the laws of every state, county, and city in the nation in order to make sure your body doesn't end up getting dumped in a random hole because you happened to die in Jethro's McBumblefark's jurisdiction.  Disgusting.

And I'm a guy who's got no particular desires when it comes to my corpse.  Whatever's cheapest.  Probably burn it and pick the "dump at sea" option.  I guess my dad might want me to go in the cemetery near him which has a lot of our family members but, to be honest, I expect to outlive anyone who gives a damn about my final resting place.

But if somebody cares and makes arrangements and instructions for their final disposition, honor their farking wishes!

24 Feb 2013 03:34 PM
Reply
UsikFark    [TotalFark]  

Vangor: but when people express arrangements explicitly we should follow them.


You're ignoring the fact that claims, rivalry, and hatred come out of the woodwork and you get differing versions about what "Mom always wanted." Ted Williams getting frozen to a tuna can because of an autographed napkin instead of cremated "like he always wanted" is an example. If you don't spell it out properly and legally someone (or their lawyer) may decide to explore all available options.

24 Feb 2013 03:35 PM
Reply
UsikFark    [TotalFark]  

ciberido: UsikFark: ciberido: cptjeff: They're dead, they have no way of knowing.

Quite apart from the fact that that's a highly debated point[...]


Not by the dead!

You really think the dead don't debate?  I'm sure there are lawyers in hell.


I don't believe in hell.

24 Feb 2013 03:35 PM
Reply
jamspoon    [TotalFark]  

namatad: jamspoon: 1996: Separates
2012: Visits husband. Dies.
"I just want all of you to know that this is very important to me and because you all love and respect me, I know that you will see that my wishes are carried out," the letter said."
2013: Husband wins right to bury her where he pleases

Husband is serving his revenge cold. He is a lawyer after all.

It would be awesome justice if when he dies, the children take their revenge on him.
Ignore all his "wishes". paupers grave with no marker. and then exhume and move their mother, lovingly to her final rest place.

/what an ASSHOLE


Even more awesome if they tell him on his deathbed when it's too late to stop them

24 Feb 2013 03:37 PM
Reply
namatad    [TotalFark]  

Harmania: She also no longer exists, making her wishes largely moot. I agree that the husband is probably following the desires he wishes she had in life instead of her actual wishes, but I just can't get too excited about it.


but ,... the funeral is about the survivors and respecting last wishes.
of course it has nothing to do with the dead person ... they are a dead lump. even if you admit that a ghost/soul/spirit/magic thingy exists, it is long long gone. why the fark would anyone hang around?? LOL
that this asshole got the last word is a greater injustice. that some judge agreed with the asshole is an injustice.

at best, this is a cautionary tale. PLAN NOW. PLAN PROPERLY. or your wishes will be ignored.

24 Feb 2013 03:39 PM
Reply
Vangor     

UsikFark: You're ignoring the fact that claims, rivalry, and hatred come out of the woodwork and you get differing versions about what "Mom always wanted." Ted Williams getting frozen to a tuna can because of an autographed napkin instead of cremated "like he always wanted" is an example. If you don't spell it out properly and legally someone (or their lawyer) may decide to explore all available options.


But I am not ignoring this because the woman made this explicit and simply did not fill out a specific form or whatever. These are not differing accounts; there is a letter to her family expressed what she wanted and what someone else believes she wanted. There will always be arguments over this nonsense because people are morons, but this one is quite clear what she desired, and this is only inhibited because of a terrible law.

24 Feb 2013 03:39 PM
Reply
MadAzza     

UsikFark: ciberido: UsikFark: ciberido: cptjeff: They're dead, they have no way of knowing.

Quite apart from the fact that that's a highly debated point[...]


Not by the dead!

You really think the dead don't debate?  I'm sure there are lawyers in hell.

I don't believe in hell.


Hey, you know what wouldn't be fun? Let's take everything literally!

24 Feb 2013 03:40 PM
Reply
namatad    [TotalFark]  

jamspoon: namatad: jamspoon: 1996: Separates
2012: Visits husband. Dies.
"I just want all of you to know that this is very important to me and because you all love and respect me, I know that you will see that my wishes are carried out," the letter said."
2013: Husband wins right to bury her where he pleases

Husband is serving his revenge cold. He is a lawyer after all.

It would be awesome justice if when he dies, the children take their revenge on him.
Ignore all his "wishes". paupers grave with no marker. and then exhume and move their mother, lovingly to her final rest place.

/what an ASSHOLE

Even more awesome if they tell him on his deathbed when it's too late to stop them


bwhaahaahaahahhahahahahaha
The only reason that I didnt do something like this to my mom, is that my dad is still alive. If he had died first, I would have told her we were burying her FAR away from him as possible so he could FINALLY get some rest!

24 Feb 2013 03:41 PM
Reply
Eps05     

KatjaMouse: show me: Who cares where the lump of organic material that looks sort of like what used to be a person rots? I've never understood this.

My fiancee and I have butted heads over this kind of discussion though. My philosophy is that in my lifetime I have consumed the flora and fauna of this planet and have cultivated an ecosystem of little micro organisms thanks to that transfer of energy. Why should I deprive other kinds of flora and fauna from benefiting from me? And to speed along the process I have stated to him and my loved ones that I don't want to be pumped full of chemicals and preservatives and don't require a lead lined, air tight coffin.

Fiancee thinks it's still a waste of real estate (even though most cemeteries that cater to my kinds of wishes tend to be used as park land). So he said if I die before him he's going to cremate me "but it's ok because I'm going to spread your ashes under a sapling somewhere."

Nice to know I need to do an extra legal step for these kinds of wishes.


Cremation is really bad for the environment. Look up promession.

24 Feb 2013 03:41 PM
Reply
jtown     

UsikFark: Vangor: but when people express arrangements explicitly we should follow them.

You're ignoring the fact that claims, rivalry, and hatred come out of the woodwork and you get differing versions about what "Mom always wanted." Ted Williams getting frozen to a tuna can because of an autographed napkin instead of cremated "like he always wanted" is an example. If you don't spell it out properly and legally someone (or their lawyer) may decide to explore all available options.


You're ignoring the fact that she named an executor and memorialized her wishes in writing.  Not to mention the purchase of a plot and coffin in Billings.  Her wishes appeared to be clear and specific but she failed to take Iowa's law into account.  Hardly surprising considering she didn't live in Iowa and probably hadn't planned on dying there when she went for a visit.

24 Feb 2013 03:44 PM
Reply
cptjeff    [TotalFark]  

MadAzza: cptjeff: They're dead, they have no way of knowing.

...

So yeah- naked in a hole, or cool gothic cemetery with mausoleum and statuary where people actually wander around. Just no suburban mediocrity, please.

What do you care? You'll have no way of knowing.


I either want to be disposed of in a way so that I'll actually rot and do the environment some good rather than having people waste money on a concrete vault and embalming, or I want to help add to a type of environment I've always found to fun to visit.

To put it a little more simply, either dispose of me cleanly and cheaply or do something that's a productive addition to public space. I won't know once I die, of course, but I'd like the people burying me to either create something for the sake of the living, or to just get rid of me in a way that's low impact on the earth and low impact on their wallets. I don't actually give a shiat about anything for my own sake once I'm dead. I don't care if my body is being properly honored or properly preserved for the magic jesus army.

24 Feb 2013 03:44 PM
Reply
Snargi     

namatad: jamspoon: 1996: Separates
2012: Visits husband. Dies.
"I just want all of you to know that this is very important to me and because you all love and respect me, I know that you will see that my wishes are carried out," the letter said."
2013: Husband wins right to bury her where he pleases

Husband is serving his revenge cold. He is a lawyer after all.

It would be awesome justice if when he dies, the children take their revenge on him.
Ignore all his "wishes". paupers grave with no marker. and then exhume and move their mother, lovingly to her final rest place.

/what an ASSHOLE


24 Feb 2013 03:49 PM
Reply
plushpuppy    [TotalFark]  
I personally would like my body donated to science.  The local university will take bodies with some rules, I don't know if my family could handle that idea and there is the chance they don't want your body.

24 Feb 2013 03:50 PM
Reply
99.998er     
NOTICE TO THOSE ALMOST DEAD PEOPLE IN BILLINGS:

Scan Craig's List for cheap burial plot.

24 Feb 2013 03:52 PM
Reply
No Such Agency     
3.bp.blogspot.com

"Don't tell me!  You're from heaven."
"No, I'm from Iowa.  I only work in heaven."

24 Feb 2013 03:53 PM
Reply
Alleyoop     
Could be worse...

24.media.tumblr.com

24 Feb 2013 03:56 PM
Reply
ciberido    [TotalFark]  

UsikFark: ciberido: UsikFark: ciberido: cptjeff: They're dead, they have no way of knowing.

Quite apart from the fact that that's a highly debated point[...]


Not by the dead!

You really think the dead don't debate?  I'm sure there are lawyers in hell.

I don't believe in hell.


You must be LOADs of fun at parties.

24 Feb 2013 03:57 PM
Reply
WillyChase     
Looks like the guy got his revenge, and her family will likely get theirs later.

24 Feb 2013 04:07 PM
Reply
UsikFark    [TotalFark]  

jtown: You're ignoring the fact that


Vangor: But I am not ignoring this


Me: If you don't spell it out properly and legally someone (or their lawyer) may decide to explore all available options.

"All available options" includes the laws in the place you died. The Supreme Court of Iowa agrees.

24 Feb 2013 04:16 PM
Reply
Real Women Drink Akvavit    [TotalFark]  
I'm doing full body donation. No expense for my family and I'll probably do more good in the long run after I die than I could ever do while alive, even if I tried a lot harder. I should probably get some legal language to that effect included with my advance directive/living will paperwork thingies. My family seems to go out of their way to go against the wishes of their dearly departed (or ill). Screw that crap. They can hire a lawyer and fight it if matters so much to them to have a crappy urn to pack around with them whenever they move or a grave they'll visit once a year, tops.

24 Feb 2013 04:16 PM
Reply
UsikFark    [TotalFark]  

ciberido: UsikFark: ciberido: UsikFark: ciberido: cptjeff: They're dead, they have no way of knowing.

Quite apart from the fact that that's a highly debated point[...]


Not by the dead!

You really think the dead don't debate?  I'm sure there are lawyers in hell.

I don't believe in hell.

You must be LOADs of fun at parties.


I know, I'm often dragged out foaming at the mouth telling the drinkers and fornicators they ain't going to hell.

24 Feb 2013 04:18 PM
Reply
UsikFark    [TotalFark]  

plushpuppy: I personally would like my body donated to science.  The local university will take bodies with some rules, I don't know if my family could handle that idea and there is the chance they don't want your body.

i1.ytimg.com

Good call!

24 Feb 2013 04:21 PM
Reply
jtown     

UsikFark: jtown: You're ignoring the fact that

Vangor: But I am not ignoring this

Me: If you don't spell it out properly and legally someone (or their lawyer) may decide to explore all available options.

"All available options" includes the laws in the place you died. The Supreme Court of Iowa agrees.


That doesn't mean they're right.  By their logic, anyone who gives a shiat about where their body is laid to rest needs to research the laws of every state, county, and city in America and make sure that they cover every base just in case they happen to die in a place like Iowa.  If something like that happened to me, I'd haunt the fark out of those people.

24 Feb 2013 04:25 PM
Reply
Showing 1-50 of 69 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
This thread is closed to new comments.


Back To Main

More Headlines:
Main | Sports | Business | Geek | Entertainment | Politics | Video | FarkUs | Contests | Fark Party | Combined