Drew Curtis' FARK.com (Mobile)

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Real News. Real Funny.

Thu September 21, 2017
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After 40 years of planning and construction, your new canal project is finally at the eve of opening. What could possibly go wrong?

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"What? No GRAVY?"

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Activists want a large ocean garbage patch to be named as a new country. Others say it's unnecessary to make a statement about trashy land masses because we already have New Jersey

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"Defendant did steal a thing of value to-wit: Hamburger," an officer wrote in the complaint

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Controversial and generally unhinged former sheriff David Clarke threatens to rape reporter and his horse

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You've just boldly stolen some vodka. Do you drink some then cause a disturbance at the correctional centre?

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Iceland customs officials seize nearly 200 shipments of Melatonin, classified as an illegal drug there. Because no one needs naturally-occurring sleep inducing supplements in a country where it's 24/7 daylight for almost 6 months in a row

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Having beige fat can help you lose weight. Wearing beige can help you remain home alone on weekends

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Prosecutors say Anthony Weiner deserves over two years in prison for having a minor strip naked and touch herself in video chats, but when pressed concede he does do a great Grumpy Cat impression

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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 646: "Eclipses". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme

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Wed September 20, 2017
Good: Powerball winner says money won't change his heart. Bad: Pedophile

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Psychiatric exam ordered for Pharma Bro. Mental illness? Clever ploy to get him out of jail? Or is he just an a-hole?

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With typical British understatement, UK police say the mysterious object that forced the closure of a major highway today was a trash bag full of "possibly hydrochloric acid" and they are "keeping an open mind as to how the object was left there"

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Meanwhile, in Australia the mosquitoes might be transmitting flesh-eating bacteria

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American Academy of Pediatrics' first guidance document on tattoo and piercing safety to the left. Pictures of your saggy and wrinkled teenage regerts to the right

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This Stanford professor's puckered starfish theory that "we are living in Peak A$hole" just might be on to something

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Ontario suggests $10/gram as a baseline for legal pot sales next summer. Pearl-clutching will still be free, however

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French acting legend Gérard Depardieu is pretty sure the Pentagon may have created AIDS. That, and he's still in love with his BFF Vladimir Putin

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Activists demand that racist Native American tapestry be taken down. Pawnee city officials say that it's part of their history and it should remain up

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Facebook is very, very sorry they were caught selling ads to Nazis, racists, Russians, Slaanesh, the Thule Society, the World Crime League, the Dark Overlords of the Universe, Hydra, Thulsa Doom, and Lincoln F. Sternn, and promise not to do it again

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