Wed September 30, 2020

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  Smile for the camera

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  Whale shark swallows an entire shoal of fish in award-winning photo

  This is the astonishing snap that won an world competition as photographer Evans Baudin caught the moment a huge Whale shark had a shoal of remora fish inside its mouth.

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  Kentucky AG who was going to release the Breonna Taylor grand jury recordings suddenly needs a week for redactions. Probably just 18 minutes of redactions

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  Kentucky attorney general seeks delay in release of grand jury recordings in Breonna Taylor case

  Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron has asked for a one-week delay in the release of the grand jury recordings in the Breonna Taylor case.

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  Kill it with fire, amen

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  Subby: "Ooh, Girls Gone Wild" Also Subby: "No. Not like that. Do Not Want" (possible nsfw content on page)

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  Teens who spat at police in rampage told 'to be part of the human race again'

  A judge told the two teenage girls who swore at police officers, threatened to head-butt them and even attempted to bite them during a vodka-fuelled rampage that they should get out of their "knuckle-dragging subculture"

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  Teens arrested for breaking into a petting zoo and putting lipstick on a pony. No word on if they can see the juvenile correction center from their homes

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  7 Teens Charged In Connection To Abma's Farm Break-In

  The teens are accused of breaking into Abma's Farm in Wyckoff on Aug. 22 and abusing its animals.

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• Discussion
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  All 16 playoff teams are playing today for the MLB Wild Card Round. The American League is on their second games while the National League is starting up. Who will be the heroes? The fun begins at 12:00 PM ET on ESPN with Reds and Braves

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  MLB Baseball Scores - MLB Scoreboard - ESPN

  Real-time MLB Baseball scores on ESPN

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  Remember when calling the cops on someone stealing your marijuana got you in trouble and made you tagged as 'Dumbass' in a Fark headline? Times have changed (second story)

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  SHERIFF'S BEAT 9-30-20: Man arrested after couple fights in vehicle

  A man was booked on several charges after he allegedly punched a woman.

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  Let's do a funny Youtube video thread, shall we?

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  I was browsing Toby Huss' IMDb page when I noticed that his first movie was "Zadar, Cow From Hell", the premier of which I attended in Iowa City, 1989. It apparently never made it to video. It was hilarious and I haven't seen it since. Any Leads?

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  "I always viewed myself as a prison abolitionist, but then a man tried to sexually assault me. Should I help ensure he's sent to prison for his crime?"

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  Should I Help Incarcerate the Man Who Tried to Sexually Assault Me?

  I thought I was a prison abolitionist. But then a stranger broke into my bedroom.

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• Sports
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  Covid punts Steelers-Titans game

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  Steelers-Titans postponed over positive tests

  Sunday's game between Pittsburgh and Tennessee has been postponed to either Monday or Tuesday to allow for further COVID-19 testing after positive tests this week from four Titans players and five team personnel members.

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  All 16 playoff teams are playing today for the MLB Wild Card Round. The American League is on their second games while the National League is starting up. Who will be the heroes? The fun begins at 12:00 PM ET on ESPN with Reds and Braves

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  MLB Baseball Scores - MLB Scoreboard - ESPN

  Real-time MLB Baseball scores on ESPN

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  Roger Goodell wasn't surprised by NFL's first COVID-19 outbreak. He just looks like that from all the face lifts

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  Roger Goodell wasn't surprised by Titans' coronavirus outbreak

  The NFL has been hit with its first COVID-19 outbreak. The Tennessee Titans closed their facility after eight team members (three players, five personnel) tested positive for the coronavirus, the l...

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  Raiders gonna Raider

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  Raiders investigating after players attend gala without wearing masks

  A handful of Raiders players, including Derek Carr, can be seen mingling with attendees of a gala event without wearing masks.

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  Aaron Rodgers likes to pretend his mic in his helmet is broken just so he can run his own plays

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  Aaron Rodgers Pretends His Helmet Is Broken To Run His Own Plays

  Aaron Rodgers hopped on The Pat McAfee Show and spilled the beans that he sometimes pretends his helmet mic isn't working to call his own plays. Absolutely brilliant and refreshing that Rodgers is getting this transparent about his ways. Part of what makes him such a great player is that he knows when to tell

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• Business
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  So you can follow the money: Facebook is backing two tech direct listings - Palantir and Asana. They'll be following you

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  Facebook's billions are backing two tech direct listings on Wednesday: Palantir and Asana

  Palantir and Asana were co-founded and financed by billionaires who made fortunes from their early involvement in Facebook.

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  Walmart unveils its digital-focused store redesign, leaves out the people in their dirty pajamas, chainsmokers, overloaded scooters

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  Walmart is redesigning its stores. This is what they'll look like

  Walmart is giving its massive stores a makeover, with a redesign that mimics its app so shoppers can more easily find what they're looking for.

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  I say old chap, your dog again wants British steak, perhaps within the fortnight?

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  UK beef served up in the US after a 20-year ban

  The US banned British beef exports in the wake of the Mad Cow Disease scandal in the 1990s.

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  ♪♫♪ Cheeseburger in Paradise ♪♫♪ permanently closes its last restaurant and leaves you with one final ear-worm

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  Cheeseburger in Paradise permanently closes its last-standing restaurant, located in N.J.

  At one point, there were 18 locations throughout the U.S.

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  Shellshocked Shell to shell out pink slips to 9,000 employees by 2022

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  Shell plans up to 9,000 job cuts by 2022

  The oil giant, like the rest of the industry, has been battered by the coronavirus pandemic.

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• Geek
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  Study finds Hong Kong children's well-being ranks lowest. So suck it, Bangladesh, and so many other struggling places, and Appalachia

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  Study finds Hong Kong children's well-being ranks lowest

  In a recent international survey conducted by Lingnan University (LU) in Hong Kong on children's well-being, the overall well-being of Hong Kong children aged 12 and 10 ranked the lowest and second lowest respectively when compared with the 35 participating countries or regions. In the 15 aspects of lives, Hong Kong children's scores on "leisure time use" and "being listened to by adults" are the lowest among neighboring Asian regions.

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  Kill it with fire, amen

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  If you've got COPD, like, stick to the edibles, man

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  Cannabinoids associated with negative respiratory health effects in older adults with COPD

  Cannabinoids, a class of prescription pills that contain synthetically-made chemicals found in marijuana, are associated with a 64 per cent increase in death among older adults with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), according to the first published data on the impact of cannabinoids on the respiratory health of individuals with the lung disease.

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  Scientists precisely measure the universe's total amount of matter. This means something

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  Scientists precisely measure total amount of matter in the universe

  A top goal in cosmology is to precisely measure the total amount of matter in the universe, a daunting exercise for even the most mathematically proficient. A team led by scientists at the University of California, Riverside, has now done just that.

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  Venvs might be habitable today if not for Jvpiter. Man, those Roman gods covld be real dicks sometimes

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  Venus might be habitable today, if not for Jupiter

  Venus might not be a sweltering, waterless hellscape today, if Jupiter hadn't altered its orbit around the sun, according to new UC Riverside research.

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• Entertainment
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  Zendaya in negotiations to portray Ronnie Spector in upcoming biopic. No word if Tom Holland will portray a young Phil Spector

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  Zendaya In Talks To Play Ronnie Spector In A24 Film About Iconic Singer; Label Acquires Life Rights & 'Be My Baby' Autobiography

  UPDATED: I've learned that A24 will team on the Ronnie Spector film with New Regency. The two partnered previously on the Robert Eggers-directed The Lighthouse, and they are part of the Malco...

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  On this day in history, in 1955, James Dean died in a car accident, cementing his legacy as a rebel without seatbelt laws

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  Bonnaroo Festival postponed yet again

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  Bonnaroo Festival has been postponed for a third time | NME

  Organisers of Bonnaroo Festival have announced today its next live instalment has been rescheduled again in 2021.

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  Happy 38th to the show where everybody knows NORM's name

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  What's the greatest blockbuster of the 21st century, and why wouldn't it be Black Panther?

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  Vote for the greatest blockbuster movie of the 21st century so far

  You tell us.

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• Podcast
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  6pm Eastern - it's the Fark News Livestream, pre-debate edition. Note: this livestream will not contain much in the way of actual politics - it will however have eels and poor decision-making

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  Twitch

  Twitch is the world's leading video platform and community for gamers.

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  3pm Eastern - it's the Fark News Livestream, Monday Edition

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  Twitch

  Twitch is the world's leading video platform and community for gamers.

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  10:30pm - Suddenly, it's Fark Friday Movie Night

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  Twitch

  Twitch is the world's leading video platform and community for gamers.

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  Suddenly, it's the Fark News Livestream

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  Twitch

  Twitch is the world's leading video platform and community for gamers.

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  9am Eastern - it's the first ever Morning Fark News Livestream

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  Twitch

  Twitch is the world's leading video platform and community for gamers.

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• D'awww
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  ♪♪ Yulan magnolias, blossoms blooming / Look like birds in the spring air ♪♪

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  Yulan Magnolias Look So Much Like Birds You Won't Believe They're Flowers

  Mother Nature plays a trick on us by making flowers that look exactly like birds Yulan magnolias are native to China. They've been cultivated in Buddhist temple gardens for nearly 1500 years. Regarded as a symbol of purity, they were planted around the emperor's palace during the Tang Dynasty. [...]

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  Tao, an 11-year-old golden retriever lost his eyesight to glaucoma last year, but has bounced back from the change with a little help from his guide dog puppy, Oko. Please give them both a warm welcome to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday

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  Blind Golden Retriever Gets Adorable Guide Dog Puppy Buddy to Help Him Get Around and Have Fun

  Tao the 11-year-old golden retriever last his eyesight to glaucoma last year but has bounced back from the change with a little help from Oko the puppy

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  2020 isn't done with us yet. This time it's GOATS EVERYWHERE

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  Herd of 350 goats escapes in Colorado, taking over neighborhood | OutThere Colorado

  A family's dog came to the rescue after more than 300 goats took over a Colorado neighborhood last weekend after managing to escape from their electric-fenced pen.

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  Give it up for southern alligator lizards, you humans haven't really loved someone enough to grip their head in your mouth for hours or days

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  Hold Me, Squeeze Me, Bite My Head

  Two recent research efforts looked into the southern alligator lizard, which has one of nature's more extreme mating strategies.

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  Panda Express: The Red Panda Adventures

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• Food
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  Make better biscuits with pasta flour. Also, use gravy for your gravy

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  Make Better Biscuits With Pasta Flour

  Are your biscuits falling flat? Kelly Fields, the Chef Owner of Willa Jean in New Orleans, has an answer: replace your flour.

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  Old and busted: A hotdog is not a sandwich. New freshness: A Subway sandwich is not a sandwich

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  Sandwiches in Subway 'too sugary to meet legal definition of being bread'

  The Supreme Court has found that the bread in Subway's heated sandwiches has too much sugar in it to meet the legal definition of being bread.

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  For a limited time, Carl's Jr. is the House of Prime Rib for the common man. In a breakfast burrito? Prime rib. On a biscuit? Prime rib. Topping a cheddar angus thickburger? Wait for it... prime rib

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  Carl's Jr. and Hardee's Welcomes New Prime Rib Thickburger, Burrito, and Biscuit Sandwich

  Carl's Jr. and Hardee's welcomes the new Prime Rib menu for a limited time, which features prime rib on a burger, wrapped up in a tortill...

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  Meanwhile in Knoxville, a self-proclaimed carnivore restaurant is opening next door to an established vegan restaurant. And the same guy owns both

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  A carnivore concept is coming downtown - next to a vegan restaurant. Will they compete?

  Avi Zenatti is expanding his presence in downtown Knoxville by opening KoPita Meat next to his KoPita Falafel and Hummus Bar on Gay Street.

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  A collector of vintage, unsealed whiskey bottles finds a holy grail - the booze collection of Cecil B. DeMille

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  Mr. DeMille, I'm Ready for Your Booze Stash

  Dusty hunters seek valuable old bottles of whiskey and other spirits. This one found the collection of a lifetime.

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• Politics
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  In case you're wondering why your dog is beating his head against the wall wall right now

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  This was supposed to be a boxing match, it instead turned into President Trump jumping on the ropes, refusing to come down, the referee trying to coax him off, and Joe Biden standing in the middle of the ring with his gloves on and a confused look

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  Trump Derails 1st Presidential Debate With Biden, And 5 Other Takeaways

  The president ran roughshod over debate moderator Chris Wallace and his Democratic opponent Joe Biden - and crossed many lines in the process.

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  Change.org petition to force the next debate moderator to mute the mic of the candidate not currently speaking. Farkers, do you thing

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  Sign the Petition

  Presidential Debate Decorum: Mute the Mics

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  Kentucky AG who was going to release the Breonna Taylor grand jury recordings suddenly needs a week for redactions. Probably just 18 minutes of redactions

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  Kentucky attorney general seeks delay in release of grand jury recordings in Breonna Taylor case

  Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron has asked for a one-week delay in the release of the grand jury recordings in the Breonna Taylor case.

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  Trump campaign press secretary goes rogue and tries to walk back Don's embrace of boy pride

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