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• Main
• Police report Houston shooter was disgruntled ambulance chaser, didn't think he was this desperate though  
  

   

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• Teenager in Siberia swings off 23-storey building to impress girl, falls and nearly dies. Perhaps someone should introduce him to Tinder  
  

  (Some Guy)  

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• Archeologists unearth 17th-century man who was buried face down at a distance from others. Then things get weird  
  

   

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• An inside look at Obama's imperialistic sedition against the glorious Cuban people's Revolution  
  

   

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• File this for future reference: Not only won't the IRS personally call you if you owe taxes, they will NOT ask you to put the payment on iTunes cards  
  

   

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• Sports
• New York Giants fan shows what a meltdown is supposed to look like (language is comically Not safe for work)  
  

  (elitesportsny.com)  

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• The once proud Edmonton Oilers settle on a Lynx mascot when no one would make a suit for their fist choice...which was a Clown with an erection  
  

   

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• The man who carried the Browns on his back blames himself for the loss  
  

   

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• The Big Ten's most explosive offensive player is out for the season and nobody cares  
  

  (The Runner Sports)  

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• The EPL closes out the week with Watford traveling to Burnley for the first fixture with both clubs in the top tier. Match kicks off in Turf Moor at 3pm EDT for those looking for a distraction  
  

   

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• Business
• With an EPA rating of 9,544 MPG, this rolling egg bike thing may be the most efficient vehicle ever put on a road  
  

   

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• 'Power Posing' co-author: "Yeah, Power Posing is bullshiat"  
  

   

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• EpiPen pre-tax profit actually 60% higher than what Mylan told Congress last week, ramps up accounting mumbo-jumbo to compensate  
  

   

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• Trump Hotel chain to pay $50,000 over credit card data breaches. No one knows who is behind the hacking, but authorities are investigating the possibility it came from a private e-mail server in Chappaqua, New York  
  

   

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• Moody's downgrades Turkey's credit rating to junk status. Some economists confused: "junk status" for Turkey is a downgrade?  
  

   

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• Geek
• Europa's a squirter  
  

   

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• Archeologists unearth 17th-century man who was buried face down at a distance from others. Then things get weird  
  

   

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• It's no longer a question of 'If' we will colonize Mars, but merely "When" and 'Who do we hate enough to send on the first ship?'  
  

   

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• Ancient trade of blacksmithing becomes popular again as homeowners demand eye-catching forged and handcrafted steel furnishings. Says one smith: "Most people don't understand how hard and intricate the process is"  
  

   

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• 100 of Facebook's biggest meme pages are boycotting the site over censorship  
  

   

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• Entertainment
• Anthony Bourdain, 60, discusses his healthful food and drink choices on recent work visit to LA. Spoiler: bacon, banchan, double-doubles, street-fair-style sausage-and-pepper heroes, tequila, and caipirinha ("plenty of Vitamin C") are on the menu  
  

   

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• "The #1 movie in America was called 'Ass.' And that's all it was for 90 minutes. It won eight Oscars that year, including best screenplay"  
  

   

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• Russian sex guru offers his 7 best 'concubines' to Brad Pitt - as if he's going to be short of female companionship  
  

   

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• Don't you just hate when your wedding shoot in Central Park gets interrupted by a photo bomber? Fark: Who happens to be Tom Hanks  
  

   

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• Ice Cube, legendary entertainer and water in its solid form, goes up against his greatest challenge. Charlie Day from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. And they say Hollywood is running out of ideas  
  

   

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• Politics
• Don't microaggress me. It's pronounced Raymond Luxury-Yacht  
  

   

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• Congressman Steve King (R-IoWHAT??) says the problem with Germany is that it's just not as racially pure as it used to be  
  

   

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• Why Democrats refuse to be lead out of funding Flint  
  

   

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• Brexit is so good for the UK economy that three-quarters of British CEOs are considering moving operations abroad  
  

   

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• Supplier of execution drugs to the state of Missouri files a motion in court claiming they don't make any money selling the drugs-they just do it 'cause they really like killin' people and thus the drug sales are 1st amendment-protected "free speech"  
  

   

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• Video
• New York Giants fan shows what a meltdown is supposed to look like (language is comically Not safe for work)  
  

  (elitesportsny.com)  

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• Meet Jessie Graff, the only woman ever to make it to the finals of "American Ninja Warrior"  
  

   

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• Wife drops lunch through car sunroof from high-rise, wins Wife of the Year award  
  

   

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• On September 25 1998, one of the greatest car chases ever filmed was released - Surrender yourselves to the Paris car chase of Ronin  
  

   

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• Jesus Christ, it's a lion. ROLL UP THE CAR WINDOWS  
  

   

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• FarkUs
• Friday night 10 minutes after we went home, Neil was smashed by a hit-and-run driver. Details in the comments -Drew  
  

   

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• You are the moderator at tonight's debate. You get one question. What is your question and who did you ask?  
  

   

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• The EPL closes out the week with Watford traveling to Burnley for the first fixture with both clubs in the top tier. Match kicks off in Turf Moor at 3pm EDT for those looking for a distraction  
  

   

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• The best cereals of all time, based on the vote of more than 570,000 morons  
  

   

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• Here is the history and evolution of the supermodel, because we can never have too many of them in our world  
  

   

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