Fri November 16, 2018

• Wolfgang Zuckermann, creator of the DIY home harpsichord, dies at the age of 96. His motto was, "If it ain't Baroque, fix it"  
  

   

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• 3600 inmate firefighters are risking their lives in California. All this hands-on training and experience will help them l- checks notes- they can't be firefighters due to their criminal records  
  

   

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• "Water commission hires PR firm to 'maintain transparency'." If your water isn't transparent, pretty sure PR won't fix it  
  

   

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• Prison chaplain delivers prayer, fentanyl, cell phones, tobacco and other tickets to heaven  
  

   

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• Jackson Hole Teton buttress cracks  
  

   

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• Discussion
• What's the best way to spend a snow day? Playing outside or staying warm indoors?  
  

   

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• Winnebago warrior stalled traffic an hour on the commute home. Near-miss on head-on collision today, my fault....got nailed by a red-light camera too, all to visit the FIL who we just put into assisted living. How was your day?  
  

   

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• "Newsday, Newsday, read all about it." - Remembering the days when a newspaper could influence your life and shape a region  
  

   

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• The Soul Squad needs a good person guru, and Michael knows exactly who they need to find. But they might run into trouble, because Sean is back and he just took the Ferrari out of the garage. It's The Good Place at 8:30Pm ET on NBC  
  

   

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• The Seahawks and Packers square off in a regular-season tilt for the fifth-straight year. So will Aaron Rodgers lead Green Bay to victory or will Pete Carroll's team swoop in for the win? It's your Thursday Night Football thread on FOX/NFL at 8:20 ET  
  

  (Some Guy)  

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• Sports
• Welcome to T-Mobile Field, home of the Seattle Mariners. Life is for sharing  
  

   

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• Not news: they spelled your name wrong on your jersey. News: your dad is the coach. Fark.com: the coach is Jim Boeheim  
  

   

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• And I thought trouts played baseball, not football  
  

   

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• How'd that pre-game intimidation work out?  
  

   

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• On heels of naming Manfred their man, MLB announces huge $5.1 billion extension for Fox Sports to continue as national baseball broadcaster through 2028, up 36 percent from current deal. Somebody (perhaps you) is watching all these games  
  

   

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• Business
• Joe the Camel is dead, cigarette commercials are gone, so why is our teens smoking again?  
  

   

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• Reason No. 362,968 why having Amazon come to NYC sucks: Hundreds of public school staffers will lose their offices because of New York's crappy Amazon deal  
  

   

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• Drew University plans cuts. Beer, Bourbon, and Vodak departments appear safe for now  
  

   

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• During the trial of "El Chapo", the Sinaloa Cartel's accountant spoke with unflinching cool as though managing the affairs of any major corporation - which, in a way, he did  
  

   

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• Facebooks' latest episodes have allowed it to be upgraded to "sleazy"  
  

   

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• Geek
• Historian exploiting facial recognition software & the sharing community... But in a good way. It's name that beard, Civil War edition  
  

   

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• Year 13 students petition for lenient marking of history exam because one essay question dropped unfamiliar word of "trivial" on them without any explanation or definition  
  

   

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• You know there's a thing on social media of watching people unbox their new toy. But have you seen James May unbox his new hotrod hatchback?  
  

   

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• Man breaks record for eating corn with a toothpick  
  

   

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• "Do Not Be Afraid of Killer Robots," a column by New York Times analyst Ima Hooman  
  

   

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• Entertainment
• Today's trainwreck of an interview is brought to you by Mickey Mouse  
  

   

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• That Theatin fake band guy says getting caught was all part of his plan  
  

   

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• Dave Grohl says Kurt Cobain's suicide taught him to appreciate life, be a better singer than Cobain ever was  
  

   

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• Isan Elba: "Then he said, 'I'm the Sexiest Man Alive.' I was like, 'Oh, yeah. That. That thing. Uh, okay, cool. You're welcome' "  
  

   

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• News that Stone Cold Steve Austin has stopped drinking beer is grossly exaggerated. "Why in the f-k would I do that"  
  

   

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• D'awww
• Cats and fail to enter Japanese museum for two years, but they've won the Internet  
  

   

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• Paw and order: Too cute Thursday starts now  
  

   

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• Dog in need of prosthetic leg finds perfect fit with new family, wants steak  
  

   

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• Goodnight Lily. This dog is awesome and I just wanted to share her story with you folks  
  

   

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• Your dog is a ninja and wants beer  
  

   

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• Food
• McDonald's Hong Kong unveils signature menu designed by HK pop singer to emulate his childhood comfort food. Items include Bolognese and Fried Egg Angus Beef Burger, Siew Mei-flavored shaker fries, Cookie and Milk Tea McFlurry, and Orange Punch  
  

   

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• Utah to start lab testing beers to make sure they're under 4 percent alcohol, as state requires proof  
  

   

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• Iceland's president says he went too far threatening to ban the most disgusting pizza known to mankind [after Chicago casserole]  
  

   

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• Dairy Queen is serious about helping you maintain your trim figure, offers "Hungry Up" deal that lets you cowboy up to 3, 4, or 5 crispy chicken strips to sate your hunger. Naturally, all meals include fries and a mini Blizzard  
  

   

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• Subby will be in Chicago in two weeks, and has never been there before. Help me find a restaurant within walking distance of the Hyatt Regency. Please  
  

  (Some Guy)  

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• Politics
• Idiot right-winger appears to be behind phony Avenatti arrest report. Enjoy prison, Jacob  
  

   

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• Pentagon fails first official audit - if we only had more funding we could get around to hiring some proper accountants  
  

   

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• Even the mayor of Portland doesn't want to be the mayor of Portland  
  

   

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• Well GOP, you can rest easy in Florida, voter suppression worked  
  

   

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• Julian Assange has been charged under seal, according to Washington Post  
  

   

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