Comments

  • I hope you are doing better.
  • I spent 3 days in psychiatric detention a few years ago

    /If that doesn't make you want to kill yourself, nothing will
  • Jesus Christ... I'm so glad I never called for help from a hospital when I was suicidal. I don't think I'd be able to survive that.
  • I have years of experience walking both sides of that line.
    on one side ordering supplies for a Psych unit, on the other My Wife being in and out of the Same Unit as a patient.

    Care for the Patient has gone down hill badly over the last few years. ie Journals for the patients with colors on the cover went to basic black, and then plain eliminated because copy paper is cheaper.
  • Did you meet any celebrities?

    Should I be looking up to the left or to the right when I ask?

    I shouldn't jest, I suppose, because this is serious business, but I can't resist humour, especially if Trumpers are involved. It's how I deal with serious things. If I look like I am deep in thought, I am probably totally blank. I've learned this from a lot of people who ask me "What's so funny?" or "Why so serious?"
  • Outing myself as subby, because I desperately want my story to start a real discussion nationwide about how we treat those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts.  If you can help share my story and make it go viral, I would be so grateful.

    I know I can't be the only one who needed a safe place to go for a night, and some comfort, and instead went through hell.  I want to see the system change.  Badly.

    Thank you Farkers.  Sorry to be such a lurker ;)
  • brantgoose: Did you meet any celebrities?

    Should I be looking up to the left or to the right when I ask?

    I shouldn't jest, I suppose, because this is serious business, but I can't resist humour, especially if Trumpers are involved. It's how I deal with serious things. If I look like I am deep in thought, I am probably totally blank. I've learned this from a lot of people who ask me "What's so funny?" or "Why so serious?"


    Nope, no celebrities, sorry to disappoint. ;)
    And I promise I am as anti-trump as they come.  But yes, I, too, generally deal with heavy stuff with humor.
  • Some years ago a mentally ill friend of mine was struggling with some neighbors being inconsiderate. He struggled with depression and the effects of some of the really stiff SSRIs he'd received as a teenager. I advised that he talk to his doctor about the difficulty he was having, to get a medical out from his lease; at least he could move. Instead he was held overnight and for quite a while he lived at a facility. I was lucky to see him a couple of years ago when he was visiting local family and this story reminds me of the guilt I felt about encouraging him to seek help like this.

    On the other hand, he survived, and it's good to be reminded of these things. Thank you, subby.
  • WTFDYW: I hope you are doing better.


    Thank you, I am still in a lot of pain but I got my hope back, so I will keep going.
  • bearwife: Outing myself as subby, because I desperately want my story to start a real discussion nationwide about how we treat those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts.  If you can help share my story and make it go viral, I would be so grateful.

    I know I can't be the only one who needed a safe place to go for a night, and some comfort, and instead went through hell.  I want to see the system change.  Badly.

    Thank you Farkers.  Sorry to be such a lurker ;)


    That's a chilling story. You've had more than your share of pain and I feel for you and hope things get better.

    I never do this, but for what it's worth, **HUGS**.
  • Been in and out of the physch ward for years.

    There's very little therapy. It's really just to keep you supervised so you don't off yourself. The Dr's are pretty useless. Nurses and to a lesser extent the techs are really the only ones who can be helpful. From my experience you were lucky to have a bed in CPEP.

    It might be kind of insulting, but utilizing the arts and crafts type stuff helps keep what sainity you have left.

    For whatever reason I was never lucky enough to get a pencil to do crosswords, I guess they don't want me to copy Heath Ledger's Joker's magic trick.

    I do believe that they need to invest in drop in crisis centers to avoid this type of situation.
  • Oof, alright. about 18 months ago I spent 12 days on a psych ward. They had a couple of beds available for addicts/alcoholics (me) to dry out and stabilize. It was voluntary for me, but not for everyone else. Incredibly eye opening to see how these folk suffered, not just from their illnesses but from neglect. The nurses were pretty good, but had waaayyy too much on their plates.
    Let me tell you, that memory has helped keep me sober many times when I wanted to drink/use.
    Being reasonably sane as a patient on that ward was a game changer for me.
  • tudorgurl: Jesus Christ... I'm so glad I never called for help from a hospital when I was suicidal. I don't think I'd be able to survive that.


    Yeah, seriously, all that taught me is to not call for help when in that situation.

    Clearly there is no help available there, it sounds no better than a psych ward from a hundred years ago, although perhaps back then you might at least have been given some drugs.
  • Nidiot: tudorgurl: Jesus Christ... I'm so glad I never called for help from a hospital when I was suicidal. I don't think I'd be able to survive that.

    Yeah, seriously, all that taught me is to not call for help when in that situation.

    Clearly there is no help available there, it sounds no better than a psych ward from a hundred years ago, although perhaps back then you might at least have been given some drugs.


    I've known people to go into it knowing full well what it was going to be like, and knowing nothing else was liable to stop them from killing themselves.  Sometimes people just need the time to think it through properly while at the same time a big goon will stop them from self-harming and they are isolated from the rest of life's issues and bullshiat.  It's not the run of the mill, but it happens.
  • bearwife: Outing myself as subby, because I desperately want my story to start a real discussion nationwide about how we treat those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts.  If you can help share my story and make it go viral, I would be so grateful.

    I know I can't be the only one who needed a safe place to go for a night, and some comfort, and instead went through hell.  I want to see the system change.  Badly.

    Thank you Farkers.  Sorry to be such a lurker ;)


    Thank you for outing yourself badass bear lady. You're made of frickin' adamantium to make it through that when you were barely hanging by a thread as it was.

    I have nothing more to say except to add to MrBallou's awkward internet *HUGS* I'll remember your story.
  • bearwife: Outing myself as subby, because I desperately want my story to start a real discussion nationwide about how we treat those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts.  If you can help share my story and make it go viral, I would be so grateful.

    I know I can't be the only one who needed a safe place to go for a night, and some comfort, and instead went through hell.  I want to see the system change.  Badly.

    Thank you Farkers.  Sorry to be such a lurker ;)


    Thank you for this. It took a lot of courage, and you are doing a service for everyone who has considered voluntary commitment. it is stories like yours which kept me from putting myself in that position.
  • bearwife: Outing myself as subby, because I desperately want my story to start a real discussion nationwide about how we treat those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts.  If you can help share my story and make it go viral, I would be so grateful.

    I know I can't be the only one who needed a safe place to go for a night, and some comfort, and instead went through hell.  I want to see the system change.  Badly.

    Thank you Farkers.  Sorry to be such a lurker ;)


    That had to be a traumatic experience on so many levels. I hope you are able to stabilize. You are worth the effort. And, may I offer up one Buddhist maxim? Being better isn't like climbing a ladder. Do the best you can, each day, realizing that it will sometimes be a highly effective day...a one others may be less so. Neither is better than the other. Both are laudable.

    If you ever need to talk, my email is in my profile.
  • https://www.supremecourt.ohio.gov/JCS​/​CFC/resources/probateBenchCards/mental​lyIll.pdf

    http://www.wolfslaw.com/estate/commit​-​fighting.htm

    Before anyone EVER thinks about voluntary commitment or every saying anything about suicidal thoughts or the minute they hear of any friend of family member talking about the same, GET A GODDAMN COPY OF THE LAWS/PAMPHLET OF YOUR RIGHTS AND READ IT.

    Chances are, they're going to grossly f*ck up anything and everything in, during, and about the process and your civil rights are gonna be violated six ways to Sunday.

    Ask me how I know.

    Hint: A psychologist lost her license for good for ever and ever, a mental health agency and a hospital violated HIPAA and had the FEDERAL DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES ream them new orifices, there were investigations all around, and I'm pretty sure that if there is any kind of Official Record of me out there, I'm marked down permanently as "Major Asshole - Do Not F*ck With - Treat With Respect and Dignity At All Times - Does Not Pose A Threat Unless Abused Or Antagonized".

    As I tell people, I do not care if you like me or hate me, but we will have problems if you fail to respect me, at which point Asshole Mode Engaged.  And if I decide that someone else I give a shiat about is being abused or disrespected, I will become *their* asshole if they can't stand up for themselves or need a hand.

    /seriously, psychologist in question should never have been hired, lied all over, had her license suspended and the suspension in abeyance provided she met terms she wasn't meeting, including passing random whiz-quizzes due to a substance abuse problem, and this was all found out after she dun goofed up.
    //I have serious issues concerning abuses of power and trust as a result
    ///when everyone admits that everything was completely f*cked up, please don't sue us, you know it was bad, and I listen to one Doctor, and that's David Tennant's, on how to deal with the situation, and that is "you get one chance to admit fault/change your ways".
  • Thank you for this Bearwife. It took a lot of courage to share. You are brave to ask for help and beaver still to speak out about your experience. I am interested in your despair- preparedness kit. The plans they make you create tend to be inadequate.
  • bearwife: Outing myself as subby, because I desperately want my story to start a real discussion nationwide about how we treat those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts.  If you can help share my story and make it go viral, I would be so grateful.

    I know I can't be the only one who needed a safe place to go for a night, and some comfort, and instead went through hell.  I want to see the system change.  Badly.

    Thank you Farkers.  Sorry to be such a lurker ;)


    You've got 2 approved links! That's at least one level above Lurker.
  • Nurglitch: Some years ago a mentally ill friend of mine was struggling with some neighbors being inconsiderate. He struggled with depression and the effects of some of the really stiff SSRIs he'd received as a teenager. I advised that he talk to his doctor about the difficulty he was having, to get a medical out from his lease; at least he could move. Instead he was held overnight and for quite a while he lived at a facility. I was lucky to see him a couple of years ago when he was visiting local family and this story reminds me of the guilt I felt about encouraging him to seek help like this.

    On the other hand, he survived, and it's good to be reminded of these things. Thank you, subby.


    My wife once wound up in a State Facility because I confronted a DR telling her i would take my wife home AMA, she overruled with an involuntary Psych admit.
    My wife was beat up and had her clothing stolen in the 2 WEEKS it to to get her out, and mind you I was the bad guy.
  • Unfortunately, when you tell people you need to be kept from harming yourself, they'll make sure you can't harm yourself.  Consider the full spectrum of how people can harm themselves and then you'll arrive at hospital policies for mental health crisis patients - isolated, no utensils, anything to hurt yourself with - pencils, that remote, etc.  Hell, the hospital I worked at had to stop giving patients bananas because a woman cut herself with it.  Their primary objective and secondary objective is to keep you from harming yourself.  Triage. You can't get well until you get stabilized  - real therapy is for outpatient. Comforting hugs and soft language is for outpatient.  Right now, by your own admission, you need to be kept from harming yourself.  You stay for a few days until the meds kick in / the crisis passes and you're "resourced" in the community - other people to take on your care.

    The inpatient mental health system is really designed for critical care / imminent crisis only.  Violent psychotic breaks, basically.  There should be a safer place for people who only need a few hours of observation, but there aren't so people are told to go to an ER.  There should be a more in-between level of care.  Should it all have a better coat of paint on it? Certainly.  More time 1:1 with doctors? Absolutely.  Long talks about everything you're suffering from ever? Sure.  But the queue is filling up behind you, so the staff has to keep patients moving.  Always moving.
  • gadian: Unfortunately, when you tell people you need to be kept from harming yourself, they'll make sure you can't harm yourself.


    Yes, but they do it in the most harmful way possible.

    I have a friend with an experience much like Subby's: he was experiencing a crisis and what he needed was emergency medical intervention. What he got instead was incarceration and seclusion.

    He's never doing that again - he says if a crisis reoccurs we either have to swear to secrecy from the system or just let him off himself. The system shouldn't punish you for asking for help.
  • bearwife: Sorry to be such a lurker ;)


    Don't be.

    Quite frankly, I'd be afraid to post anything like that here, what with all the assholes.  Kudos to you for trying to make a difference.
  • Keep in mind, I was not to be allowed any visitors while I was in the psych ward.  Zero.  Not family, not even my pastor or therapist.

    That seems inexcusable.

    My neighbor actually shot himself intentionally.  He tried to commit suicide*.  He got transported by helicopter from our local hospital to the trauma ward at a bigger one 50 miles away.   Obviously, he was on suicide watch (duh!).

    Couple of days afterwards I went down to visit him, and his ex-wife was there, and there was an attendant with him at all times in the room, but we were allowed to visit.  I even cut his hair (set of clippers, no scissors) because his ex-wife didn't really know how and I'd been cutting my own hair for years.  We actually had a nice visit.  We have a close neighborhood.  My wife and another neighbor drove his ex-wife down to the hospital that night, and we kept an eye on her for a while because she blamed herself for what he did**.

    Not allowing visitors for someone who is suicidal seems like it is a policy calculated to make the situation worse.  After all, you need support, *ESPECIALLY* of family and friends.  Professional help too, of course, which it sounds like you didn't get much of, at least at first.

    And I would think it would be best to get that support early.  Not letting your husband visit was inexplicable, and inexcusable.


    *It's a good thing he wasn't a "gun guy".  He had to borrow a rifle, and he used .22 Shorts.  His lack of knowledge about guns is probably what saved his life.  And no, I don't lend my guns to anyone, it wasn't me.

    **Not without some justification, but still, we're all responsible for our own actions.  We helped them both get through a difficult time.
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