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  • Early onset zombieism?

    Seal that casket well
  • I'm good with steak, thanks. Not looking to set any records.
  • If I live for an extended length of time and someone asks, I will say something as ridiculous as this.
  • Give him credit for living that long.
  • "We will all miss his signature charm, dry wit and love of chocolate"

    farking Austrians, go annex the Sudetenland already.
  • tell you what, a good bud advised starting your chicken stock with a package of chicken feet and i found out the man isn't lying. check it out yourself. me, i always use a 1/2 bottle of wine too, in my starter broth. it makes for soups that are just wonderful.
  • you have lived for 115 years, what is your secret to long life?

    "cook with lard.  smoke no more than 10 menthol cigarettes a day. Shot of whiskey at lunch and two after dinner.  Never go to the doctor."
  • I've looked everywhere. I can't even find chicken brains at the Asian Market.
  • dryknife: I've looked everywhere. I can't even find chicken brains at the Asian Market.


    BRAINS!!!
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  • This was no doubt the gateway drug of immortality that led to SOCIALISTS eating human baby pituitary glands.
    encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
  • likwidflame: If I live for an extended length of time and someone asks, I will say something as ridiculous as this.


    Hopefully when the time comes I can remember this gem from Family Guy when someone asked Quagmire what his secret was to looking so young: "Aah, carrots. Sometimes I grind them up in the juice or just eat 'em raw. Or insert them anally. As long as I get 'em into my body somehow." - Quagmire
  • Just how many chicken brains does it take for a good scramble?
  • I've always liked JKJ's take on the subject...

    And I told him how I came to discover it all.

    Then he opened me and looked down me, and clutched hold of my wrist, and then he hit me over the chest when I wasn't expecting it - a cowardly thing to do, I call it - and immediately afterwards butted me with the side of his head. After that, he sat down and wrote out a prescription, and folded it up and gave it me, and I put it in my pocket and went out.

    I did not open it. I took it to the nearest chemist's, and handed it in. The man read it, and then handed it back.

    He said he didn't keep it.
    I said:
    "You are a chemist?"
    He said:
    "I am a chemist. If I was a co-operative stores and family hotel combined, I might be able to oblige you. Being only a chemist hampers me."

    I read the prescription. It ran:
    "1 lb. beefsteak, with
    1 pt. bitter beer
    every 6 hours.
    1 ten-mile walk every morning.
    1 bed at 11 sharp every night.
    And don't stuff up your head with things you don't understand."

    I followed the directions, with the happy result - speaking for myself - that my life was preserved, and is still going on.

    In the present instance, going back to the liver-pill circular, I had the symptoms, beyond all mistake, the chief among them being "a general disinclination to work of any kind."

    What I suffer in that way no tongue can tell. From my earliest infancy I have been a martyr to it. As a boy, the disease hardly ever left me for a day. They did not know, then, that it was my liver. Medical science was in a far less advanced state than now, and they used to put it down to laziness.


    /I really like the cut of that doctorb's jib!
  • I'm 48 and have body parts that hurt for no reason already.  Living to 111 sounds miserable.  What can this guy recommend that will kill me off before long before 111?
  • rosekolodny: Just how many chicken brains does it take for a good scramble?


    hunh, I thought thesneeze/stevedonteatit had covered this, but...

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  • LOTR The Fellowship of the Ring - Extended Edition - A Long-expected Party Part 2
    Youtube CiRu_W9tzM8


    /I know, Kiwi, but close enough...
  • The secret to getting old is to pick good genes to start with.

    /So not yours.
  • tintar: rosekolodny: Just how many chicken brains does it take for a good scramble?

    hunh, I thought thesneeze/stevedonteatit had covered this, but...

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    Ew, gravy.
  •  

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