Comments

  • If your grandmother had a will, and it was probated, it will be public record. Go to the court clerk's office in the county of the will's probate (probably where your grandmother last lived). Identify the file by name and date of death of the deceased. If you're specifically named as a beneficiary for something you didn't get, have the clerk make copies for your upcoming lawsuit against your dad.

    /This will only help you identify official bequests. Informal bequests will not be included.
    //I am not a law-talking guy
    ///Since this is the Discussion column, IANAL. (It's always the answer.)
  • The lower dollar limit for the probate court varies wildly from state to state.  Could be a few thousand, or up to $200,000.

    If  there's no will filed with the probate court, and it comes down to asking your shady dad... then why bother.
  • Fear the Clam: If your grandmother had a will, and it was probated, it will be public record. Go to the court clerk's office in the county of the will's probate (probably where your grandmother last lived). Identify the file by name and date of death of the deceased. If you're specifically named as a beneficiary for something you didn't get, have the clerk make copies for your upcoming lawsuit against your dad.

    /This will only help you identify official bequests. Informal bequests will not be included.
    //I am not a law-talking guy
    ///Since this is the Discussion column, IANAL. (It's always the answer.)


    Yeah, I was going to come in and link this guide to locating and requesting probate files. The advice of "go ask your dad" in TFA is pretty poor.
  • Wills need to be probated.  Go to to the courts records.
  • Sounds Shakespearean.  You should probably contact a seer or an oracle or somebody.
  • thisispete: The advice of "go ask your dad" in TFA is pretty poor.


    This is the likely outcome:
    Fark user imageView Full Size
  • Billy Liar: Sounds Shakespearean.  You should probably contact a seer or an oracle or somebody.


    First make sure the wills of everyone involved are up to date.
  • 1. As already mentioned, check probate records. If your name isn't in there, don't assume anything is being withheld from you. Since you already think your dad is shady, keep your distance, but don't accuse him of something that you might have completely made up.
    2. If your name is in there, and you would only get a relatively small sum (not enough to improve your life in any significant way, as you seem to suspect), don't pursue it, just cut your father out of your life completely - it's worth a couple thousand dollars to get rid of someone that shiatty.
    3. If your name is in there and you believe it's a substantial sum that your father wouldn't have pissed away yet, lawyer up. This is very iffy though - it's been five years, you'd probably be well aware if your dad suddenly got rich.
  • Unless grandma really hated/distrusted your dad (if so, probably wouldn't have made him executor), it's likely you didn't get much of substance in the will.  Most of the time, wealth passes from one generation to the next, not parsed out among grandchildren.  My fairly well to do grandparents loved us grandkids but didn't leave us a red cent when they passed.  It all went to their children with the idea that it will eventually get to us and then to our children on down the line.

    That said, unless he was already on her accounts and property deeds he would need to go through probate to get ahold of her assets.  You can always go research the probate files as other posters mentioned above.  Much better than asking your shady dad that you don't trust if he took money from you that was probably never there for you anyway.

    Pretty shiatty advice for a column that makes up its own questions.
  • When my dad died, I hadn't seen him in probably 30 years or so but we talked on the phone for birthdays and holidays etc. so we weren't out of touch. But he lived in Miami and I live in Illinois so it was just one of those things.

    When he was sick/dying he talked to our mother and said he had something set aside for my brother and me. I don't know what it was. Maybe a little money or a life insurance policy or something maybe.  I don't know.

    He had remarried and after he died, My mother asked his wife to ask about what he had left for us. She never responded and blocked everyone and cut off all communication. He wasn't wealthy or anything so whatever it was probably wasn't much but I'm sure whatever it was, she kept for herself.
  • abhorrent1: When my dad died, I hadn't seen him in probably 30 years or so but we talked on the phone for birthdays and holidays etc. so we weren't out of touch. But he lived in Miami and I live in Illinois so it was just one of those things.

    When he was sick/dying he talked to our mother and said he had something set aside for my brother and me. I don't know what it was. Maybe a little money or a life insurance policy or something maybe.  I don't know.

    He had remarried and after he died, My mother asked his wife to ask about what he had left for us. She never responded and blocked everyone and cut off all communication. He wasn't wealthy or anything so whatever it was probably wasn't much but I'm sure whatever it was, she kept for herself.


    My great aunt gave out things she wanted family members to have before she passed away.

    I always thought is the best way to handle things. B
  • The nice hooker wearing Louboutin shoes and driving a brand new corvette in front of his brand new vacation home in Florida will calmly reassure you that, no, he has not stolen your inheritance.

    Personally, I would believe her and move on with life.
  • I have (sort of) been in this situation. I had an aunt who was wealthy, but most of her assets ended up being spent for her care during the final two years of life. The remainder went to my father, with a sister being the executor. Again, most of that went to his care. By the time it was over, there were no assets left.

    And people think there will be a generational transfer of wealth. Not if the Medical/Industrial Complex has any say in it.
  • Fear the Clam: If your grandmother had a will, and it was probated, it will be public record. Go to the court clerk's office in the county of the will's probate (probably where your grandmother last lived). Identify the file by name and date of death of the deceased. If you're specifically named as a beneficiary for something you didn't get, have the clerk make copies for your upcoming lawsuit against your dad.

    /This will only help you identify official bequests. Informal bequests will not be included.
    //I am not a law-talking guy
    ///Since this is the Discussion column, IANAL. (It's always the answer.)


    This.   Mind to go by the article i am guessing the money is largely gone.
  • And here I was, about to suggest that LW eliminate all other potential heirs and then kill the father. When and why did advice threads start getting so reasonable around here?
  • kdawg7736: Why don't you ask him?


    What money?
  • WTFDYW: kdawg7736: Why don't you ask him?

    What money?


    Jewels, stock, collectibles, but no money.
  • Fear the Clam: If your grandmother had a will, and it was probated, it will be public record. Go to the court
    ...
    ///Since this is the Discussion column, IANAL. (It's always the answer.)


    I've also seen "I am not your lawyer, and you are not my client" (maybe not on fark).  But it is better to assume the posts are from someone whose GED in law has long since expired.
  • Eliminating generational wealth transfer is the key to reducing inequality.
  • TedCruz'sCrazyDad: abhorrent1: When my dad died, I hadn't seen him in probably 30 years or so but we talked on the phone for birthdays and holidays etc. so we weren't out of touch. But he lived in Miami and I live in Illinois so it was just one of those things.

    When he was sick/dying he talked to our mother and said he had something set aside for my brother and me. I don't know what it was. Maybe a little money or a life insurance policy or something maybe.  I don't know.

    He had remarried and after he died, My mother asked his wife to ask about what he had left for us. She never responded and blocked everyone and cut off all communication. He wasn't wealthy or anything so whatever it was probably wasn't much but I'm sure whatever it was, she kept for herself.

    My great aunt gave out things she wanted family members to have before she passed away.

    I always thought is the best way to handle things. B


    This /|\.

    If you have special knickknacks that would go to certain individuals; either pass them out in a face to face type setting; or write up a detailed codicil (an extra letter as part of your will) and entrust those items and letters to a disinterested 3rd party.  ( ie, the lawyer).

    That way you know your special thing went to who you wanted. And wasn't stolen by the first relative to get into your house and start grabbing things!
  • Another Government Employee: I have (sort of) been in this situation. I had an aunt who was wealthy, but most of her assets ended up being spent for her care during the final two years of life. The remainder went to my father, with a sister being the executor. Again, most of that went to his care. By the time it was over, there were no assets left.

    And people think there will be a generational transfer of wealth. Not if the Medical/Industrial Complex has any say in it.


    It rather amuses me when I see average people with expectations of inheriting. The medical system these days can keep you technically alive until the money runs out, and it will. Need to go into aged care, no problem, there goes the family home. A lifetime of effort can be gone in the last months of life. Everything is designed to wring out every last cent it can.

    These days you've got to have serious money to have anything leftover to pass on when you die.
  • Nidiot: Another Government Employee: I have (sort of) been in this situation. I had an aunt who was wealthy, but most of her assets ended up being spent for her care during the final two years of life. The remainder went to my father, with a sister being the executor. Again, most of that went to his care. By the time it was over, there were no assets left.

    And people think there will be a generational transfer of wealth. Not if the Medical/Industrial Complex has any say in it.

    It rather amuses me when I see average people with expectations of inheriting. The medical system these days can keep you technically alive until the money runs out, and it will. Need to go into aged care, no problem, there goes the family home. A lifetime of effort can be gone in the last months of life. Everything is designed to wring out every last cent it can.

    These days you've got to have serious money to have anything leftover to pass on when you die.


    When our mother had a stroke, the intake person at the nursing home demanded that one of us sign a guarantee in case Medicaid didn't pay. They demanded everything she might have owned or co-owned - even a burial plot. Apparently, these demands were in keeping with the law and Medicaid regulations. She had absolutely nothing, but it shook me to realize that a person could pay along for years on a burial plot, to spare their family hardship, only to have a nursing home seize the plot a few years before death.
  • Bruscar: Nidiot: Another Government Employee: I have (sort of) been in this situation. I had an aunt who was wealthy, but most of her assets ended up being spent for her care during the final two years of life. The remainder went to my father, with a sister being the executor. Again, most of that went to his care. By the time it was over, there were no assets left.

    And people think there will be a generational transfer of wealth. Not if the Medical/Industrial Complex has any say in it.

    It rather amuses me when I see average people with expectations of inheriting. The medical system these days can keep you technically alive until the money runs out, and it will. Need to go into aged care, no problem, there goes the family home. A lifetime of effort can be gone in the last months of life. Everything is designed to wring out every last cent it can.

    These days you've got to have serious money to have anything leftover to pass on when you die.

    When our mother had a stroke, the intake person at the nursing home demanded that one of us sign a guarantee in case Medicaid didn't pay. They demanded everything she might have owned or co-owned - even a burial plot. Apparently, these demands were in keeping with the law and Medicaid regulations. She had absolutely nothing, but it shook me to realize that a person could pay along for years on a burial plot, to spare their family hardship, only to have a nursing home seize the plot a few years before death.


    Nursing homes are a racket.
  •  

This thread is closed to new comments.


Close