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What do you do if you get rejected for a job at the sunscreen company? Reapply. It is your Bad Joke Thursday thread

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Summer Dad Jokes So Hot Your Boy Will Son-Burn

Summer dad jokes are hot this time of year, kids. Hotter than cargo shorts. Hotter than even shiny, white New Balance sneakers.

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Azz

2022-06-23 07:29:07 AM

Why doesn't a shark have wings?
Because it doesn't need them

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RabidRythmDivas

2022-06-23 08:12:23 AM

It would be a shocker if a Vulcan ever lost his ring finger . . .

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KC Dutchman

2022-06-23 08:36:05 AM

A beautiful woman waved at me at the beach yesterday.

But there was no way I was swimming out that far to talk to her

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KC Dutchman

2022-06-23 08:57:27 AM

All men think they are marrying nymphomaniacs.

The problem is, after a few years, the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.

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Pugdaddyk

2022-06-23 09:59:54 AM

Get away from her Skippy before she shiats on you.

No need for the entire joke. It's an old one and the first thing that popped in my head.

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WelldeadLink

2022-06-23 10:40:57 AM

Pugdaddyk: Get away from her Skippy before she shiats on you.

No need for the entire joke. It's an old one and the first thing that popped in my head.

Too late, you already got chocolate on my Skippy.

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scrumpox

2022-06-23 11:24:30 AM

That's not a Long Island duck

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GN Nymph

2022-06-23 11:49:17 AM

Look at what I found...

Dad Jokes
@Dadsaysjokes
What starts with a W and ends with a T.
It really does, I swear.
https://twitter.com/Dadsaysjokes/status/1533921572733452289

I've just invented the first thought controlled air freshner.
It makes scents...when you think about it.
https://twitter.com/Dadsaysjokes/status/1533870687026298883

My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
https://twitter.com/Dadsaysjokes/status/1533921371071315968

Some people claim filling animals with helium is wrong.
I say, whatever floats your goat...
https://twitter.com/DadJokeMan/status/1534046132631965701

I just turned down a job delivering for my local fruit and veg shop...
They offered to pay me in vegetables, but the celery was unacceptable.
https://twitter.com/DadJokeMan/status/1533696915170369538

I once used to date an archaeologist but I had to break up with her.
She just kept digging up the past...
https://twitter.com/DadJokeMan/status/1533341206486343682

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GN Nymph

2022-06-23 11:50:03 AM

A Judge addressed the court, at the start of a case:

"I have to declare an interest in this case. Last week, the plaintiff sent me a check for $10,000 to find in his favor. Two days later, I received $20,000 from the defendant to find in his favor.

"I have therefore sent $10,000 back to the defendant and can try the case without bias."

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baka-san

2022-06-23 12:02:49 PM

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland

Well, the flags a plus

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kdawg7736