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  • I see examples of this all the time towards me and others.
  • 0/6

    But those seem much more personality than attractiveness
  • 7) You don't submit slide shows as Fark links because you have enough self-awareness and general empathy to understand that nobody likes them, that they're bottom of the barrel content, and that promoting them in any way makes you look like the sort of half-sentient idiot drowning in his or her own drool who probably also spends inordinate amounts of time consuming listicles, Twitter essays, and paid ad placements.
  • Beauty is way down the list of reasons we hate subby.
  • Well, of course, I'm a golden ray of chocolate dipped motherf*cking sunshine.
  • 8) you understand the difference between a slide show, and one "continue reading" button
  • 6 Signs You're Secretly Attractive To Other People and they want to give you Covid.
  • What's the intimacy zone? 8 inches from you.


    8 inches? Oh, until they feel a barrier?

    Fark user imageView Full Size
  • 8) When they start talking to you in line and their significant other comes running over, pushing people out of the way, to ask them an inane question "did you remember to close the refridgerator door?" then starts hanging on them awkwardly.
  • Was this written for aliens learning to be human?
  • 9) They don't mind the smell of chloroform.
  • Is people oversharing unsolicited information with you one of them? Cuz I have that.

    /"You have a penis-shaped hairy mole on your ass? Wow! Love that for you!"
  • I would have to be one charming motherf*cking pig.

    /I'm a filthy animal
  • I'm not good looking and I'm none of those things that make people attractive. Mostly I hate everyone.

    So why do old men in the grocery store keep trying to chat me up?   Last week one walked me to my truck. WTF, leave me alone. I don't shop before 8:00 am because I love people. I shop that early so I don't have to deal with anyone.
  • Gramma: I'm not good looking and I'm none of those things that make people attractive. Mostly I hate everyone.

    So why do old men in the grocery store keep trying to chat me up?   Last week one walked me to my truck. WTF, leave me alone. I don't shop before 8:00 am because I love people. I shop that early so I don't have to deal with anyone.


    It's them biscuits
  • Gramma: I'm not good looking and I'm none of those things that make people attractive. Mostly I hate everyone.

    So why do old men in the grocery store keep trying to chat me up?   Last week one walked me to my truck. WTF, leave me alone. I don't shop before 8:00 am because I love people. I shop that early so I don't have to deal with anyone.


    Username definitely checks out. At least regarding my grandmothers.
  • 1. People breach your intimacy zone.

    Technically, yes. People tend to physically push me away at times, reducing that intimacy zone to literally zero.

    2. People are happy around you

    Does that include laughing while pointing at me?

    3. People find opportunities to bond with you through touch.

    See #1.

    4. People get lost in your eyes.

    I guess so? I mean, they've been described as "lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes,"  so I guess they've been paying attention.

    5. People tell you you have a 'good vibe'

    Indeed they have! They often tell me Hitachi makes the best, so I made a good choice in that

    6. You're genuinely interested in other people

    DAMNIT. So close.

    Ah well, my score is 5/6 anyway...
  • eKonk: 1. People breach your intimacy zone.

    Technically, yes. People tend to physically push me away at times, reducing that intimacy zone to literally zero.

    2. People are happy around you

    Does that include laughing while pointing at me?

    3. People find opportunities to bond with you through touch.

    See #1.

    4. People get lost in your eyes.

    I guess so? I mean, they've been described as "lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes,"  so I guess they've been paying attention.

    5. People tell you you have a 'good vibe'

    Indeed they have! They often tell me Hitachi makes the best, so I made a good choice in that

    6. You're genuinely interested in other people

    DAMNIT. So close.

    Ah well, my score is 5/6 anyway...


    You are a shark, right?
  • 10)  It puts the lotion in the basket.
  • Badmoodman: What's the intimacy zone? 8 inches from you.


    8 inches? Oh, until they feel a barrier?

    [Fark user image 500x375] [View Full Size image _x_]


    I call that "my curb feeler"
  • I've always gotten "you've got a scary, intense sense about you."  I'm always surprised by that comment, because I'm actually just a quiet, nice guy.  So in response to this 0 out of 6 starts, would not approach again.
  • 1. People breach your intimacy zone =
    People creep on you and invade your personal space to an uncomfortable level.

    2. People are happy around you ... and don't care if you're happy so long as you're entertaining them.

    3. People find opportunities to bond with you through touch.
    People touch you even if you don't like it. Some will find ways to almost touch you inappropriately, but with just enough plausible deniability that your argument is invalid.

    4. People get lost in your eyes.
    Unless you wear glasses.

    5. People tell you you have a 'good vibe' - I know how to behave in social situations. Give me a trophy, then. Don't reward me by farking touching me.

    6. You're genuinely interested in other people. Often true. They are rarely genuinely interested in you.


    I'm not a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. I'm a Depressed Goblin Nightmare Person.
  • Women laugh a little longer and a little harder at jokes that I know aren't that funny, and pay close attention to anecdotes I know aren't that interesting.
    I can choose to stand next to anyone on the bus, with little distance between us, and 99% of people won't react negatively, if at all.
    Sometimes, women message me first on Tinder.
    Gay dudes' gazes linger a lot longer--a lot of men are unabashedly terrible when it comes to gawking/staring.

    I'm not 'model' handsome, but I don't look like a gargoyle. I was a late bloomer, and it still takes getting used to in my mid-30s. "Pretty privilege" is a real thing, and I'm ambivalent--the cynic in me never knows who to trust.
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