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  • lazy totalfarkers and the modminzz that enable them!!!111!!!

    film at eleven...
  • I have to admit, I probably would have read Mony Dick a lot earlier than I did if the plot was just 400 pages of Ismael trying to give some woman a Navajo spackle job.
  • Melville writing about voluptuous women like

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  • So, Melville wrote Moby Dick, but the publishers wanted Ahab's Erection?
  • No mention of John Kennedy Toole? Author is clearly a dunce. As the legend goes, Toole's grieving mother had to lock herself in a publisher's office just to get someone to read the first chapter.

    /fantastically funny book
  • Okay, that Wrath of Khan allegory just spun out and went off the charts.
  • [control+F, navigate to Replace tab. Find what: whale, Replace with: young voluptuous maidens]
  • Eddie Hazel's E string: No mention of John Kennedy Toole? Author is clearly a dunce. As the legend goes, Toole's grieving mother had to lock herself in a publisher's office just to get someone to read the first chapter.

    /fantastically funny book


    The foreward by the publisher is hysterical in it's own right.  Something along the lines of "I was reading it just to find a reason to stop reading it on the grounds that it was bad... and I found I couldn't stop."

    /Tis rare to find a publisher of such philosophy and geometry who is also familiar with the works of Boethius
  • Slappy Longballs: [control+F, navigate to Replace tab. Find what: whale, Replace with: young voluptuous maidens]


    Brings new meaning to "A hump like a snow-hill"
  • maybeyoushould: I have to admit, I probably would have read Mony Dick a lot earlier than I did if the plot was just 400 pages of Ismael trying to give some woman a Navajo spackle job.


    That would give a whole new onomatopoeiac meaning to the name "Queequeg."
  • I read Moby Dick again (high school book project, figured it might have more 'meaning' to me at my age vs when i was 17.

    it still basically sucks.  it is, say, 300 pages, but if yuo take out the 30 page chapters about how Indian hemp rope is superior to carolina tarred rope, and how maine pine is superior to connecticut pine, and 20 pages on how Queequeeg sharpens his harpoon, and so on, it could be a 150 page fairly compelling story.  it just digresses the fark so much.
  • As a textbook on the history of 19th century whaling, it's probably worth reading. Skip over the chapters where he tells you the life history of a character, only to have him killed off at the end of the chapter. Skip over the first 50 pages, where they're not even on the f**kin' boat yet.
  • rickythepenguin: I read Moby Dick again (high school book project, figured it might have more 'meaning' to me at my age vs when i was 17.

    it still basically sucks.  it is, say, 300 pages, but if yuo take out the 30 page chapters about how Indian hemp rope is superior to carolina tarred rope, and how maine pine is superior to connecticut pine, and 20 pages on how Queequeeg sharpens his harpoon, and so on, it could be a 150 page fairly compelling story.  it just digresses the fark so much.


    This reminds me of reading David Foster Wallace's literary criticism of John Updike, specifically his complaint that the latter's prose could often be long-winded and pretentious. I mean, Wallace wasn't exactly wrong but, coming from him, that jab didn't pack as much of a punch as it probably would have by someone else.

    Then again, it's true what they say about how, in literature and love, one is often astounded by the taste of others. Then again, there's no accounting for personal preferences either.

    \ must admit that I've never read Moby Dick because Billy Budd was more than enough for me in college.
  • Philimus: \ must admit that I've never read Moby Dick because Billy Budd was more than enough for me in college.


    i should clarify, i re-read Moby Dick about a year ago, 30+ years on after sophomore/junior high school me first read it.  i dimly remember my professor, really cool guy, heard he passed away recently, liked my paper and suggested Billy Budd to me, i jus tnever bothered.  I'm not a big fiction guy, basically.

    and yeah, the story was compelling, and the end really picks up when the book becomes about the chase.  bit the first 200ish pages, as I said, there are these long excursions that have virtually zero to do with the hunt, or the motivations of Ahab, Ishmael, Starbuck, Queequeg, etc.  as someone noted above, it is a good snapshot of the whailing industry at the time but......it just meanders a lot until the chase is one.

    and i take back, "basically sucks".  it's good.  just what i said above.  tighten that shiat up, Herman.  Bust out the red pen, trim that biatch down.
  • Mrs Moberley Luger of Peacock & Peacock (surely a parody of a publisher if ever there was one) sent Hemingway an intensely personal missive on the shortcomings of The Sun Also Rises: "I may be frank, Mr Hemingway - you certainly are in your prose - I found your efforts to be both tedious and offensive. You really are a man's man, aren't you? I wouldn't be surprised to hear that you had penned this entire story locked up at the club, ink in one hand, brandy in the other." She went on to berate his writing style with "I daresay my young son could do better!" and of the novel's hero she unleashed this zinger, "I doubt he'd have the energy to turn the page to find out what happened to himself".

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  • Editor's notes.
    Moby-Dick.

    Instead of first-person narrative, let's change it up.  You're omniscient, Herman, go that way.  And f&ck the whale business, he's chasing tail, young, voluptuous maidens.  With the addition of a comma, you can even keep that great opening line:

    "Call me, Ishmael," the young voluptuous maiden whispered, breathlessly, "on a device which will be invented 25 years from now.  Maybe then we can hook up."
  • Slappy Longballs: [control+F, navigate to Replace tab. Find what: whale, Replace with: young voluptuous maidens]


    That's how one winds up reading about Ahab jamming his throbbing, turgid harpoon into a "wahle".
  • As someone who struggles with depravity towards voluptuous maidens myself, this is relevant, etc.

    And some passages could be left pretty much untouched: "Squeeze! squeeze! squeeze! all the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me; and I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-laborers' hands in it, mistaking their hands for the gentle globules. Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, loving feeling did this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into their eyes sentimentally; as much as to say,- Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill-humor or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness."
  • I liked Moby Dick once the story got going.  Has a lot more humor than you would expect and is remarkably progressive.
  • It's like the internet today. Every medium veers toward porn.
  • That criticism was suggesting Moby Dick be written as science fiction. In some future world, virgins are almost nonexistent. Ahab met a virgin and made his move, but she mocked him and humiliated him in front of everyone. Then she stole his wallet and ran away. The rest of the story gives lots of detail on Ahab's pick up artist techniques, as he searches for her along with his PUA buddies.
  • Slappy Longballs: [control+F, navigate to Replace tab. Find what: whale, Replace with: young voluptuous maidens]


    Someone needs to show you Ctrl+h. It will change your life.
  • OkieDookie: So, Melville wrote Moby Dick, but the publishers wanted Ahab's Erection?


    I just skimmed the article, but it sounds more like they wanted Herman Melville's Lolita
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