Real News. Real Funny.

Comments

  • I eat turkey all year long. Thanksgiving is the one day I don't eat turkey. Because I'm cutting edge and live outside the rules of society.
  • On Friday, the group announced it would be offering free tombstones emblazoned with the words: "Here Lies the Corpse of a Tortured Bird"

    I'm thinking that slogan would look great on my big stock pot.
  • Keep farking that turkey, Peta.
  • Marcus Aurelius: On Friday, the group announced it would be offering free tombstones emblazoned with the words: "Here Lies the Corpse of a Tortured Bird"

    I'm thinking that slogan would look great on my big stock pot.


    I'm thinking of getting one to keep around and changing my name to "A.Tortured Bird", just to save my loved ones expenses at my demise.
  • Yes, usually it's a matter of a year from the time they attacked it last year.
  • I was confused by drunkeness last night, and in this state I suddenly decided that "folderol" was the perfect word. I think in the sober light of day that this is not a universal principle, and that I was just goofy and infatuated by brain impairment - but it came to me that "folderol" is merely the word of the day not of all time.

    And as we can see this has served me well today, because this is horseshiat and I'm going to eat a turkey raw to pay my respects to the People Eating Turkeylike Animals.
  • PETA would rather kill your dog, than let it live with you.
  • On the one hand, they're right. If people saw what commercial turkey farms looked like; they might not want to eat any.

    On the other hand, who the fark do they think they are trying to tell other people what to do or what not to do. I'm willing to bet women members of PETA don't want any political body telling them they can't have an abortion.

    I won't eat meat, including turkey, but it's not my place to dictate to anyone else.

    So enjoy your holiday everybody.
  • Fruits and vegetables feel pain, too.

    PETA spokesmodels are hot.

    I got nothin.
  • Subtard: Does "matter of time" mean every single year that PETA has been around?
  • henryhill: Subtard: Does "matter of time" mean every single year that PETA has been around?


    Was just about to say the same thing
  • "Kids love animals, and once they realize that turkeys feel pain and fear just as dogs and cats do, they want to switch out those drumsticks for Tofurky,"


    I can introduce them to kids who like things to feel pain and are sadistic little creepy things so that rationale is all shot to hell.
  • People are generally at the top of the food chain.... everything else is a meal. Fu(k PETA.
  • If I'd never met anyone associated with PETA, I would just naturally assume they were a sham organization put up by agricultural corporations. They do more harm to the animal rights movement than anyone else by marginalizing it with terrible rhetoric and extremist positions.

    Agricultural animals are routinely, systematically, and unnecessarily mistreated because corporations exist to maximize profits, The End. That's what corporations are supposed to do. Society is supposed to regulate corporate behavior. That's what society is supposed to do. PETA makes animal rights activists more objectionable to the public, on average, than agricultural corporations are. They are the high scorer for the wrong side.

    There's no overwhelming reason why turkeys couldn't be treated better and yet still eaten. But PETA is helping make sure that improvements don't happen.
  • susler: On the one hand, they're right. If people saw what commercial turkey farms looked like; they might not want to eat any.


    I saw an episode of Dirty Jobs a while ago that had MIke Rowe visit a turkey farm. One of his duties was to artificially inseminate some turkeys, and when he asked why they didn't just let the turkeys do it themselves he was told that the turkeys had been selectively bred and engineered to a point where it was no longer physically possible for them to breed together in the natural way. Simply put, they were too fat to reach each other.

    Now I like meat, and I understand that selective breeding offers many positive aspects, and I know that modern farming can be tough in that you want to treat your livestock well but also need to make certain concessions to be profitable. That being said, when I hear a story like those turkeys I can't help but think maybe it's time to dial it back a little bit.
  • hovsm: "Kids love animals, and once they realize that turkeys feel pain and fear just as dogs and cats do, they want to switch out those drumsticks for Tofurky,"


    I can introduce them to kids who like things to feel pain and are sadistic little creepy things so that rationale is all shot to hell.


    Add to this, anyone who has read Fox Trot will tell you tofurky sucks...
  • susler: On the other hand, who the fark do they think they are trying to tell other people what to do or what not to do. I'm willing to bet women members of PETA don't want any political body telling them they can't have an abortion.


    They should join PETF, People for the Ethical Treatment of Fetuses.
    /Feti?
  • I think it would be fun to get one of these tombstones and take a picture of it stuck to the bird with me taking a large bite into the drumstick. Then send it to PETA.

    I may just do that.
  • I'd be happy to forgo eating a turkey on thanksgiving if PETA would send me an uptight proselytizing vegan I can eat instead.
  • susler: On the one hand, they're right. If people saw what commercial turkey farms looked like; they might not want to eat any.

    On the other hand, who the fark do they think they are trying to tell other people what to do or what not to do. I'm willing to bet women members of PETA don't want any political body telling them they can't have an abortion.


    After reading about this when I was in high school -- like 15 years ago -- I insisted that my family purchase our turkey from a local Mennonite butcher that doesn't pump the turkeys full of hormones and crap to inflate the size of their breasts and that the turkey's are kept in a true free range environment.

    The turkeys are a lot smaller than what is sold in supermarkets, but we feel it's a worthy ethical tradeoff.
  • I'm a Person, and I'm for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. So I wish PETA would stop being such colossal douchebags.
  • FTFA: "Kids love animals, and once they realize that turkeys feel pain and fear just as dogs and cats do, they want to switch out those drumsticks for Tofurky"

    Kids also love plants, and plants have been shown to react to harsh stimuli in a manner that could be construed as feeling pain. So go ahead and murder that soy plant to fuel your hate machine, PETA. Me? I'll be eating turkey and ham and anything else that finds itself fit enough for my table this Thanksgiving.

    Does anyone else think that maybe PETA is just a secret wing of the shadowy soy lobby?
  • If you really want to do some good for turkeys, buy one for Thanksgiving and release it into the wild instead of eating it. Remember to thaw it first.
  • "Les? Les? Les, are you there? Les isn't there.

    Thanks for that on-the-spot report, Les. For those of you who've just tuned in, the PETA headquarters has just been BOMBED with live turkeys. Film at eleven. "


    img.youtube.comView Full Size

  • Load 25 of 52 newer comments

This thread is closed to new comments.