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  • I once removed a large mole near my belly button by freezing it off with an Air Duster can turned upside down.

    /CSS
  • I just got back from the dentist where I got a cleaning and a crown fixed. Thank goodness I have good dental insurance. Dental work isn't cheap.

    I guess I could have waited and gone the old "whiskey and pliers" route.
  • I've removed skin tags from my armpits. While drunk, no less. Intentionally.

    I sterilized a pair of scissors with alcohol, snipped, immediately put a paper towel with peroxide on it and held for about 5mins. Those suckers bleed a lot at first. Hurts like a biatch for about a day or two, then it's over.

    I went to the doc to have him do the rest, he pretty much did the same thing I did and billed my insurance company $300. Hurt just as much too.
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    "Hey guys, what's goin on in this thread?"
  • vernonFL: I just got back from the dentist where I got a cleaning and a crown fixed. Thank goodness I have good dental insurance. Dental work isn't cheap.

    I guess I could have waited and gone the old "whiskey and pliers" route.


    Or get it over with quick, using a firecracker.
  • First thing I thought of was the Prometheus automated operating table.

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  • I once cut pea size ball of waxy puss out of my arm with an X-acto knife that I sterilized in vodak. I got only a tiny scar out of it which disappoints me. I wanted a cool, jagged scar.
  • Bad teeth? Just pull'em. Got a pliers or a C-clamp? Screwdriver? Hell, a needle-nose pliers will do it nicely.
  • I worked with a Russian ex-pat who defected in the late 80's, and had served in Afghanistan. He claims there was a guy in his unit who removed his own appendix with a pocket knife and vodka because the company doctor had such a poor record losing patients for even routine things.

    He also claims they used to drink cheap Romanian aftershave when the vodka ran out by filtering it through a loaf of french bread, I.E. chop off an end like a cigar, pour the aftershave in and let it drain down to the bottom.

    /CSB
  • Rapmaster2000: I once cut pea size ball of waxy puss out of my arm with an X-acto knife that I sterilized in vodak. I got only a tiny scar out of it which disappoints me. I wanted a cool, jagged scar.


    I did the same, only it was my foot and closer to the size of a golf ball. (I had stepped on a sharp rock that ended up in my foot.)

    I don't plan on doing that again. It was quite a mess.
  • zarberg: I worked with a Russian ex-pat who defected in the late 80's, and had served in Afghanistan. He claims there was a guy in his unit who removed his own appendix with a pocket knife and vodka because the company doctor had such a poor record losing patients for even routine things.

    He also claims they used to drink cheap Romanian aftershave when the vodka ran out by filtering it through a loaf of french bread, I.E. chop off an end like a cigar, pour the aftershave in and let it drain down to the bottom.

    /CSB


    Was this guy Si Robertson?
  • Spray some Windex on it.
  • Usually you can survive minor surgery on yourself, assuming you don't go too deep and sever an artery.

    What kills you is the gangrene and sepsis afterward because the knife was contaminated or you didn't suture the wound properly and you got dirt into the bloodstream. Or because you sterilized your KNIFE but forgot you also need to sterilize the suture material and nothing introduces bacteria into an incision like dirty sutures.

    And of course anything where you open up your abdominal cavity will kill you, either from severing an artery or more likely post-operative infection or shock. But don't let that stop you.
  • This bootstrap strawman meme is kinda stupid.
  • "See this?...

    Mary Ellen Moffat.

    She broke my heart..."
  • Qwertyette: I once removed a large mole near my belly button by freezing it off with an Air Duster can turned upside down.

    /CSS


    How did that turn out? pics?
  • make me some tea: I've removed skin tags from my armpits. While drunk, no less. Intentionally.

    I sterilized a pair of scissors with alcohol, snipped, immediately put a paper towel with peroxide on it and held for about 5mins. Those suckers bleed a lot at first. Hurts like a biatch for about a day or two, then it's over.

    I went to the doc to have him do the rest, he pretty much did the same thing I did and billed my insurance company $300. Hurt just as much too.


    I went to a derm with a pilar cyst and said, "Oh, by the way..." He did pretty much what you did (different disinfectant) and did not charge me. Always go to the derm with multiple things. They'll bill insurance for the justifiable thing and take care of the little things if they just involve a scissor or the frosty-freezy treatment.
  • Once I..I..I was going to make up some clever story but truth be told I've never done any medical procedure to myself more badass than popping a zip.

    /runs from thread in shame
  • Eight people who survived self-medical care. And how many, oh great journalist, didn't survive?
  • Rufus Lee King: Recovering from a heart attack, here. Less than a month ago: no insurance. Bills stacking up already. It was either get carted off in an ambulance or die.

    Anyone gonna help me?

    Nope; I'm the wrong color.


    What about age? Do you qualify for Medicare?
  • I don't know how much pain you have to be in to stab yourself in the perineum(taint) and I don't want to know.
  • biatch, please. Emergency! taught me that no matter what happens, there'll always be Paramedics on a trans-national flight from LA who carry the entirety of their Squad in the luggage compartment of the plane.

    Are you saying TV lied to me?
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