Real News. Real Funny.

Comments

  • The suspects are described as 2 white, tall, skinny males and a white female.

    The dumb shiat didn't know the names of these "acquaintances?"
  • Ah, good ole' Bradentuckey. There is a reason I moved away. Stories like this remind me of why.
  • Speaker2Animals: The suspects are described as 2 white, tall, skinny males and a white female.

    The dumb shiat didn't know the names of these "acquaintances?"


    Not allowed to print the names?

    /Seems more likely
  • I read and I wonder what it was exactly that had this fellow arrive at that moment in his life. Some are just born winners.
  • DerAppie: Not allowed to print the names?

    /Seems more likely


    Police didn't give them out because they have an idea of where they are and don't want to tip their hand?
  • KrispyKritter: I read and I wonder what it was exactly that had this fellow arrive at that moment in his life. Some are just born winners.


    I have an acquaintance who seems to get mugged/robbed/taken in a high speed chase/etc pretty often. He is way too trusting, has a drinking problem and uses a lot of drugs, and it's usually tied to getting drunk and trying to score from some dude he's met a few times in a bar and only knows the first name of.

    I'm sure there are other causes but that's the one I was assuming. Dude got drunk at a bar, tried to score some blow, and ended up getting robbed. He might know a first name or nickname for one or all of them, but that might be all he can really give the cops.
  • Oh yeah, sure, tell me that NOW! p.s. Happy Bird Day to all you Farkers! I may disagree with you from time to time (or nearly always), but today is one of those cease-fire days where I have to acknowledge that you are another human on this planet - so raise a glass on me! er...metaphorically...
  • The suspects are described as 2 white, tall, skinny males and a white female.

    White trailer trash meth heads can be crazy mofos
  • If he was naked, where did he have the money they robbed him of?

    OK, nevermind.
  • davidphogan: KrispyKritter: I read and I wonder what it was exactly that had this fellow arrive at that moment in his life. Some are just born winners.

    I have an acquaintance who seems to get mugged/robbed/taken in a high speed chase/etc pretty often. He is way too trusting, has a drinking problem and uses a lot of drugs, and it's usually tied to getting drunk and trying to score from some dude he's met a few times in a bar and only knows the first name of.

    I'm sure there are other causes but that's the one I was assuming. Dude got drunk at a bar, tried to score some blow, and ended up getting robbed. He might know a first name or nickname for one or all of them, but that might be all he can really give the cops.


    I had aquaintances like this when I was 18 but none of them would touch me because Marian was sweet on me. NOBODY crossed Marian.

    /I grew out of that life style in my early 20s. This guy hasn't learned by the time he's 43 so there is not much hope for him.
  • kertus: Bankers?


    Lawyers, just horse playing around.
  • Las drogas es muy malo.
  • How come when the suspects are white, they're described as "white"?
  • Sounds like my first spring break to Daytona

    /good times
  • KrispyKritter: I read and I wonder what it was exactly that had this fellow arrive at that moment in his life. Some are just born winners.


    White Republicans = -0-% Responsible
    Personal Decisions = 100% Responsible

    That's CRAZY talk.
  • Morales gave them all his clothes and his money, and then they pull over in the 5000 block of 26th street west. The males then beat up Morales and kick him out of the car completely naked.

    /Ok...am i the only one that seems to see the horrible grammatical errors in these sentences?
  • WhippingBoy: How come when the suspects are white, they're described as "white"?


    I was thinking the same thing. The answer is: because the stats would embarrass certain groups so it's better to endanger the public the hurt someone's feelings.
  • Bit'O'Gristle: Morales gave them all his clothes and his money, and then they pull over in the 5000 block of 26th street west. The males then beat up Morales and kick him out of the car completely naked.

    /Ok...am i the only one that seems to see the horrible grammatical errors in these sentences?


    Hey, the intern did his best to clean it up. Original copy as turned in:

    "Morales, like, gave them all his clothes and like, his money, and they like pull over in the 5000 block of like 26th street west, you know? The males then like beat up Morales and like kick him out of the car like completely naked, you know?"
  • DerAppie: Speaker2Animals: The suspects are described as 2 white, tall, skinny males and a white female.

    The dumb shiat didn't know the names of these "acquaintances?"

    Not allowed to print the names?

    /Seems more likely


    First Amendment says government cannot say "not allowed to print" to the news media. And back when I was in the business, I'd never write something as pointless as those descriptions.
  • You may want to reconsider your acquaintances if they pull a knife on you, rob you, and kick you out of the car naked

    Or as I like to call it, Fraternity Initiation.
  • You may want to reconsider your acquaintances if they pull a knife on you, rob you, and kick you out of the car naked

    Could be the start of a memorable evening.

    /hate the Eagles
  •  

This thread is closed to new comments.