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  • I deleted email a few minutes ago because it had Cyber Monday in the subject line.
  • But shopping on-line does not provide you with that Honey Booboo-style experience of poorly dressed, overweight, rude people hopped up on Cinnabon and excessive consumerism.
  • I got all my Christmas shopping done in June. Hooray for Amazon.com
  • Oblig:

    "A/S/L?? Wanna CYBER?!?!"
  • I'm way too cool to shop for things.
  • Godscrack: [dawncompk.files.wordpress.com image 543x356]


    War on Christmas! I found it! Told ya so!
  • My family and my wife's family are Jehovah Witnesses, so we'd don't have to buy them shiat. I love getting my kids and their kids together after Christmas. My kids are playing with whatever awesome toys they got while Door Knocker Jr and his bike riding sister are acting out scenes from the bible with bags of sand. Say what you will about organized religion, but Jehovah Witnesses have to be the biggest losers of them all. No wonder they have to seduce Guatemalans and Fillipinos directly off the plane. No one with two nickles to rub together or a lick of sense would sign up for a religion that doesn't let you have cake and presents on your birthday. Do you really think christ gives a fark if you blow out a candle and open up a few gifts? If that's seriously a concern for your religion, then your belief system has the depth of a baby pool. I hope they all end up in hell with the farking Amish.
  • spentmiles: My family and my wife's family are Jehovah Witnesses, so we'd don't have to buy them shiat. I love getting my kids and their kids together after Christmas. My kids are playing with whatever awesome toys they got while Door Knocker Jr and his bike riding sister are acting out scenes from the bible with bags of sand. Say what you will about organized religion, but Jehovah Witnesses have to be the biggest losers of them all. No wonder they have to seduce Guatemalans and Fillipinos directly off the plane. No one with two nickles to rub together or a lick of sense would sign up for a religion that doesn't let you have cake and presents on your birthday. Do you really think christ gives a fark if you blow out a candle and open up a few gifts? If that's seriously a concern for your religion, then your belief system has the depth of a baby pool. I hope they all end up in hell with the farking Amish.


    You magnificent bastard...

    /Didn't black Friday, ain't cyber Mondaying either
  • I didn't Black Friday or Cyber Monday, but will Masturbate Tuesday though; maybe Wednesday too if my elbow doesn't hurt.
  • spentmiles: My family and my wife's family are Jehovah Witnesses, so we'd don't have to buy them shiat. I love getting my kids and their kids together after Christmas. My kids are playing with whatever awesome toys they got while Door Knocker Jr and his bike riding sister are acting out scenes from the bible with bags of sand. Say what you will about organized religion, but Jehovah Witnesses have to be the biggest losers of them all. No wonder they have to seduce Guatemalans and Fillipinos directly off the plane. No one with two nickles to rub together or a lick of sense would sign up for a religion that doesn't let you have cake and presents on your birthday. Do you really think christ gives a fark if you blow out a candle and open up a few gifts? If that's seriously a concern for your religion, then your belief system has the depth of a baby pool. I hope they all end up in hell with the farking Amish.


    Heh. Pretty good. I'm as atheisty as the next farker but I agree with the JW on this one thing. Fark holidays.
  • I just bought some stuff from a Swiss website, being shipped via China post air mail, which guarantees delivery within 5-60 business days, so I'm getting a kick...

    /the signature includes the optimistic, "Hope you will get it soon!"
  • What's wrong with 'Black Monday'?
  • Godscrack: What's wrong with 'Black Monday'?


    They all look the same and are lazy.
  • Godscrack: What's wrong with 'Black Monday'?


    That's racist!
  • Oh Amazon, you filthy whore. I just checked and some book I've been wanting forever is now marked wayyyy down. But no Prime... must.spend.$25.
  • Just bought a huge barrel of Cialis for, like, 15% off from my internet pharmacy, and two liters of fire sale Buffalo Trace with free shipping from my internet liquor store. Guess who's getting more than 4 hours of continuous erection for Christmas? ANYBODY WHO WANTS IT, THAT'S WHO.
  • Seems like the best time to buy christmas gifts, they're sure to be delivered in time and I don't have to get off my ass.
  • spentmiles Smartest
    Funniest
    2012-11-26 09:19:25 AM


    My family and my wife's family are Jehovah Witnesses, so we'd don't have to buy them shiat. I love getting my kids and their kids together after Christmas. My kids are playing with whatever awesome toys they got while Door Knocker Jr and his bike riding sister are acting out scenes from the bible with bags of sand. Say what you will about organized religion, but Jehovah Witnesses have to be the biggest losers of them all. No wonder they have to seduce Guatemalans and Fillipinos directly off the plane. No one with two nickles to rub together or a lick of sense would sign up for a religion that doesn't let you have cake and presents on your birthday. Do you really think christ gives a fark if you blow out a candle and open up a few gifts? If that's seriously a concern for your religion, then your belief system has the depth of a baby pool. I hope they all end up in hell with the farking Amish.


    Best regular poster on Fark, hands down.

    Keep 'em coming, man.
  • My family now does all non-food, and non-clothing shopping online. If you don't eat it, and you don't have to try it on, there is no reason to step foot in a store these days.

    On black Friday we got hair cuts, took the kids to a park, and had a nice relaxing day off with the family.

    /yes I'm better than you
  • If you do your research, though, and log on early, you can secure the bargains you want

    Someone translate that for me please.

    Amazon does not give a shiat if you are logged on from midnight, the deal for the PS3 at 3pm is still sold out in seconds with virtually no chance of me getting it.
  • Unlike Black Friday though, I don't get arrested for shopping naked on Cyber Monday.
  • spentmiles: My family and my wife's family are Jehovah Witnesses, so we'd don't have to buy them shiat. I love getting my kids and their kids together after Christmas. My kids are playing with whatever awesome toys they got while Door Knocker Jr and his bike riding sister are acting out scenes from the bible with bags of sand. Say what you will about organized religion, but Jehovah Witnesses have to be the biggest losers of them all. No wonder they have to seduce Guatemalans and Fillipinos directly off the plane. No one with two nickles to rub together or a lick of sense would sign up for a religion that doesn't let you have cake and presents on your birthday. Do you really think christ gives a fark if you blow out a candle and open up a few gifts? If that's seriously a concern for your religion, then your belief system has the depth of a baby pool. I hope they all end up in hell with the farking Amish.


    Your combination of lying and being snarky is one of the reasons you are one of my favorites. I thoroughly enjoy it every time one of your posts flies over someones head, and they get all worked up. Keep em coming man!
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