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  • Worst game of clue ever!
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  • The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.

    Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner. A deputy deployed a Taser and then handcuffed him.


    Taser > firehose
  • Fortunately for the firefighter, helmet > shovel.
  • Charlotte County Sheriff's deputies arrested a Port Charlotte man last Friday after he hit a fire lieutenant in the helmet while trying to put out a fire behind the man's home.

    Would someone please diagram that sentence for me?
  • I'm pretty sure it means I get to kill anyone anywhere so long as they are brown-ish and or wear suspicious clothes.
  • dahmers love zombie: Charlotte County Sheriff's deputies arrested a Port Charlotte man last Friday after he hit a fire lieutenant in the helmet while trying to put out a fire behind the man's home.

    Would someone please diagram that sentence for me?


    Sure.

    English language <-------------------------------------​-------------------------------- ---------------------> That sentence.
  • The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.
    Sounds to me like the Lieutenant was the one who "stood his ground"
  • Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner.

    The guy obviously had a few screws loose, but "walking in an aggressive manner"? They couldn't come up with anything better than that?
  • CruiserTwelve: The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.

    Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner. A deputy deployed a Taser and then handcuffed him.

    Taser > firehose


    Depends on the size of the hose.
  • Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.
    Sounds to me like the Lieutenant was the one who "stood his ground"



    "I will prevent you from hitting me in the head with that shovel by spraying you with this hose!"

    :gets hit on head with shovel:

    D'oh!
  • FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

    /laughing too hard to conjure an appropriate joke
  • OK, that gets the prize for Worstly Grammaticized Article Written in Past Tense Presently I've Seen This Year.

    The Sheriff's Department wins First Runner up for Most Weirdly Specific Charge On Record for this:

    Charged with Aggravated Battery on a Firefighter with a Deadly Weapon (Shovel), and Preventing or Obstructing Extinguishment of a Fire was 44-year-old Gregory Sean Turner.
  • GreyWolf007: FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

    /laughing too hard to conjure an appropriate joke


    That was my favorite part as well.
  • FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

    I wonder if he's one of those "sovereign citizens" who believes he doesn't need a permit to start a fire to destroy items that are different than wood.
  • Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

    It was always burning since the world's been turning?
  • "Call dispatch and tell them I said .......OOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!"

    "Call dispatch, tell them you said, "Ow". Got it."
  • DarkSoulNoHope: FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

    I wonder if he's one of those "sovereign citizens" who believes he doesn't need a permit to start a fire to destroy items that are different than wood.


    I'm going to guess from his deer in the headlights mugshot that some form of pharmaceuticals was involved.
  • Gyrfalcon: OK, that gets the prize for Worstly Grammaticized Article Written in Past Tense Presently I've Seen This Year.

    The Sheriff's Department wins First Runner up for Most Weirdly Specific Charge On Record for this:

    Charged with Aggravated Battery on a Firefighter with a Deadly Weapon (Shovel), and Preventing or Obstructing Extinguishment of a Fire was 44-year-old Gregory Sean Turner.


    I think pretty much anything is a crime, so long as a cop phrases it that way.

    "John Doe, 52, was arrested and charged with Preventing or Obstructing the Parking of a Minivan with Deadly Force." Or " Chantilla Watson, of Newport, was charged with Obstructing the Placement of a Beverage Within a Cupholder in an Aggressive Manner."
  • LoneVVolf: Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner.

    The guy obviously had a few screws loose, but "walking in an aggressive manner"? They couldn't come up with anything better than that?


    "he was walking like a professional wrestler, specifically a bushwacker"
  • Maybe he was just mad the firefighter wouldn't autograph his calendar.
  • Smackledorfer: LoneVVolf: Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner.

    The guy obviously had a few screws loose, but "walking in an aggressive manner"? They couldn't come up with anything better than that?

    "he was walking like a professional wrestler, specifically a bushwacker"


    "Me? I'm just a lawnmower. You can tell me by the way I walk."
  • Shenanigans!: CruiserTwelve: The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.

    Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner. A deputy deployed a Taser and then handcuffed him.

    Taser > firehose

    Depends on the size of the hose.


    that's what she said!
  • I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Smackledorfer: LoneVVolf: Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner.

    The guy obviously had a few screws loose, but "walking in an aggressive manner"? They couldn't come up with anything better than that?

    "he was walking like a professional wrestler, specifically a bushwacker"

    "Me? I'm just a lawnmower. You can tell me by the way I walk."


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    I believe that was a reference to these guys.
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