Real News. Real Funny.

Comments

  • Is there any way to make the "fail" tag 800 pixels tall?

    This is one for the ages.
  • Instead, police arrested the courier on suspicion of money laundering and racketeering, and searched his suitcase and personal property. They found $17,000 in hundred dollar bills in the pockets of a pair of blue jeans packed in the suit case, and another $3,020 in hundreds in his wallet.

    I'm starting to think that some people just can't be trusted.
  • Signed, Epstein's Probation Officer
  • Probably saved his life. Given a choice between being arrested for being stupid and racketeering and money laundering, and telling the cartel you "lost" $20K and having your head chopped off with a rusty machete, I'd prefer to do the time in a nice, comfy prison someplace.
  • Gyrfalcon: Probably saved his life. Given a choice between being arrested for being stupid and racketeering and money laundering, and telling the cartel you "lost" $20K and having your head chopped off with a rusty machete, I'd prefer to do the time in a nice, comfy prison someplace.


    They found 17k on him. He didn't lose shiat, he was trying to steal from the cartel. He was trying to play both sides. Trying being the key word here. This must be one of the most EPIC fails of all time.
  • Man usually I have some sympathy for even the dumb criminals, cause every story has another angle. But this guy... I'm speechless. You try to f the cartel, then you try to f the police? Whatever sentence he gets, he's getting a good deal.
  • Actually, now that I think about it, this guy is so royally farked. I mean, now he really HAS lost the 20k for the cartel. And the cartel now knows all the details about how he was trying to steal from them.

    And this fella can't even run to Saskatchewan and try to start a new life as a potash miner, cause he's gonna be a sitting duck in prison. He's probably so low in the distribution chain, he doesn't even have any information that will allow him to cut a deal and go into witness protection.

    www.gnorb.netView Full Size
  • They found $17,000 in hundred dollar bills in the pockets of a pair of blue jeans packed in the suit case, and another $3,020 in hundreds in his wallet.

    How is it possible to have $3,020 is hundreds?
  • Happy Hours: They found $17,000 in hundred dollar bills in the pockets of a pair of blue jeans packed in the suit case, and another $3,020 in hundreds in his wallet.

    How is it possible to have $3,020 is hundreds?


    Cop-Math.
  • Happy Hours: They found $17,000 in hundred dollar bills in the pockets of a pair of blue jeans packed in the suit case, and another $3,020 in hundreds in his wallet.

    How is it possible to have $3,020 is hundreds?


    A hundred twenties? Twenty hundreds? A bag of dimes?
  • keytronic: Actually, now that I think about it, this guy is so royally farked. I mean, now he really HAS lost the 20k for the cartel. And the cartel now knows all the details about how he was trying to steal from them.

    And this fella can't even run to Saskatchewan and try to start a new life as a potash miner, cause he's gonna be a sitting duck in prison. He's probably so low in the distribution chain, he doesn't even have any information that will allow him to cut a deal and go into witness protection.

    [www.gnorb.net image 367x238]


    its a fish utta water story but these fish are sharks!
    http://www.9story.com/Shows/FuggetAbo utIt
  • Gyrfalcon: Probably saved his life. Given a choice between being arrested for being stupid and racketeering and money laundering, and telling the cartel you "lost" $20K and having your head chopped off with a rusty machete, I'd prefer to do the time in a nice, comfy prison someplace.


    The thing is the cops didn't seize the money. So I have no idea how he thought he could get them to write a "receipt" saying that they had. And he didn't lose the money. He stole 20k (which they found on him) then tried to recruit the cops to create an alibi. It doesn't even make "crackhead" sense. Did he think they wouldn't notice he was 20k light and this was the best plan he could come up with on short notice? If you're going to steal drug money when you're acting as a courier, you'd better just take the whole pile and disappear off the face of the earth. Doesn't matter if you take 20, 20k, 200k, or more. You broke the trust.

    And the idea that he'd be safer in prison is naive. "Hey, Fred. Demarco's on your cell block." "Okay, boss. Say hi to the kids for me." "You got it. And we'll take care of your wife's back rent." A few days later, Demarco has ceased to be. He'd be much safer out in the wild where he at least has a chance to run.
  • kvinesknows: keytronic: Actually, now that I think about it, this guy is so royally farked. I mean, now he really HAS lost the 20k for the cartel. And the cartel now knows all the details about how he was trying to steal from them.

    And this fella can't even run to Saskatchewan and try to start a new life as a potash miner, cause he's gonna be a sitting duck in prison. He's probably so low in the distribution chain, he doesn't even have any information that will allow him to cut a deal and go into witness protection.

    [www.gnorb.net image 367x238]

    its a fish utta water story but these fish are sharks!
    http://www.9story.com/Shows/FuggetAbo utIt


    My God, I didn't even know this existed. But hey, if you wanna hide from a drug Cartel based in the Southwest, Saskatchewan would do it (Newfoundland would be better though).
  • jtown: has a chance to run.


    This incident was his idea of running. Who knows what prompted it (besides greed,) seems like he would have completed the handoff but instead just crammed away the money and called the police.
  • Gyrfalcon: Probably saved his life. Given a choice between being arrested for being stupid and racketeering and money laundering, and telling the cartel you "lost" $20K and having your head chopped off with a rusty machete, I'd prefer to do the time in a nice, comfy prison someplace.



    Depends on how far the Cartel's arms stretch into that prison.

    Mine only stretch less than a foot... but I'm a badass.
    i.imgur.comView Full Size
  • go on take the money and run

    woo woo woo
  • Well now. It's not going to be too hard for that cartel to find you in jail, now is it, moron?

    Anyone want to draw up a sheet of squares and gamble on time of death?

    Your fate, it's sealed.

    I sure hope you know some serious details to give to the cops so they'll cut your dumb ass a deal and put you into witness protection or at the very least change your name. If they give you a choice of new names, don't choose Mud again, for Pete's sake.
  • Bet this gut thinks the cartel won't be able to murder the sh*t out of him in prison. I give him 8 months from sentencing.
  • Feral_and_Preposterous: Well now. It's not going to be too hard for that cartel to find you in jail, now is it, moron?

    Anyone want to draw up a sheet of squares and gamble on time of death?

    Your fate, it's sealed.

    I sure hope you know some serious details to give to the cops so they'll cut your dumb ass a deal and put you into witness protection or at the very least change your name. If they give you a choice of new names, don't choose Mud again, for Pete's sake.


    Maybe he asked that the note not use his real name.
  • I just realized something fishy. Could it be he was set up by his partners who planted the "lost" money on him?


    The driver took him to a nearby hotel parking lot where the money was counted before Thomas and the drug dealers parted ways. About an hour later, Thomas received a threatening phone call from his contact in North Carolina telling him his delivery was $20,000 short.
  • Cubansaltyballs: Happy Hours: They found $17,000 in hundred dollar bills in the pockets of a pair of blue jeans packed in the suit case, and another $3,020 in hundreds in his wallet.

    How is it possible to have $3,020 is hundreds?

    Cop-Math.


    The street value is over $2 million.
  • kazikian: I just realized something fishy. Could it be he was set up by his partners who planted the "lost" money on him?


    The driver took him to a nearby hotel parking lot where the money was counted before Thomas and the drug dealers parted ways. About an hour later, Thomas received a threatening phone call from his contact in North Carolina telling him his delivery was $20,000 short.



    How could they even begin to assume that he would go to the cops and ask them for a fake letter saying that they seized it from him? That would not be a logical response to such a situation, even from a complete idiot.
  • His GF must have been napping.

    1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
  • Gyrfalcon: Probably saved his life. Given a choice between being arrested for being stupid and racketeering and money laundering, and telling the cartel you "lost" $20K and having your head chopped off with a rusty machete, I'd prefer to do the time in a nice, comfy prison someplace.


    Saved his life? If he wasn't in prison he'd at least have a chance to run. You can't run in prison. Dude's gonna catch a shank in prison.
  • Load 10 of 10 newer comments

This thread is closed to new comments.