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  • Go be fat elsewhere. No really, Private, you are fired.
  • Americans are fat. We're also the best at the military. And snack foods and Freedom.

    Somehow we manage to do all that while being fat. Maybe being fat isn't the problem. Maybe other countries just suck at stuff.
  • Our military is bloated in more ways than one...
  • Dewey Oxburger: My name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. You might have noticed that, uh, I've got a slight weight problem.

    Soldiers: Nooo! Noooo!

    Dewey Oxburger: Yeah, yeah I do. Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression... along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST, those type of things. Anyway, it cost 400 bucks! 400 bucks to join this thing? Well I didn't have the money and I thought to myself, "Join the army"! It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds. And you got what, a 6 to 8 week training program here? A real tough one. Which is perfect for me.

    [Looks around at all the soldiers and gestures emphatically]

    Dewey Oxburger: I'm going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin' Machine! Ha ha ha ha!
  • In before some precious snowflake complains that it's vicious unfair discrimination to fire soldiers for being fat.
  • the Army has instructed commanders to make few exceptions when it comes to fitness,

    Those few exceptions are the 20 year noncoms.
  • HotWingAgenda: In before some precious snowflake complains that it's vicious unfair discrimination to fire soldiers for being fat.


    eh, fat people generally dont want to be soldiers.
  • Its funny because 5 years ago. when the Army kept missing recruiting goals this was not a problem...hmmm wonder why that was?

    /served during that time..
    //fat..seriously passed on the tape test like once in six years...to be fair there was like only one tape test.
    ///they never tested for weed either.
  • Does the army just not make soldiers run around and climb stuff anymore?

    No, seriously. I thought that was what you did at first. How do you get or stay fat in the army? Do you get to go on march on a rascal scooter? Do they serve cheesecake IV's at all hours? HOW?!?
  • ModernLuddite: Does the army just not make soldiers run around and climb stuff anymore?

    No, seriously. I thought that was what you did at first. How do you get or stay fat in the army? Do you get to go on march on a rascal scooter? Do they serve cheesecake IV's at all hours? HOW?!?


    Some units do formal PT (physical training) for 2 hours, 3-5 times a week. Other units? Eh, you know what you need to do to pass the PT and weight tests, so hit the gym on your own time.

    Also much off-duty beer drinking, barracks parties, etc.

    Too fat for the Army = slender compared to most of the civilian population of fatties.
  • As a multiple time PT failure myself I get the fury these folks have over not passing. And feeling discriminated against. My fellow failures and I used to joke that it didn't matter how good you were at your job if you couldn't run. But I got off my ass and did something about it. The American taxpayers pay for, and deserve, the best fighting force they can get.
  • Why can't the respective armed forces provide a doctor assisted health regimen that if the applicant fails to achieve said regimen's goals he or she is on the hook for the costs? Some people need all there options controlled in order to break their bad habits.
  • lewismarktwo: Why can't the respective armed forces provide a doctor assisted health regimen that if the applicant fails to achieve said regimen's goals


    They do. But the onus to comply with it is on you. No one is going to follow you to chow to watch what you're eating. Or black list your address with the pizza joint. Each service has a set number of times you can fail before separation. Get back in line and they'll keep you. As long as you aren't a screw up at something else too.
  • Fat kids grow up to be fat adults, eating right, exercising plenty, and having good habits doesn't start at high school graduation, it starts at birth. We can't seriously expect to maintain a fighting force when we have a nation that gets despondent over a few month gap in twinkie production.

    You want healthy kids, instead of treating McDonald's like a price, you pass right by that place and say "eww, we don't want that nasty stuff." Don't start the pattern of associating validation with food, especially not the crappiest "food" substitutes on the planet.
  • The US Military is the most structured, controlling environment we could come up with, and if even they can't figure out how to keep people from being fat, we have a serious farking problem.

    I recently moved from a decent sized city to a very rural area, and I witnessed this first hand. People in cities walk more, ride bikes, don't pull their Suburbans into McDonalds with as much regularity, and they are generally thinner. I see plenty of fat people but overall the people were normal weight. Come out here to the boondocks, and everybody is fat. I am recently single again, and I look around at online profiles and see that nearly every chick is fat, like 8 or 9 out of 10. And not a little extra, but a LOT extra. I'm no fitness trainer myself but I keep myself lean and make sure I can still fit into my clothes at the end of the week. But holy fark. Don't even ask me about a trip to Walmart on a Saturday night....
  • This is the freaking army! Can't they assign them to a fat camp that runs them ragged and feeds them kale?
  • Macular Degenerate: if even they can't figure out how to keep people from being fat, we have a serious farking problem.


    nmemkha: This is the freaking army! Can't they assign them to a fat camp that runs them ragged and feeds them kale?



    Hint: They don't want to do anything about it.

    Under a mandate to reduce the force by tens of thousands in coming years, the Army has instructed commanders to make few exceptions when it comes to fitness
  • log_jammin: Macular Degenerate: if even they can't figure out how to keep people from being fat, we have a serious farking problem.

    nmemkha: This is the freaking army! Can't they assign them to a fat camp that runs them ragged and feeds them kale?


    Hint: They don't want to do anything about it.

    Under a mandate to reduce the force by tens of thousands in coming years, the Army has instructed commanders to make few exceptions when it comes to fitness


    Hopefully they are using their brains as well as blanket mandates. Firing your best and brightest at non-physical jobs because of physical fitness is a waste of the tax dollars invested in them.
  • My friend was in the Navy, but I find this whole thing ironic when he said he'd often see food crates being loaded onto his ship, and the boxes would say, "For prison use only" on the sides. Anyone that can say whether the Army gets the same?
  • nmemkha: Hopefully they are using their brains as well as blanket mandates.


    The key words in the sentence from the article is "make few exceptions". They're just getting rid of the people who never should have went in in the first place.
  • It's because of the chow halls and lack of garrison command. Seriously, its really hard to eat healthy at military chow halls. Add overstocked desert bars and it becomes a problem. They should only let you get a cookie or two a week and scan your CAC to make sure you aren't overstuffing your fat face.

    Also unit PT is more or less voluntary. In my unit in garrison its 3 times a week, but you only have to physically PT with the unit if you either failed your PT test or are projected to fail. It shouldn't be that relaxed. If you are getting below a 90 on your PT test, you should be required to make unit PT. Catching people as they reach the borderline is usually fruitless.
  • If the military wanted to slim the troops down the first thing they should do is kick out about 30% of the guys over the rank of E5 or O-3. These are the fat asses.
    The military always scales itself down by reducing the lower ranks, always has, always will. Thats why we got more General Officers in the Army now, than we did in the 50's and 60's when the military was significantly larger.

    These guys get a pass on the PFT (and oddly enough are the ones to administer it). My squadron in the AF had roughly an 85% pass rate for the the PFT. The folks failing it came in 3 flavors: Folks fresh from Tech School who had been half assing their PT during the 30 weeks between Basic and Operational, Women, and NCO's.
    The first group tended to get their act together ASAP. The second group tend to persist because there's a lot of ways women cant skirt around PFT requirements and women tend to get on profile easier than men. But watching some Tech Sgt who is busting out of his uniform stay in the military year after year after sweaty lard filled year is happening because of the services' institutional bias against cutting folks at the top.
  • The Navy let's you be lousy at your job for years on end,
    but goddammitsomuch if you aren't a runner.

    "Failed your advancement exam again? That's okay."

    "Failed your PT again? Sorry, that's the 3rd one in 4 years. Buh-bye."

    Dumb jock keeps his job, brilliant donut eater gets out.
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