Real News. Real Funny.
Snarfangel: If your home is constantly vandalized, just wait until the next time. "I'm sorry, officer, he was on my property, and held something in his hand in a threatening manner. I feared for my life! How was I to know he was spray-painting graffiti?" Or you could put up a surveillance camera, like a normal person.
Superjew: Let's see now: Kitsap County, machete, neighbor dispute. I'll take Meth for $500, Bob.
offmymeds: Why couldn't you do both? Have a calm, mature discussion using the machete as a talking point.
Ohlookabutterfly: Wow the definition of assault sure has taken a shiat kicking by the pc crowd, eh? I was in court once testifying in support of aquaintance' character when the opposing lawyer tried to use hearsay against me that someone I had a verbal disagreement with said I "looked like I was going to hit him", so naturally I asked the lawyer how it appears when it looks like I am going to hit someone when I am standing still with my arms at my side running my mouth. She tried to pull out the definition of assault but the judge stopped her with a reprimand for wasting my and the courts' time. If I remember correctly I also had to ask what it looks like when I "almost hit him". Is that like "almost raping someone"? Can we now be jailed for "perceived intent"?