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  • Wow. I gotta ask, what are they doing that they can promise babies in six to nine months?

    Nine months is easy. Six months is a little harder, but if you harvest them before they are ripe you can sell them as rare "miniatures" for a higher price.
  • I wonder how long it will be before the first articles start to appear alleging things like child trafficking and racial and sexual discrimination.
  • ZAZ: Wow. I gotta ask, what are they doing that they can promise babies in six to nine months?

    Nine months is easy. Six months is a little harder, but if you harvest them before they are ripe you can sell them as rare "miniatures" for a higher price.


    And if you set them on the window sill, they'll ripen naturally from the sun.
  • St_Francis_P: And if you set them on the window sill, they'll ripen naturally from the sun.

    It you set them atop the piano, they'll entertain, amuse, sadden, and outrage.
  • Cut through a lot of red tape and you're not paying the salaries for the staff at the adoption agency. I guess.
  • If only Obummer would get rid of those useless government regulations, we could finally buy some adopted children at Walmart while shopping for sweatpants like the founding fathers intended.
  • Pocket Ninja: I wonder how long it will be before the first articles start to appear alleging things like child trafficking and racial and sexual discrimination.


    Tomorrow probably. Selling babies has been lucrative forever already. This just makes it easier.
  • New name for my imaginary adopted son: Zerxes.

    /A kind and loving god
    //This is madness
  • soup: If only Obummer would get rid of those useless government regulations, we could finally buy some adopted children at Walmart while shopping for sweatpants like the founding fathers intended.


    Walmart?! Puh-leeze, as though I would buy one of those shoddy, mass-produced, made in China children...
  • Zerxes Spencer

    If that is his natural name, his parents are the COOLEST

    / Good for the two of them
    // Good luck to the two of them.
  • Pocket Ninja: I wonder how long it will be before the first articles start to appear alleging things like child trafficking and racial and sexual discrimination.


    Actually, the risk with rushing things like this is that the child and the parents won't be a good match and the adoption will eventually fail.
  • Parthenogenetic: soup: If only Obummer would get rid of those useless government regulations, we could finally buy some adopted children at Walmart while shopping for sweatpants like the founding fathers intended.

    Walmart?! Puh-leeze, as though I would buy one of those shoddy, mass-produced, made in China children...


    They only come in two flavors: Girl, or disabled boy.
  • www.runstop.deView Full Size


    "Cut out the middleman! Cut out the middleman!"


    ""You'll often notice when you do a search [online], the first thing that jumps up is, 'We can pay for your college.' 'We can get you an apartment with a swimming pool,' " says Janice Goldwater, executive director of Adoptions Together, the brick-and-mortar agency in Maryland that's lost business to Internet providers. "That's a red flag, in my opinion, when somebody is being induced by things.""

    And so spiritually less satisfying than saying, "I'm with CPS. Someone saw your child playing with matches in the street, and we've come to take her away and sell her for profit put her in an orphanage."
  • Aaargh, there's that damned "reached out" again. It's driving me nuts!
  • A couple with 2 gay looking dogs should not be allowed to adopt anything.

  • BolshyGreatYarblocks


    "Cut out the middleman! Cut out the middleman!"


    I think that might be my favorite Benny Hill sketch.

    "No, I called the undertaker."
  • Impatient parents: "We want a baby and we want it NOW!!!"
    Government Agency: "OK, we're going to have to do some checks to make sure that the baby is healthy, make sure that you're not going to use it for child porn, and..."
    Impatient parents: "NOW!!! NOW!!! NOW!!!"

    Shady character steps out of the shadows

    Shady character: "I'll get you a baby post-haste!"
    Impatient parents: "YES! You're the answer to all our dreams"

    Five years pass

    Impatient parents: "Augh!!!! Our adopted child has FASD and has killed and skinned another family pet!!! Send it back! Send it back!!!"
  • WhippingBoy: Impatient parents: "We want a baby and we want it NOW!!!"
    Government Agency: "OK, we're going to have to do some checks to make sure that the baby is healthy, make sure that you're not going to use it for child porn, and..."
    Impatient parents: "NOW!!! NOW!!! NOW!!!"


    Background checks and medical exams don't take three years.

    Meanwhile that child just sat in an orphanage or a foster home all that time. I wonder if that'll have any impact on the kid's mental health.
  • A gay couple with a poodle named Paisley? That's so gay it almost makes it back to "ironically straight".
  • I have to wonder if Leonard Smalls would have gone high-tech?
  • Wait, you mean private citizens can do things faster than a government agency!? WHOA! And, a government agency might have some legitimate oversight or legal obligation to the public that it serves so it needs to be involved to meet that obligation!? NO WAY!

    I've got this crazy idea. How about we let private citizens handle the process and government agencies just do oversight and enforcement. That would be almost a best case scenario. Less Government, more private businesses, stuff takes less time...we all win...right?

    Never mind, it'll never work. There'll be one or two instances where abuse slips through the cracks, a public outcry led by the media, calls for more oversight by government officials, and it'll all end up back in the government's hands.

    Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking.
  • My husband & I will be entering the adoption waters this Spring if our next round of in vitro fails. We've already been trying for 2 years. The prospect of 3 more is utterly heartbreaking to be quite honest. It's so scary because I do not think I could emotionally handle being conned in that way- giving someone money for a baby and it not working out.
  • I am gonna start my own orphanage! With blackjack! And hookers!

    www.theinfosphere.ruView Full Size


    /Side note: GIS for honest bender's orphanarium is terrifyingly weird...
    //Spoiler Alert: There were pictures of shirts with "Sideshow Bob" on them, not the one from The Simpsons.
    ///Also picts of the Kennedy Assassination? WTF?
  • "When we entered the pool, we were looking at generally a two- to three-year wait," says James. "And about six months in they reached out to let us know the wait actually would be probably much longer than that."

    Why? He was told that many pregnant women are bypassing agencies and seeking prospective parents across the country through the Internet.


    That's what he was told. My guess is the real reason is that the review staff saw the photo and said "Oh HELL no! We don't want some poor baby exposed to that kind of evil. A couple like that is one of the worst sorts of envirionments imaginable for a child. I mean one in the house would be bad enough, but two?? No way. The fact that they are a matched set is just icing on the cake. There is no way I am placing a child into a home with poodles."
  • trickymoo: Zerxes Spencer

    If that is his natural name, his parents are the COOLEST


    I'm holding out for Zerxes Tire-Iron Dada myself.

    /obscure?
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