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  • Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2012 Headline of the Year contests
    (Fark)  

    Below are the winners and runners-up for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2012. This year, like every year, there are simply too many good headlines, and all of us probably have a favorite or two (or twenty) that were brilliant, but sadly didn't quite get enough votes to win their respective contests. It's a shame. To those submitters: damn good work and feel free to take a bow in this thread for one you feel proud of.

    For the winners, this is your thread. Congratulations to you. Below are the results of the Headline of the Year contest based on your votes.

    HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Alzheimer's Walk set for Saturday. Search and rescue set for Sunday
    (submitter: justajonesin)

    Runner-up: Missing algebra teacher found dead -- investigators looking to solve for why, query ex
    (submitter: phlegmmo )

    SPORTS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Suh sued studio
    (submitter: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad )

    Runner-up: Czech Republic, facing elimination if they lose, hold on to defeat Greece in Euro Cup. This marks the first time in three years that the Greeks haven't bounced a Czech
    (submitter: kiwannabee )

    GEEK HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Stephen Hawking reaches 70. Must have been a really steep hill
    (submitter: MrGronk )

    Runner-up: Recent study finds six out of ten of us wake up grumpy every morning. The other four of us let her sleep in
    (submitter: phlegmmo )

    ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death
    (submitter: WhoIsWillo )

    Runner-up: Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober
    (submitter: Misch )

    POLITICS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: French, Americans, Germans and Saudis now allied against Iran, but will have to come up with a less-awkward acronym before the bombings begin
    (submitter: Gulper Eel )

    Runner-up: Bill Clinton doesn't have interns anymore, so he nailed his keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention instead
    (submitter: Tell Me How My Blog Tastes )

    BUSINESS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: After BJs, Costco is eager to penetrate deeper into Virginia
    (submitter: Joelogon )

    Runner-up: If Apple continues on its current trajectory, it could wind up at $1 trillion. If it uses Apple Maps, it could wind up at a gas station in Botswana
    (submitter: NecessaryMeansFor_NecessaryMeansFor )

    CONTEXT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Religious zealot set to take down Jets in New York City
    (submitter: WhoIsWillo )

    Runner-up: o_O
    (submitter: shopball )

    WORDPLAY/PUN HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Mother-of-two disfigured by seven tumors on her face says, "Tumor would benign"
    (submitter: phlegmmo )

    Runner-up: Thieves steal 450 miniature bottles of alcohol. Police hunt someone who is a little drunk
    (submitter: plymwebed )

    Congratulations and kudos to the winners!

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