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  • More details from Der Spiegel: apparently this guy took out a consumer loan and bought 15,000 put options on BVB Dortmund shares. He hoped to make millions after killing and maiming as many Dortmund players as possible, sending the stock nosediving.

    It's almost trite, but Christ, what an asshole.

    /not subby
  • Thanks, subby - I now have this vision of a footballer throttling Eddie Murphy, as he keeps repeating "Es... war... die... Dukes! Es... war... die... Dukes!"
  • Does this mean its gonna have a really confusing ending that no one is certain about?
  • cman: Does this mean its gonna have a really confusing ending that no one is certain about?


    One thing is for sure: It will have Jamie Lee Curtis.
  • fusillade762: cman: Does this mean its gonna have a really confusing ending that no one is certain about?

    One thing is for sure: It will have Jamie Lee Curtis.


    But will she have a penis? Sources point to 'Yes'.
  • Did he bet a dollar with his friend on if it would work or not?
  • What an amateur.  He should have hired the Russians.
  • Peppermint Schnaps?

    pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
  • Phase 1: BOOM!!
    Phase 2: ????
    Phase 3: Profit
  • That's like taking out a life insurance policy on an acquaintance just before murdering them. Criminals are dumb.
  • Farking Clown Shoes: fusillade762: cman: Does this mean its gonna have a really confusing ending that no one is certain about?

    One thing is for sure: It will have Jamie Lee Curtis.

    But will she have a penis? Sources point to 'Yes'.


    That urban legend is dumber than RIchard Gere's gerbil.
  • I guess "terrorists" are white people's new "unidentified black guy" that they blame for every crime - including their own.
    "He was shouting "Allah Ackbar!, I swear he was!".
    "Okay, Cletus, we believe you - we're just trying to figure out why an Islamic terrorist would rob five cases of Bud Lite from the Piggly Wiggly".
  • cman: Does this mean its gonna have a really confusing ending that no one is certain about?


    A bit of a twist, they sold high (short - they didn't own the options), then bought low to cover their options they had sold.

    /Mortimer, your brother is very ill...
  • Meanwhile, Adam Johnson has gone on to show just how classy he is. From Eurosport:

    In footage obtained by The Sun on Friday he is seen sitting in what appears to be a laundry room of Moorland Prison, South Yorkshire, when he is asked by someone: "It's not like you --ing raped her or owt like that?"
    Laughing, he replies: "No, I wish I --ing did for six years."
  • He deserves a job at Goldman Sachs.
  • This is a metaphor for how Wall Street views the rest of the country.
  • Someone had to do it...

    True Lies
    img.fark.netView Full Size


    Trading Places
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  • dill doze: What an amateur.  He should have hired the Russians.
    [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/elJwuD7p​fmc - 480x270]


    Holy Carp. The thrower of the magic stick must have negative farks in his account.
  • Two Dogs Farking: More details from Der Spiegel: apparently this guy took out a consumer loan and bought 15,000 put options on BVB Dortmund shares. He hoped to make millions after killing and maiming as many Dortmund players as possible, sending the stock nosediving.

    It's almost trite, but Christ, what an asshole.

    /not subby


    When will moderate capitalists decry this consequence of their ideology?
  • DanInKansas: dill doze: What an amateur.  He should have hired the Russians.
    [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/elJwuD7p​fmc - 480x270]

    Holy Carp. The thrower of the magic stick must have negative farks in his account.


    Or been on someone's shiatlist
  • jso2897: I guess "terrorists" are white people's new "unidentified black guy" that they blame for every crime - including their own.
    "He was shouting "Allah Ackbar!, I swear he was!".
    "Okay, Cletus, we believe you - we're just trying to figure out why an Islamic terrorist would rob five cases of Bud Lite from the Piggly Wiggly".


    The only connection this had to terrorism was the guy trying to make it look like a terrorist attack. Killing people for money isn't terrorism and no one is saying that it is.
  • cman: Does this mean its gonna have a really confusing ending that no one is certain about?


    It was pretty straightforward:

    1) They convinced the Dukes that there was going to be a crappy crop so the Dukes bought up as much frozen concentrated orange juice they could. Other traders noticed this and because the Dukes were well known as conniving, evil, cheating bastards others thought they had inside information.
    2) Everyone else started buying up every call option on FCOJ they could. Price for it went sky-high since everyone was buying.
    3) Once it got to a really high price, the protagonists started selling options on FCOJ. Now, they didn't actually own it yet - but they knew they had until the end of the day to buy it to settle accounts. They were the only ones willing so everyone who thought that was an under-valued price just went ape-shiat over it.
    4) The orange crop came out, it was a bumper crop, and everyone who just bought up the options panicked and tried to sell them to make back SOME of their money. The protagonists, knowing that they needed to buy up orange juice to settle up with the people they sold it to earlier, waited for the panic to set in and then bought up as much as they could at super low prices (and they could be a LOT) to make sure they could cover what they earlier sold.
    5) At the end of the day, the bought a ton of OJ at super low prices and sold it at super high prices and got to keep the difference.
    6) They escaped insider trading rules since the Dukes were the ones everyone suspected of having insider information and all they appeared to do was watch panic and decide to take advantage of it.
    7) They retired to an exotic island location.
  • Soccer is like weed. Dangerously Euro-socialist
  • Two Dogs Farking: More details from Der Spiegel: apparently this guy took out a consumer loan and bought 15,000 put options on BVB Dortmund shares. He hoped to make millions after killing and maiming as many Dortmund players as possible, sending the stock nosediving.

    It's almost trite, but Christ, what an asshole.

    /not subby


    Wow, what a farking demonic human being.  Fark him; a quick death's too good for a prick like that.
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