Real News. Real Funny.
RJReves: [img.fark.net image 425x239][img.fark.net image 425x239]
tarheel07: I'm rusty on my children's stories, but doesn't she get pooped out at the end?
Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [static-12.sinclairstoryline.com image 850x478]I had no idea that Iowa's state motto was "Do Not Resuscitate".
PoweredByIrony: Alternate story version: Goldilocks is held hostage and forced into servitude by the bears. She is made to follow them as they wander the woods and they feed her scraps of bugs and offal. Then the bears go home and eat porridge while she cleans.Later she stumbles across a gingerbread house in the woods in which her fairy godmother lives and Goldilocks is granted some wishes, which she uses to go to a fancy ball while wearing glass slippers. At the stroke of midnight she runs down the stairs, trips, and shatters the glass - slicing open her femoral artery. The bears eat her because she tastes just right.
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn: The article says "call law enforcement". So it's illegal to be a bear in Iowa?
Mikey1969: Um, subby... The bears were there first, it was there house.
Eli WhiskeyDik: Lorenzo Von Matterhorn: The article says "call law enforcement". So it's illegal to be a bear in Iowa?Only for black bears.
Mikey1969: Um, subby... The bears were there first, it was there house. Then they went out walkabout, so they were also on the move first. So Goldilocks came by after the bears had already been there in both situations. The TV station seems to be more with it than you,
jbc: Mikey1969: Um, subby... The bears were there first, it was there house.Um, Mikey... Goldilocks thinks your English teacher was too soft.