Real News. Real Funny.
ginandbacon: Is that meant to be off instead of of in the headline?
bigfatbuddhist: ginandbacon: Is that meant to be off instead of of in the headline?Makes more sense...
mekkab: bigfatbuddhist: ginandbacon: Is that meant to be off instead of of in the headline?Makes more sense...not necessarily...[geekologie.com image 640x427]
bigfatbuddhist: I've done worse things than that...I tore the tag off of my friend's mattress. Then, I called the police on him. He's still doing time for it...Every year I sneak into the mall dressed as Santa Claus and promise random children expensive dirt bikes...I buy high fat frozen dinners, put them in Lean Cuisine packages and sneak them back into the store...I send dogs to the toughest obedience schools, then, when they get back, I tell them to "stay" and let them stand there until they die of starvation or exposure...I produce free showings of Peter Pan, but at the climax of the play, where they have to clap their hands if they believe in fairies, I come out and tell them they didn't clap hard enough and Tinkerbell is dead...I go to old folks homes and persuade the residents to take a reverse mortgage...I find stray cats and force them to have sex with other cats for money...When someone is dancing like no one is watching or singing like no one is listening, I am right there laughing at them like no one is stopping me...I trick people into donating one of their kidneys to me when there is nothing wrong with my kidneys...
Roshamon: ginandbacon: Is that meant to be off instead of of in the headline?Yeah, I read that as Ring of Dying Cancer Patient and was wondering if there were any resistances, a buff to Persuasion, or perhaps a +1 necromancy.
ArthurVandelay: FTFA:"In her final days, Carlus had enough energy for one last barbecue. But while they were together, Carlus had an unusual outburst. She accused someone who wasn't there of taking the ring that she still wore on her finger."We're telling her, 'No, mama, the ring is right here.' And she said, 'No, that black man took my ring and he went to that pawn shop,'" Marquesha said.They chalked it up to delusions caused by medication.But the next day while Marquesha was out of the house, the ring disappeared."I like this part of the story.
weiserfireman: My wife works in an assisted living centerOne of her coworkers did this recently. Didn't take it off of her finger, just lifted five rings out of a drawer. Family called the cops, cops found the jewelry at a pawn shop. Coworker used her real id when pawning the rings. Coworker arrested and fired.
LordOfThePings: [img.fark.net image 634x438]
dkulprit: LordOfThePings: [img.fark.net image 634x438]That's a sharp knife.