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  • I've done worse things than that...

    I tore the tag off of my friend's mattress.  Then, I called the police on him.  He's still doing time for it...

    Every year I sneak into the mall dressed as Santa Claus and promise random children expensive dirt bikes...

    I buy high fat frozen dinners, put them in Lean Cuisine packages and sneak them back into the store...

    I send dogs to the toughest obedience schools, then, when they get back, I tell them to "stay" and let them stand there until they die of starvation or exposure...

    I produce free showings of Peter Pan, but at the climax of the play, where they have to clap their hands if they believe in fairies, I come out and tell them they didn't clap hard enough and Tinkerbell is dead...

    I go to old folks homes and persuade the residents to take a reverse mortgage...

    I find stray cats and force them to have sex with other cats for money...

    When someone is dancing like no one is watching or singing like no one is listening, I am right there laughing at them like no one is stopping me...

    I trick people into donating one of their kidneys to me when there is nothing wrong with my kidneys...
  • Something similar happened to my grandfather who was dying of prostate cancer when he was in home hospice care. The caregiver kept leaving the house with a bulging purse. It turns out that she was stealing the towels and other items. The family fired her but not before there was nothing of value left in the house.

    I wished they had the balls to hunt that biatch down and shoot her.
  • Somebody stole my MIL's rings after she passed while her body was awaiting organ harvesting. The hospital, the mortuary, and the organ snatchers all claim there were never any rings.

    If Karma exists, messing with the dead is surely the way to summon it.
  • Is that meant to be off instead of of in the headline?
  • ginandbacon: Is that meant to be off instead of of in the headline?


    Makes more sense...
  • bigfatbuddhist: ginandbacon: Is that meant to be off instead of of in the headline?

    Makes more sense...


    not necessarily...
    geekologie.comView Full Size
  • mekkab: bigfatbuddhist: ginandbacon: Is that meant to be off instead of of in the headline?

    Makes more sense...

    not necessarily...
    [geekologie.com image 640x427]


    EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
  • ginandbacon: Is that meant to be off instead of of in the headline?


    Yeah, I read that as Ring of Dying Cancer Patient and was wondering if there were any resistances, a buff to Persuasion, or perhaps a +1 necromancy.
  • My wife works in an assisted living center

    One of her coworkers did this recently.   Didn't take it off of her finger, just lifted five rings out of a drawer.   Family called the cops, cops found the jewelry at a pawn shop.  Coworker used her real id when pawning the rings.   Coworker arrested and fired.
  • bigfatbuddhist: I've done worse things than that...

    I tore the tag off of my friend's mattress.  Then, I called the police on him.  He's still doing time for it...

    Every year I sneak into the mall dressed as Santa Claus and promise random children expensive dirt bikes...

    I buy high fat frozen dinners, put them in Lean Cuisine packages and sneak them back into the store...

    I send dogs to the toughest obedience schools, then, when they get back, I tell them to "stay" and let them stand there until they die of starvation or exposure...

    I produce free showings of Peter Pan, but at the climax of the play, where they have to clap their hands if they believe in fairies, I come out and tell them they didn't clap hard enough and Tinkerbell is dead...

    I go to old folks homes and persuade the residents to take a reverse mortgage...

    I find stray cats and force them to have sex with other cats for money...

    When someone is dancing like no one is watching or singing like no one is listening, I am right there laughing at them like no one is stopping me...

    I trick people into donating one of their kidneys to me when there is nothing wrong with my kidneys...


    We should hang out
  • bigfatbuddhist: I've done worse things than that...

    I tore the tag off of my friend's mattress.  Then, I called the police on him.  He's still doing time for it...

    Every year I sneak into the mall dressed as Santa Claus and promise random children expensive dirt bikes...

    I buy high fat frozen dinners, put them in Lean Cuisine packages and sneak them back into the store...

    I send dogs to the toughest obedience schools, then, when they get back, I tell them to "stay" and let them stand there until they die of starvation or exposure...

    I produce free showings of Peter Pan, but at the climax of the play, where they have to clap their hands if they believe in fairies, I come out and tell them they didn't clap hard enough and Tinkerbell is dead...

    I go to old folks homes and persuade the residents to take a reverse mortgage...

    I find stray cats and force them to have sex with other cats for money...

    When someone is dancing like no one is watching or singing like no one is listening, I am right there laughing at them like no one is stopping me...

    I trick people into donating one of their kidneys to me when there is nothing wrong with my kidneys...


    Oh yeah?  Well I rebroadcast without the express written consent of major league baseball.  Top that.
  • FTFA:
    "
    In her final days, Carlus had enough energy for one last barbecue. But while they were together, Carlus had an unusual outburst. She accused someone who wasn't there of taking the ring that she still wore on her finger.
    "We're telling her, 'No, mama, the ring is right here.' And she said, 'No, that black man took my ring and he went to that pawn shop,'" Marquesha said.
    They chalked it up to delusions caused by medication.
    But the next day while Marquesha was out of the house, the ring disappeared."

    I like this part of the story.
  • OF.
    As in belonging to.
  • Roshamon: ginandbacon: Is that meant to be off instead of of in the headline?

    Yeah, I read that as Ring of Dying Cancer Patient and was wondering if there were any resistances, a buff to Persuasion, or perhaps a +1 necromancy.


    HAHAHAHA! Yer funny :)
  • bigfatbuddhist: I've done worse things than that...

    I tore the tag off of my friend's mattress.  Then, I called the police on him.  He's still doing time for it...

    Every year I sneak into the mall dressed as Santa Claus and promise random children expensive dirt bikes...

    I buy high fat frozen dinners, put them in Lean Cuisine packages and sneak them back into the store...

    I send dogs to the toughest obedience schools, then, when they get back, I tell them to "stay" and let them stand there until they die of starvation or exposure...

    I produce free showings of Peter Pan, but at the climax of the play, where they have to clap their hands if they believe in fairies, I come out and tell them they didn't clap hard enough and Tinkerbell is dead...

    I go to old folks homes and persuade the residents to take a reverse mortgage...

    I find stray cats and force them to have sex with other cats for money...

    When someone is dancing like no one is watching or singing like no one is listening, I am right there laughing at them like no one is stopping me...

    I trick people into donating one of their kidneys to me when there is nothing wrong with my kidneys...


    Do you know Randal Monroe?  Do you typically wear a black hat?
  • Must have been a pretty nice ring if he got $400 for it.  The pawn shop was where I got a rude lesson in retail markup many many years ago.  I took a men's ring in to see what I could get for it.  It was in good shape and only a couple years old.  I think about $200 was the original price paid for it. 
    "We'll give you $25 for it".
    That was a kick in the head.
  • i.ytimg.comView Full Size
    coulda been worse
  • ArthurVandelay: FTFA:
    "
    In her final days, Carlus had enough energy for one last barbecue. But while they were together, Carlus had an unusual outburst. She accused someone who wasn't there of taking the ring that she still wore on her finger.
    "We're telling her, 'No, mama, the ring is right here.' And she said, 'No, that black man took my ring and he went to that pawn shop,'" Marquesha said.
    They chalked it up to delusions caused by medication.
    But the next day while Marquesha was out of the house, the ring disappeared."

    I like this part of the story.


    This is a twist worthy of Hercule Poirot or perhaps Encyclopedia Brown.
  • weiserfireman: My wife works in an assisted living center

    One of her coworkers did this recently.   Didn't take it off of her finger, just lifted five rings out of a drawer.   Family called the cops, cops found the jewelry at a pawn shop.  Coworker used her real id when pawning the rings.   Coworker arrested and fired.


    Good.

    I once set a trap for a nursing home CNA that I all but knew was stealing. By the end of the weekend, busted.
  • The headline magically changed, but should still include OF.
    Off of
  • LordOfThePings: [img.fark.net image 634x438]


    That's a sharp knife.
  • dkulprit: LordOfThePings: [img.fark.net image 634x438]

    That's a sharp knife.


    So sharp, it fixed the headline.
  • When my dad took his last road trip ever, in an ambulance to the hospital, he had his prized ring on his finger, made with the diamonds from his mother's wedding set. He arrived at the hospital, the ring didn't, and nobody knew nothing.
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