- Eclipse day is finally here, and no doubt we'll soon be posting some articles on Fark about people who damaged their eyes whilst admiring it. It's like the Medusa of celestial events - enjoy the spectacle, but don't look directly at it or get its blood on you. Or go ahead if you want to, I'm not the boss of you. Indeed, we all answer to the Ferret People.
Comment Mentions
The number of comments these words were mentioned in on Fark and TotalFark in the past week. Note: This does not mean they were the most-used words
Eclipse - 1064
Jerry Lewis - 35
Hey lady - 15
Stephen Bannon - 1831
Bacon - 395
Cabbage - 32
Comment Votes
Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week
Funniest:
BumpInTheNight pulled a joke that always results in a bunch of reports to moderators (and the moderators laugh every time)
bloobeary had a suggestion for a new name for Jefferson Davis Highway
jbc went with the obligatory highway name suggestion
Walker explained why Trump would blame both sides when a van ran over people in Barcelona
BizarreMan decyphered a confusing acronym
Cyberluddite warned of Nazis in the animal kingdom
RodneyToady thought a headline about a pizza box was going to end differently
Bowen helpfully explained what AirDrop is
HairyNevus learned a valuable lesson about keeping your device's sharing settings tight
edmo showed what happens when you take up more than one parking space
maddog2030 explained why a guy made a game of punching a set bear trap
Smartest:
Lighting urged people to not take it upon themselves to take down Confederate monuments
King Something's views differed slightly from Lighting's
scottydoesntknow apparently isn't a paranoid cop
what_now sympathized with a police officer who thought someone else's pizza box was calling her a pig
bloobeary pointed out that it shouldn't be a surprise when certain actions have consequences
August11 explained why not everyone disapproves of protesters destroying Confederate monuments
what_now noticed an unusual amount of effort going into an investigation
kanesays shared a tweet asking why a terrorist's radicalization hadn't been reported
Grand_Moff_Joseph predicted the followup to an article about saving for retirement
hubiestubert described white supremacists
TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers
A few days ago, someone submitted a thread asking what everyone would write a poem called "I care" about. Some TotalFarkers went ahead and wrote poems. A couple of favorites:
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat had an angry drunk reply to William Carlos Williams "This Is Just To Say"
mikaloyd wrote a poem about TotalFark Discussion
CSB Sunday Morning: Picknicking
Smartest & Funniest: Recoil Therapy's dog had to be rescued while practicing rescuing the kids
CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stories based on a weekly topic. If you would like to suggest a topic for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please email dugitman.
Politics Funniest:
MaudlinMutantMollusk summed up what's been happening in the White House
hobnail told us what Steve Bannon's plans are now
El_Perro's source said that Bannon left for other reasons
RJReves pointed out why it's illegal to have sexual relations with Confederate monuments
The Third Man knew that Steve Bannon would still have plenty to do
Politics Smartest:
hubiestubert expanded on Heather Heyer's Facebook post about being outraged
holdmybones wanted a victim's name to be known rather than a killer's
GardenWeasel proposed a law named for Heather Heyer
Non Sequitur Man suggested a replacement statue
mutterfark agreed with a white nationalist when he claimed, "I'm not the angry racist they see in that photo"
Contest Votes
Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down
Photoshops:
Snubnose found evidence that the Titanic might have been done in by sabotage
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us how fruit works
bark_atda_moon proved that Keanu is sad even when he's really high
Iggie finally got some peace and quiet
RedZoneTuba didn't think the late Helen Thomas would make a good bride
retrophil had some colorful diamonds
retrophil showed us Elmo's first movie role
retrophil revealed what Paul Hogan was actually offering to do for us
manyone found nature's Google doodle
Yammering_Splat_Vector let us know what "Ghost in the Shell" is really about
Farktography:
Farktography Contest No. 641: "C is for Cookie" ended in a tie between two gorgeous photos: Linguine's "Colorado River in a canyon" and BecauseISaidSo's "Cascade in the Canyon"
Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, you can contact Elsinore or stop by the Farktography Forum.
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I guess its a good thin'. I already got glasses so I dont need nothing else to fark up my eyes.
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mikebellman: Would someone please give the president a fake pair of eclipse glasses?
Dude, the underwear goes on the inside.
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Mister Buttons: I plan to use my hairy palms as a UV filter.
What a hairy palm might look like
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mikebellman: Would someone please give the president a fake pair of eclipse glasses?
The only glass Trump is willing to gaze at is a mirror.
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/totality here and sick to death of the damn thing; can't wait until it's over in three hours
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IT'S THE ECLIPSE!!! EVERYBODY RUN AWAY AND HIDE!!!
Where the hell is DisseminationMonkey, anyway?
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mama2tnt: There's a storm of biblical proportions going on right now and people are saying...well, you know the derp.
/totality here and sick to death of the damn thing; can't wait until it's over in three hours
You sound fun.
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mama2tnt: And btw, DisseminationMonkey...why did this hit my freakin' FB feed and still hasn't come to me by email?
IT'S THE ECLIPSE!!! EVERYBODY RUN AWAY AND HIDE!!!
Where the hell is DisseminationMonkey, anyway?
You sound like you need a nap.
It takes time to send out thousands of email.
You try typing in all those email addresses.
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DisseminationMonkey: mama2tnt: And btw, DisseminationMonkey...why did this hit my freakin' FB feed and still hasn't come to me by email?
IT'S THE ECLIPSE!!! EVERYBODY RUN AWAY AND HIDE!!!
Where the hell is DisseminationMonkey, anyway?
You sound like you need a nap.
It takes time to send out thousands of email.
You try typing in all those email addresses.
if dissemination monkey types a thousand email addresses will he accidentally shakespear
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DisseminationMonkey: You sound like you need a nap.
It takes time to send out thousands of email. You try typing in all those email addresses.
Yes, I need a nap. And while I know you're joking about typing 'em in...been there and actually done that, and I can remember doing so on manual typewriters, so count your blessings.
/patience? wtf does that word mean, anyway? and why doesn't the eclipse happen on MY schedule? LOL
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DisseminationMonkey: You sound fun.
It's Monday. 'Nuff said?
/sorry I ranted at you; please don't suspend me, I love you!!!
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bows deeply
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mama2tnt: DisseminationMonkey: You sound like you need a nap.
It takes time to send out thousands of email. You try typing in all those email addresses.
Yes, I need a nap. And while I know you're joking about typing 'em in...been there and actually done that, and I can remember doing so on manual typewriters, so count your blessings.
/patience? wtf does that word mean, anyway? and why doesn't the eclipse happen on MY schedule? LOL
You were typing email addresses on a manual typewriter? That must have felt a bit futile!
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loonatic112358: if dissemination monkey types a thousand email addresses will he accidentally shakespear
That's what I'm hoping.
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jim32rr: mikebellman: Would someone please give the president a fake pair of eclipse glasses?
Dude, the underwear goes on the inside.
NSFW
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Because I've been trying like hell to use it often to remind people.
8/15/2017.
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loonatic112358: DisseminationMonkey: mama2tnt: And btw, DisseminationMonkey...why did this hit my freakin' FB feed and still hasn't come to me by email?
IT'S THE ECLIPSE!!! EVERYBODY RUN AWAY AND HIDE!!!
Where the hell is DisseminationMonkey, anyway?
You sound like you need a nap.
It takes time to send out thousands of email.
You try typing in all those email addresses.
if dissemination monkey types a thousand email addresses will he accidentally shakespear
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times.
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I guess people found it really funny that I own a Zune.
/still used it until a week ago when the headphone jack went kaput
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