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Login: MasterThief - UltraFark
Fark account number: 176160
Account created: 2004-08-11 14:49:41 (17 years ago)
Submitted links approved: 237
Location: Metro DC
Twitter: MasterThiefEsq
Picture
Bio:
Ex-blogger, Esq., sci-fi geek, erstwhile novelist, Farkaholic. Lives in the uncomfortable space between conservative, libertarian, and sane person. Also, probably the only Catholic on Fark.
This website helped keep me sane throughout law school. Which I appreciate. Have fun, y'all. You can follow me on Twitter - @MasterThiefEsq.
I am an attorney, but not your attorney. Unless you start paying me, then take all my legal advice with a grain of salt.
If you are here because I have sponsored you for TotalFark, you're welcome. I try to sponsor as many well-spoken, straight-thinking liters as I can. If you are sponsored, it's traditional to post an introduction thread in TotalFark Discussion. (For those who don't know, select "Submit a Link," choose "TotalFark Discussion" under Link Type, add in a silly headline and a random URL, and submit it.) You will be directed to the TFArQ (Official TotalFArQ | Unofficial, but better, TotalFArQ | Official FArQ), be presented with cat pictures, called a n00b, and sexually propositioned, possibly by a TFette. This is normal. Here, for example, is my introduction thread. After that, the world is yours. Go nuts. Just remember...only the first hit is free.
Best advice for TF, from sarty: I hope everyone considers trying TF for a month. I've been there for a couple of years. I haven't found it to be elitest or unfriendly. As long as you have a good sense of humor (especially about yourself) and don't act like a troll, everything is fine.
Take some time and post in threads and get the feel of the place. Very soon, people will start to recognize you and then get to know your posting style. At that point, other posters will respond to you more often and you to them. It is just like the first few weeks of your freshman year :)
Once a bookworm, always a bookworm:
(For TF Secret Santas and anyone else who wonders what I like)
This website helped keep me sane throughout law school. Which I appreciate. Have fun, y'all. You can follow me on Twitter - @MasterThiefEsq.
I am an attorney, but not your attorney. Unless you start paying me, then take all my legal advice with a grain of salt.
Best advice for TF, from sarty: I hope everyone considers trying TF for a month. I've been there for a couple of years. I haven't found it to be elitest or unfriendly. As long as you have a good sense of humor (especially about yourself) and don't act like a troll, everything is fine.
Take some time and post in threads and get the feel of the place. Very soon, people will start to recognize you and then get to know your posting style. At that point, other posters will respond to you more often and you to them. It is just like the first few weeks of your freshman year :)
Once a bookworm, always a bookworm:
(For TF Secret Santas and anyone else who wonders what I like)
If I was a Master Thief:
Perhaps I'd rob them...
Thief
You scored 44% physical, 50% magic, 50% versatile, and 55% good! You are more self-serving than anything else. You'll fight if necessary, and you could probably hold your own against most people, but you'd prefer to sneak or outwit your way out of it. You're also fairly greedy, and are not above taking things that aren't yours. However, you can be a very useful person to have around since you're good at finding ways into and out of things.
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
Also, because it was the best comic strip ever:
Your result for The Calvin Or Hobbes Test...
A Bit Of Both
You are 50% Calvin and 50% Hobbes
Calvin & Hobbes, like a scruffy yin and yang, are in perfect balance within you. Like Calvin, you're weird, a bit insecure, and can be a trouble-maker. But like Hobbes, you're down to earth and sensitive. It's a risk to say it here, after just a ten question test, but I'll bet you're smarter than most. Both Calvin and Hobbes are crafty, clever characters, and any one made from equal parts of each is a force to be reckoned with.
Take The Calvin Or Hobbes Test at HelloQuizzy
Thief
You scored 44% physical, 50% magic, 50% versatile, and 55% good! You are more self-serving than anything else. You'll fight if necessary, and you could probably hold your own against most people, but you'd prefer to sneak or outwit your way out of it. You're also fairly greedy, and are not above taking things that aren't yours. However, you can be a very useful person to have around since you're good at finding ways into and out of things.
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 99% on physicalYou scored higher than 99% on mysticalYou scored higher than 99% on versatileYou scored higher than 99% on goodLink: The Final Fantasy Job Class Test written by Artscrafter on OkCupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
Also, because it was the best comic strip ever:
Your result for The Calvin Or Hobbes Test...
A Bit Of Both
You are 50% Calvin and 50% Hobbes
Calvin & Hobbes, like a scruffy yin and yang, are in perfect balance within you. Like Calvin, you're weird, a bit insecure, and can be a trouble-maker. But like Hobbes, you're down to earth and sensitive. It's a risk to say it here, after just a ten question test, but I'll bet you're smarter than most. Both Calvin and Hobbes are crafty, clever characters, and any one made from equal parts of each is a force to be reckoned with.
Take The Calvin Or Hobbes Test at HelloQuizzy
I got 99 problems, but a plan to solve the national debt ain't one.
You like me! You really like me! (Or not, whichever...):
The Post That Got Me A TF Subscription, my sponsor, and how she wounded my pride
2005-07-30 04:46:09 PM MasterThief
At first, I thought "TF makes you
? 
!"
But then, I thought about it some more while I was
around this morning, and I figured "Why not? Sure, there are a few TF'ers who are 
es and 
, but most of them are darn 
people. They'll give you good 
, post pics of smoking hot 
, and links to many other 
and 
stories and sites to help get you through the long, boring day at work (not to mention 
days when you can't do much else), helpful 
's and 
es to keep me informed (I'm so much of a news fiend it's 
), a metric boatload of 
and 
links, and of course, there's all the 
, wonderful insider threads (Mr. Programmer's highly 
"Clamcakes" thread comes to mind). And I thought, "Y'know, I don't need a 
to tell me that TF would be a great thing to have. In fact, I'd be 
not to."
But
ally, there's an 
problem: I'm a little tight on cash. (Long, 
story short, I bought some tickets to 
for a vacation that got cancelled because of Hurricane Dennis.)
So, I may be just a
little 'liter who couldn't 
, 
, 
or 
to save his life, I'm nowhere near as cool as Wil
, and I know it sounds , 
and maybe even a little 
, but anyone who sponsors me for TotalFark will be a 
in my book, or at least get a permanent 
in my profile.
And that's my
for a TotalFark sponsorship.
/using every single tag, 'cuz I'm a geek
KarmicHoax -
2005-07-31 01:06:10 AM KarmicHoax [TotalFark]
xdice:Oh, good call on sponsoring him, btw - best posting ever in a sponsorship thread, he had! :)
Anyone with that sort of dedication and lack of a life deserves to be awarded. heh
And I think he's a chick...?
---
This!
MasterThief [TotalFark] Quote 2007-11-15 06:59:35 PM
Rove's influence contributed to the Republican party losing its principles.
Kos' influence contributed to the Democratic party losing its mind.
A rather fitting combination, I'd say.
CapnPlaty Quote 2007-11-15 10:11:23 PM
This deserves to be Thissed, so, THIS.
Brubold Quote 2007-11-15 10:58:11 PM
I will see your THIS and raise you a THAT.
Son of God [TotalFark] Quote 2007-11-16 12:09:26 AM
I see your THAT and raise you a FOR SOOTH.
Yodas Ugly Brother Quote 2007-11-16 03:52:44 AM
I see your FORSOOTH and raise you an INDUBITABLY
Kung-Fu Hamster Quote 2007-11-16 08:13:44 AM
I see your INDUBITABLY and raise you an ASSUREDLY.
---
"Not a day goes by I don't ask myself the same question..."
keypusher Quote 2008-02-01 02:19:54 PM
Daneel Olivaw, Master Thief
Well done, both of you. Did you forget you were on Fark or something?
---
In which I am compared to the master:
Ron Paul Revere [TotalFark] Quote 2008-04-04 09:31:53 PM
/great headline, subby
//bet it was 40Below's work
rburp Quote 2008-04-04 09:38:18 PM
Every headline is 40Below's. The ones not submitted by 40Below are just alts of his (and trolls...).
---
"There is only one way toconsole a widow get a greenlight. But remember the risk."
Greenlight Headline: "Stripper shortage forces Ontario clubs to get creative, hire newfies" [Newfoundlanders]:
fightingnewfoundlander Quote 2008-06-12 08:47:33 AM
Go fark yourself subby.
---
"If necessary, use words."
(Headline: "Pastor" Rick Warren, who will give the opening prayer for Obama's inaugural, wants Christians to act like Hitler Youth, making him truly a Man of Godwin)
MasterThief [TotalFark] Quote 2009-01-16 04:45:03 PM
John 18:36. That is all.
The Icelander [TotalFark] Quote 2009-01-16 04:50:36 PM
One more reason you're my favorite Zombie Jew worshiper on Fark.
---
"It was a team effort."
The Dread Pirate Robertson Quote 2010-03-08 01:18:13 PM
MasterThief and mcsiegs' posts were like watching Jordan dunk on a 9-year-old and then having Pippin run up afterwards, produce a ball out from under his jersey, and dunk again just to make the kid cry even harder.
2005-07-30 04:46:09 PM MasterThief
At first, I thought "TF makes you
? !"But then, I thought about it some more while I was
around this morning, and I figured "Why not? Sure, there are a few TF'ers who are es and , but most of them are darn people. They'll give you good , post pics of smoking hot , and links to many other and stories and sites to help get you through the long, boring day at work (not to mention days when you can't do much else), helpful 's and es to keep me informed (I'm so much of a news fiend it's ), a metric boatload of and links, and of course, there's all the , wonderful insider threads (Mr. Programmer's highly "Clamcakes" thread comes to mind). And I thought, "Y'know, I don't need a to tell me that TF would be a great thing to have. In fact, I'd be not to."But
ally, there's an problem: I'm a little tight on cash. (Long, story short, I bought some tickets to for a vacation that got cancelled because of Hurricane Dennis.)So, I may be just a
little 'liter who couldn't , , or to save his life, I'm nowhere near as cool as Wil, and I know it sounds , and maybe even a little , but anyone who sponsors me for TotalFark will be a in my book, or at least get a permanent in my profile.And that's my
for a TotalFark sponsorship./using every single tag, 'cuz I'm a geek
KarmicHoax -
2005-07-31 01:06:10 AM KarmicHoax [TotalFark]
xdice:Oh, good call on sponsoring him, btw - best posting ever in a sponsorship thread, he had! :)
Anyone with that sort of dedication and lack of a life deserves to be awarded. heh
And I think he's a chick...?
---
This!
MasterThief [TotalFark] Quote 2007-11-15 06:59:35 PM
Rove's influence contributed to the Republican party losing its principles.
Kos' influence contributed to the Democratic party losing its mind.
A rather fitting combination, I'd say.
CapnPlaty Quote 2007-11-15 10:11:23 PM
This deserves to be Thissed, so, THIS.
Brubold Quote 2007-11-15 10:58:11 PM
I will see your THIS and raise you a THAT.
Son of God [TotalFark] Quote 2007-11-16 12:09:26 AM
I see your THAT and raise you a FOR SOOTH.
Yodas Ugly Brother Quote 2007-11-16 03:52:44 AM
I see your FORSOOTH and raise you an INDUBITABLY
Kung-Fu Hamster Quote 2007-11-16 08:13:44 AM
I see your INDUBITABLY and raise you an ASSUREDLY.
---
"Not a day goes by I don't ask myself the same question..."
keypusher Quote 2008-02-01 02:19:54 PM
Daneel Olivaw, Master Thief
Well done, both of you. Did you forget you were on Fark or something?
---
In which I am compared to the master:
Ron Paul Revere [TotalFark] Quote 2008-04-04 09:31:53 PM
/great headline, subby
//bet it was 40Below's work
rburp Quote 2008-04-04 09:38:18 PM
Every headline is 40Below's. The ones not submitted by 40Below are just alts of his (and trolls...).
---
"There is only one way to
Greenlight Headline: "Stripper shortage forces Ontario clubs to get creative, hire newfies" [Newfoundlanders]:
fightingnewfoundlander Quote 2008-06-12 08:47:33 AM
Go fark yourself subby.
---
"If necessary, use words."
(Headline: "Pastor" Rick Warren, who will give the opening prayer for Obama's inaugural, wants Christians to act like Hitler Youth, making him truly a Man of Godwin)
MasterThief [TotalFark] Quote 2009-01-16 04:45:03 PM
John 18:36. That is all.
The Icelander [TotalFark] Quote 2009-01-16 04:50:36 PM
One more reason you're my favorite Zombie Jew worshiper on Fark.
---
"It was a team effort."
The Dread Pirate Robertson Quote 2010-03-08 01:18:13 PM
MasterThief and mcsiegs' posts were like watching Jordan dunk on a 9-year-old and then having Pippin run up afterwards, produce a ball out from under his jersey, and dunk again just to make the kid cry even harder.
Advice for conspiracy theorists:
Of two equivalent theories or explanations, all other things being equal, the simpler one is to be preferred. - Occam's Razor
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. - Hanlon's Razor
I'll thank you not to think everything you don't like to hear about is automatically a conspiracy. Bad things do happen in this world. It's worse when people turn a blind eye to it. - Farker Persepolis
Using the government to fight lies is like fighting fire with gasoline. - Farker Churchill2004
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. - Hanlon's Razor
I'll thank you not to think everything you don't like to hear about is automatically a conspiracy. Bad things do happen in this world. It's worse when people turn a blind eye to it. - Farker Persepolis
Using the government to fight lies is like fighting fire with gasoline. - Farker Churchill2004
Advice for lawyers, aspiring lawyers, law students and aspiring law students:
Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser -- in fees, expenses, and waste of time. As a peacemaker the lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good man. There will still be business enough.
Never stir up litigation. A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this. Who can be more nearly a fiend than he who habitually overhauls the register of deeds in search of defects in titles, whereon to stir up strife, and put money in his pocket? A moral tone ought to be infused into the profession which should drive such men out of it.
There is a vague popular belief that lawyers are necessarily dishonest. I say vague, because when we consider to what extent confidence and honors are reposed in and conferred upon lawyers by the people, it appears improbable that their impression of dishonesty is very distinct and vivid. Yet the impression is common, almost universal. Let no young man choosing the law for a calling for a moment yield to the popular belief -- resolve to be honest at all events; and if in your own judgment you cannot be an honest lawyer, resolve to be honest without being a lawyer. Choose some other occupation, rather than one in the choosing of which you do, in advance, consent to be a knave.
-- Abraham Lincoln, Notes for a Law Lecture (1850)
Never stir up litigation. A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this. Who can be more nearly a fiend than he who habitually overhauls the register of deeds in search of defects in titles, whereon to stir up strife, and put money in his pocket? A moral tone ought to be infused into the profession which should drive such men out of it.
There is a vague popular belief that lawyers are necessarily dishonest. I say vague, because when we consider to what extent confidence and honors are reposed in and conferred upon lawyers by the people, it appears improbable that their impression of dishonesty is very distinct and vivid. Yet the impression is common, almost universal. Let no young man choosing the law for a calling for a moment yield to the popular belief -- resolve to be honest at all events; and if in your own judgment you cannot be an honest lawyer, resolve to be honest without being a lawyer. Choose some other occupation, rather than one in the choosing of which you do, in advance, consent to be a knave.
-- Abraham Lincoln, Notes for a Law Lecture (1850)
Pics N' Such:
"No reason to get excited," the Thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late..."
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Copyright © 1999 - 2021 Fark, Inc
Last updated: Aug 07 2021 18:18:56
Contact | Report error | TOS/legal/privacy
Do Not Sell My Personal Information
Full site
